[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I don't see what all the fuss is about Apes. Dolphins are where it's all at!
Bottlenose Dolphins display a high level of intelligence, playfulness, communication ability between individuals and were even reported to (in a way) give individuals names. Also, they have brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio than Humans but, but their brains have more and deeper convolutions than Humans'.
Don't go killing Dolphins though.

Dolphins are delicious!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

Bottlenose Dolphins…have brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio + additional vivisectionist propaganda

Dolphin brains have a different grey/white matter ratio. They are not like human brains. And before you start trying to gross us out even further I will mention that octopus brains are not human either.

[CareTaker]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I don't see what all the fuss is about Apes. Dolphins are where it's all at!
Bottlenose Dolphins display a high level of intelligence, playfulness, communication ability between individuals and were even reported to (in a way) give individuals names. Also, they have brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio than Humans but, but their brains have more and deeper convolutions than Humans'.
Don't go killing Dolphins though.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I was having an online chat with an atheist the other night where I was trying to explain to him the errors of evolution. As a response he sent me the following videos while claiming that monkeys possessed some form of "human intelligence".

Hello Dr Jones; is it possible that monkeys (and other apes, such as the pope) are degenerate humans? In the fire video and the one with the tree I saw disctict evidence for a rump idolatry, similar to Baal worship but there hasn't been a thread where I could enquire. If they have already degenerated so far they're no longer cross-fertile with humans that would explain the vatican. And godless mules when mentioned in The Bible are not described as fertile (although their mothers were). Genesis 6
Confused

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I am for the total extinction of all wild animals and pets. God put them here only so that man could have something to torment and subjugate, other than women and children.

Jesus will be coming back soon to torch the earth, I don't see any reason to keep these souless playthings around anymore; they just waste the natural resources we need to keep us going til the 2nd Coming.

Killing off all the monkeys is a good start, but marsupials should be next on the list. Any warm blooded female lacking nipples is surely an abomination.

[Deaner]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

Your points could not be more timely. There is simply no reason for these disgusting beasts to remain around. All they do is remind the evolutionist of a supposed biological "link." And of course, if evolution were true, apes wouldn't be around today, and people would be walking out of the forests who just got done evolving. It would truly be a wonderful thing to rid the world of these things.

As much as I hate to put it into words, the answer is obvious to decent Manly True Christian™ males.

That's right: monkey sex. Anal monkey sex.

The atheists are mad for it

YIC

These are two of the most well thought out comments I have ever seen on Landover. I am proud to call both of you "Brothers in Christ".

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I'm an avid and skilled ape hunter. On my trips down in Uganda where i go to promote the kill the gays bill, i usually bribe some officials or park rangers so that i can legally hunt a couple of mountain gorillas. The meat is lean and tastes really good, and its a great feeling eating something that is the very last thing that atheists can use to "prove" their false theory, call me anytime you want a gorilla barbecue. The delivery addressed to Zeke's Estate is expected to arrive soon, hopefully before the weekend.

I also buy tens of thousends of acres of rain forest in Borneo every year from the Indonesian government, and allows locals to burn the acres that i bought, in order to make those damn orangutans disappear from the face of the earth once and for all.

Furthermore i think that we will also have to destroy the Galapagos Islands, preferably by dropping a couple of nukes on them, killing every single life form living there. With no apes and no Galapagos Islands, the atheists will no longer have any "evidence" for their stupid theories, and will have to submit to Christianity.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

What I don't understand is, who cares if they go extinct? Why do atheists make such a big stink about that anyway? You'd think they would be happy, since they carry on about population control anyway.

As much as I hate to put it into words, the answer is obvious to decent Manly True Christian™ males.

That's right: monkey sex. Anal monkey sex.

The atheists are mad for it

YIC

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

What I don't understand is, who cares if they go extinct? Why do atheists make such a big stink about that anyway? You'd think they would be happy, since they carry on about population control anyway.

[Dr. Isaiah Jones]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

You might want to change the title of this post, Dr. Jones. I don't want Secret Service coming after you.

Don't worry, sister. As much as our porch-monkey president wishes he could track me down, I am currently staying at an undisclosed location in the Democratic Republic of the Congo preparing an expedition with the main goal of converting the Pygmies, shooting some mountain gorillas and gathering cold-hard scientific evidence for the existence of Mokele-Mbembe (AKA Behemoth), the last living dinosaur.

Amen, Brother! The Pastors at LBC were smart enough to buy up considerable land in the rainforest in the 1970's. Thanks to our logging and mineral rights, our Chinese partners have helped us eradicate thousands and thousands of monkeys.

Brother Levi, I am glad that the LBC is already taking on this issue. But we need to raise more awareness. If we manage to rid the world of monkeys once and for all, atheists won't have anything left to back up their fallacies.

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

[Deaner]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

I'm a basketball fan. What about Michael Jordan?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction!

Amen, Brother! The Pastors at LBC were smart enough to buy up considerable land in the rainforest in the 1970's. Thanks to our logging and mineral rights, our Chinese partners have helped us eradicate thousands and thousands of monkeys.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction!

After watching those videos there is no doubt in my mind that the atheists think that these primates are evolving into humans. It's a plot by Obama and the Democrats to include them in the immigration bill to allow them into the country, give them EBT cards, food stamps and register them to vote in the next election.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction!

Your points could not be more timely. There is simply no reason for these disgusting beasts to remain around. All they do is remind the evolutionist of a supposed biological "link." And of course, if evolution were true, apes wouldn't be around today, and people would be walking out of the forests who just got done evolving. It would truly be a wonderful thing to rid the world of these things.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction!

You might want to change the title of this post, Dr. Jones. I don't want Secret Service coming after you.