[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Brother Phil you homer, when JESUS walks up and smites you with the sword in His mouth, the Bible WILL HAVE BEEN PROVEN ONCE AND FOR ALL!

I think that someone should give you 50 infraction points because you called me a homosexual! THat would only be fair. I know that i called you one earlier but doesn't the bible say to turn the other cheek?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

You claimed a few hours ago that God wrote the Bible. You also claimed that this is more provable than gravity. Will you please explain how your claim is so easily proven? (from a factual stand point with no church bias or "the Bible says so")

Who are you addressing, you demon?

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

You claimed a few hours ago that God wrote the Bible. You also claimed that this is more provable than gravity. Will you please explain how your claim is so easily proven? (from a factual stand point with no church bias or "the Bible says so")

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

The Bible states that Pi=3! How much easier does it get than that?! The significance of this is amazing--companies could save billions if they followed the simple Biblical instructions that have been around for thousands of years! Think of the money saved when they learn that they have been over-estimating by nearly 5% on every circular building they have built! The detailed proof is located in my doctorate thesis, which is available at the Landover Baptist University for the Saved library, but has been sealed by the Department of Faith. You see, if faith were PROVEN to people like you, we would end up with an overage of people in the Heaven, and who really wants to trip over mindless chinks and nigras in heaven?!



It was quite easy. If you'd have spent as much of your life reading the Word of God as I have, you'd know just how simple it would be. All it required was researching whether or not each word was True individually, and then because the whole is equal to the sum of its parts, the whole thing must be True! This is the HARD proof too -- I could have much more easily just proved that it was True because God *says* that it's true!


Use your communication skills (or lack thereof). Perhaps you need to talk to Enobarbus, as I understand that he is an expert in commucations and language use. I can't make heads nor tails of this -- what does the moon have anything to do with anything? It is hung on the sky like anything else!



The proof was surprisingly easy--12 steps in all (one for each of the disciples!). Unfortunately the entirety of the document is sealed by the Department of Faith, lest we have unwanted idiots in Heaven (as mentioned above).


"Ripped off"? You can't put a pricetag on Salvation, friend, and this is a lesson you really should take to heart...

Um yeah...

So you have basically said nothing other than i proved it but it is locked away in the vaults of the Landover Libraries. Where does the bible say that pi is 3? and if you dont mind i would really like to see this proof (dont worry i wont show it and convince people that there is a God because pi = 3)

How did you prove that each word of the Bible is true?

What i tried to say about number four was that if the heavens are a flat surface that hovers right above the earth, then how is it possible to get to the moon or saturn. From your description it sounded like you were saying that heaven is a sort of sheath over the earth like the atmosphere. Is that what you meant?

And how are the 12 deciple's accounts of the Bible verified as absolute truth? It seems to me like you answered that question with "because the bible says so. It is impossible to determine that Jesus is the son of God by just saying that the Desiples say so. I am asking you as one scientist to another how did you prove these things true?

I am really looking for a completely factual account with no speculation or church bias. I am genuinly interested and i would really like to know how you did this.

and on a final note, i am not putting a price tag on Salvation. I was merely inquiring aboutthe reputability of your degrees in the academic community. I am sorry if i offended you by mocking your degrees ( but i have a feeling that if i had a Ph D. in Darwanian Evolution you would probably show me the same attitude.)

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Brother Phil you homer, when JESUS walks up and smites you with the sword in His mouth, the Bible WILL HAVE BEEN PROVEN ONCE AND FOR ALL!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Ok show me a proof of pi being three and its significance of this change.

The Bible states that Pi=3! How much easier does it get than that?! The significance of this is amazing--companies could save billions if they followed the simple Biblical instructions that have been around for thousands of years! Think of the money saved when they learn that they have been over-estimating by nearly 5% on every circular building they have built! The detailed proof is located in my doctorate thesis, which is available at the Landover Baptist University for the Saved library, but has been sealed by the Department of Faith. You see, if faith were PROVEN to people like you, we would end up with an overage of people in the Heaven, and who really wants to trip over mindless chinks and nigras in heaven?!

Next the bible has never and can never be proven true... if you can i would really love to hear how you went through EVERY single scriputre and proved it true in under three months.

It was quite easy. If you'd have spent as much of your life reading the Word of God as I have, you'd know just how simple it would be. All it required was researching whether or not each word was True individually, and then because the whole is equal to the sum of its parts, the whole thing must be True! This is the HARD proof too -- I could have much more easily just proved that it was True because God *says* that it's true!

number four is just funny... if the heavens are a flat surface how did we get to the moon?

Use your communication skills (or lack thereof). Perhaps you need to talk to Enobarbus, as I understand that he is an expert in commucations and language use. I can't make heads nor tails of this -- what does the moon have anything to do with anything? It is hung on the sky like anything else!

How did you difinitivly prove with out a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is the son of God? I want a full detailed explanation, and because the bible said so is not a good enough answer. I am not denying the last one. I believe that Jesus was the son of God, but i really have a hard time believing that you proved it.

The proof was surprisingly easy--12 steps in all (one for each of the disciples!). Unfortunately the entirety of the document is sealed by the Department of Faith, lest we have unwanted idiots in Heaven (as mentioned above).

I really think you were ripped off when you went to this college!

"Ripped off"? You can't put a pricetag on Salvation, friend, and this is a lesson you really should take to heart...

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Certainly women have less worth in God's Eyes; even our very birth is considered twice as unclean as that of a baby boy ...

Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.

[...]

But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days. (Leviticus 12:2 and 5)

... however, you need only shell out 1/2 the shekels you would for a male (Leviticus 27:3-7. Crack open a Bible and see for yourself, dear).


Of course I do - thanks to Pastor Billy-Reuben, who explained it best:

"EVILution is only interesting as a case study in how Satan blinds people to the glory of God's creation, Amen. Satan is a very slippery deceiver. He would have to be to convince otherwise intellegent people that 900 trillion years ago a bunch of rocks just grew fur and tails then started running around calling themselves monkeys and popping out human babies."

Indeed, such Godly and learned wisdom is the domain of men. Praise!

No i am being very serious. I am am asking you if you know what evolution is with out a church bias? I am not asking was Pastor whatever thinks about evolution, i am asking you. I really dont think that you know what Darwin Honestly said. If creationists were actually educated on what evolutionary theory actually says them maybe you wouldnt detest it with every fiber of your being.

So in all honesty do you know what darwin said?

and on the subject of women... did you know that all books that portreyed Women on equal footing as men were thrown out in the councils of Nicaea? Jesus himself kept Mary Magdiline(sp?) in his company. They also only took the books that portreyed Mary as a whore, and yet other reccords show that mary was actually a decendant of some of the most prominent kings of Israel. Why would Jesus, who loves all people and does not approve of favoritism, favor men to women? Am i the only one that thinks that this is a little crazy?

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

DO you really believe that the Lord loves you less because you are a woman?

Certainly women have less worth in God's Eyes; even our very birth is considered twice as unclean as that of a baby boy ...

Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.

[...]

But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days. (Leviticus 12:2 and 5)

... however, you need only shell out 1/2 the shekels you would for a male (Leviticus 27:3-7. Crack open a Bible and see for yourself, dear).

do you even know what evolution is?

Of course I do - thanks to Pastor Billy-Reuben, who explained it best:

"EVILution is only interesting as a case study in how Satan blinds people to the glory of God's creation, Amen. Satan is a very slippery deceiver. He would have to be to convince otherwise intellegent people that 900 trillion years ago a bunch of rocks just grew fur and tails then started running around calling themselves monkeys and popping out human babies."

Indeed, such Godly and learned wisdom is the domain of men. Praise!

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Verbal and mental rape? Run away?

No, I find that they stand and take it like men. It's what they really want, you see.

Are you serious?

If i told you that you were the scum of the earth and that you would go to hell and drink sulfur with the devil for the rest of eternity if you dont learn to walk upside down and accept evolution as the way that speciation occured, you would really want to hear it? You would really work on your upside down walking and turn form creationism just like that?

Wow your faith has the structural integrity of a jellyfish!

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Rubbish. It is only those who are brave enough to accept God's Word in it's entirety who are truly "secure" in their faith, as they have secured their salvation; living His Word as best they can - within the limits set by those dratted secular lawmakers anyway.

What do you have against the Bible, dear? Are the LORD's ripping yarns of old - and timeless laws - not "hip" enough for you? It would appear your salvation is being jeopardised by your snobbery.

I am praying for you.

Thank you for your prayres?

You know there are some christians... actually MOST christians believe that the Bible is a tool for teaching, loving, growing and many other things, but not an absolute law. There are Thousands of instances where the Bible is a guide to be interpreted. Actually all of the Bible is. This would not be the case if God himself wrote the Bible, but since men did (and men are far from perfect) the entirity of the Bible is open to interpretation. I mean seriously... DO you really believe that the Lord loves you less because you are a woman?

Evolutionism and Christianity are not mutually exclusive. There are thousands of christians that belive in evolution... do you even know what evolution is?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Have you not noticed that people run away from you when you try to wittness to them with your mental and verbal rape?

Verbal and mental rape? Run away?

No, I find that they stand and take it like men. It's what they really want, you see.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

I actually love him! I am a christian, and i am also secure enough in my faith to accept the fact that evolution is true.

Rubbish. It is only those who are brave enough to accept God's Word in it's entirety who are truly "secure" in their faith, as they have secured their salvation; living His Word as best they can - within the limits set by those dratted secular lawmakers anyway.

What do you have against the Bible, dear? Are the LORD's ripping yarns of old - and timeless laws - not "hip" enough for you? It would appear your salvation is being jeopardised by your snobbery.

I am praying for you.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

Note that I kindly use the "Quote" feature that God has provided for us.....

5 things that have been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt:

1. The Bible has been read by more people in this world than any 10 other books COMBINED.
2. The Bible is True beyond a shadow of a doubt. I personally have gone through every word and proven that each is TRUE.
3. Pi is exactly three.
4. The heavens are a flat surface, stretched above the earth like a sheet (in fact, this Fact has been lurking in the scientifical field for ages, even though scientists don't like to admit it, what with their "space-time" bull).
5. Jesus was the Son of God.

ALL of these (and so many more) have been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt! Perhaps you need to visit the Landover University for the Saved research facility to see for yourself (full background check by the Department of Faith required for entrance).

Ok show me a proof of pi being three and its significance of this change.

Next the bible has never and can never be proven true... if you can i would really love to hear how you went through EVERY single scriputre and proved it true in under three months.

Now on your first point do you mean read in its entirity or just read from?

number four is just funny... if the heavens are a flat surface how did we get to the moon?

How did you difinitivly prove with out a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is the son of God? I want a full detailed explanation, and because the bible said so is not a good enough answer. I am not denying the last one. I believe that Jesus was the son of God, but i really have a hard time believing that you proved it.

I really think you were ripped off when you went to this college!

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

No, you are a false Christian. You have not been Saved® by the blood of Christ. You think God's Holy Word is like a salad bar, where you can pick and choose what you like. You don't even show proper respect for God by using appropriate capitalization!

It doesn't work that way son. You have shown us by your words and hateful attitude that you hate Jesus. Unless you want to spend eternity gulping sulfur in hell, I'd suggest that you open your heart to Jesus and stop throwing a hissy fit every time things don't go your way.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

Ok thanks... i am glad that you, the great pastor of the Saved® have told me that i am not a christian! I am so glad!? No it is not your place to tell me that how or what i believe is false. You as a pastor should be a loving shining example of Jesus' love for the world... what happened? You are hypocritical. If you are as holy as you seem to think that you are you would stop all of your criticism and start leading like the Lord would want you to. It is not your job to pass out damnation! That is why the only people that actually like christians are other christians!

Have you not noticed that people run away from you when you try to wittness to them with your mental and verbal rape? And no that is not because they are unsaved, its because you couldnt lead a gullible person to Christ if your life depended on it! Learn how to wittness the love of Jesus not pass out damnation like cookies. If you can't learn to do that you might as well work as a prison guard... no one likes them anyways.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Latest Darwinista Craziness

And since you have no proof that i hate Jesus it is that bord of "holy" members that represent anything but the views and teachings of Christ that i demand and appoligy from.

I actually love him! I am a christian, and i am also secure enough in my faith to accept the fact that evolution is true. Just because yall are not strong enough christians to not be affected by different viewpoints is not mine to judge. That is something that you will have to square with God some day.

No, you are a false Christian. You have not been Saved® by the blood of Christ. You think God's Holy Word is like a salad bar, where you can pick and choose what you like. You don't even show proper respect for God by using appropriate capitalization!

It doesn't work that way son. You have shown us by your words and hateful attitude that you hate Jesus. Unless you want to spend eternity gulping sulfur in hell, I'd suggest that you open your heart to Jesus and stop throwing a hissy fit every time things don't go your way.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?