(AP Jerusalem) Jesus Christ, 33, died expectedly Friday after shedding His Precious Blood for the sins of the world. Best known for His work healing the sick and casting demons into swine, Christ promised to return from the grave on Sunday.
He is survived by His Father, God, and His earthly father, Joseph; His mother, Mary - both of Nazareth, 12 apostles and several disciples. Upon His resurrection from the dead, Christ intends to visit friends and family before ascending into Heaven to sit at the right Hand of His Father, from whence He will return to judge the living and the dead and set up His reign upon this Earth forever and ever and ever.
Condolences are not necessary because, you see, He's not really dead. No - seriously. He'll be back. Just wait and see.
He is survived by His Father, God, and His earthly father, Joseph; His mother, Mary - both of Nazareth, 12 apostles and several disciples. Upon His resurrection from the dead, Christ intends to visit friends and family before ascending into Heaven to sit at the right Hand of His Father, from whence He will return to judge the living and the dead and set up His reign upon this Earth forever and ever and ever.
Condolences are not necessary because, you see, He's not really dead. No - seriously. He'll be back. Just wait and see.

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