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  • BrotherLarry
    Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2266
    #1

    An Update Would be Nice

    As I have been too busy bringing in the sheaves to post here, I was wondering if there is any news of which I should be aware at this Easter season, as we hop hop hop to church. Did Sister Harsha find Jesus? Did Sister Johnson remarry? Did Enrique go to prison for selling flour? What of Sister Naomi’s tasty pie?

    I have many updates regarding my life and ministry and schooling and business ventures. For instance I no longer reside in godless New York.

    Oh, Easter is such a season of renewal. I pray all of you will celebrate all of Him as He thought of you this holiest of periods.
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen
    Tags: None
    • Dennis Lukes
      Innkeeper for Christ
      True Christian™
      • Dec 2018
      • 2388
      #2
      Re: An Update Would be Nice

      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      Did Sister Harsha find Jesus?
      Nope. Still damned and continuing to enrage Jesus at every opportunity.


      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      Did Sister Johnson remarry?
      I don't even know who that is. You're not the only one who went missing, brother. It's like the Bermuda Triangle around here lately.


      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      Did Enrique go to prison for selling flour?
      Who?


      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      What of Sister Naomi’s tasty pie?
      I don't know.

      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      I no longer reside in godless New York.
      Glory!


      As far as updates go, let's see... Roper Crossburn released a new album. Jen Nettles returned, posted loads of filth and midget porn, and then left again thank God. We have remained steadfast in our committment to Jesus and Trump and in our opposition to Joe Biden, Satan, and Ukraine.
      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

        Comment

        • handmaiden
          Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
          True Christian™
          • May 2010
          • 11517
          #3
          Re: An Update Would be Nice

          Enrique is our dear Sister Basilissa's husband. (He may yet be that in name only, as I understand they were married via proxy because Enrique is busy on an errand for Pastor Zeke down in South Mexico.)

          Things have been very peaceful around here, Brother Larry. We continue to support Trump as God has guided us, and for that reason The Lord Jesus has protected us from the trolls.


          It's nice to hear that you have left that cesspool of a city, New York. Remember that shaking off your sandals may not be effective enough. Perhaps they are better burned and replaced by a new pair of wingtips.
          His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

          Guns For God and the Economy

            Comment

            • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
              An old soul
              True Christian™
              • Aug 2013
              • 5049
              #4
              Re: An Update Would be Nice

              I'll chime in on the pie. We haven't seen Naomi's moist slices for months, nay years, Brother. And we haven't missed it. The ladies - I forget all their names - must be putting in double time in the back room whipping up pie after pie. They're like a machine. An oily piston engine hammering away getting the job done. You should try one.
              If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                Comment

                • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                  An old soul
                  True Christian™
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5049
                  #5
                  Re: An Update Would be Nice

                  Admittedly I hear of retention problems with the females sometimes wandering off into the wide blue yonder slightly off their rockers. Easily captured by security. We even held an investigation and apparently the ladies "appreciate subtlety", however when I pressed them exactly what they mean by subtlety... nothing. Useless.
                  If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                    Comment

                    • Esther B.
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Sep 2012
                      • 575
                      #6
                      Re: An Update Would be Nice

                      Welcome back, Brother Larry! It warms my heart to hear that you've finally managed to get out of the cesspool that is New York.
                      And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                      Deuteronomy 6.5

                        Comment

                        • BrotherLarry
                          Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2014
                          • 2266
                          #7
                          Re: An Update Would be Nice

                          Darling Esther!

                          Is your precious father still living? Any new prospects for a husband? You’ve had so many close calls. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it’s not you who is defective but your dad?

                          I hope you’re living happier apart from him now, but still living with Jesus. I have worn the leather outfit you made me so many times; it has been instrumental in attracting men to their knees.

                          In faithful fellowship with the Father,
                          BrotherLarry
                          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                          Amen and Amen

                            Comment

                            • Esther B.
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Sep 2012
                              • 575
                              #8
                              Re: An Update Would be Nice

                              Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                              Darling Esther!

                              Is your precious father still living? Any new prospects for a husband? You’ve had so many close calls. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it’s not you who is defective but your dad?

                              I hope you’re living happier apart from him now, but still living with Jesus. I have worn the leather outfit you made me so many times; it has been instrumental in attracting men to their knees.

                              In faithful fellowship with the Father,
                              BrotherLarry


                              My father is indeed still alive and is now a grandfather. I got married back in August 2020 and I gave birth to a son last May, but enough about me.


                              I'm very pleased to hear that the outfit that I made has been helping you save souls.
                              And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                              Deuteronomy 6.5

                                Comment

                                • Dennis Lukes
                                  Innkeeper for Christ
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Dec 2018
                                  • 2388
                                  #9
                                  Re: An Update Would be Nice

                                  The update we've given to Brother Larry is also useful for Esther B., though we didn't care as much that she was gone.
                                  I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                                  Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                                  But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                                  From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                                    Comment

                                    • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                                      An old soul
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Aug 2013
                                      • 5049
                                      #10
                                      Re: An Update Would be Nice

                                      Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                                      The update we've given to Brother Larry is also useful for Esther B., though we didn't care as much that she was gone.
                                      Yes Brother Lukes, the famous LBC welcome mat is laid out for all comers
                                      If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                                        Comment

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