[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Whore! Why don't you repent? These people have a right to call you a hellbound witch slut-because you ARE. Even if you were a Cathlik, it'd be better than your Satanist religion. THERE IS NO GODDESS.

The fact that this nonexistent "goddess" is so deaf as to need reminding year in year out that this or that season is approaching - according to the neopagans it has been so for thousands of years (it hasn't: neopaganism was only cooked up a century or so ago) - ought to suggest to any self-deluded Bacchante that there is no such entity, and that the ravings of her hallucinating mænads are the false ecstacy of harlots immersed in some outrageous horror, consumed by lust & the piquant peristalsis of depravities learned in whoredom, the gross debauch of devils and their dances lewd convulsions in the grinding maw of Hell.

[Sophia Chipman]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Me making a threat? I only offer mr. Mould my help in whatever he is planning to do. Are you suggesting that mr. Mould was threatening Ofc. Don?

Jimmy, Jimmy. Why don't you just open your heart and mind for the whisperings of the Mother Goddess? You can still join us in our Ostara ritual; here is a description of it. We still need someone to play Hades.

An excerpt from the ritual:

We do this every year. Isn't it something for you? I think you would make a really great Hades!

Whore! Why don't you repent? These people have a right to call you a hellbound witch slut-because you ARE. Even if you were a Cathlik, it'd be better than your Satanist religion. THERE IS NO GODDESS.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

That should do the trick, making a threat against an elected official.
I see jail time in your future, don't worry Friday night is still cold fire hose shower night. On the bight side the Jail is serving left over bologna sammiches for dinner.

Me making a threat? I only offer mr. Mould my help in whatever he is planning to do. Are you suggesting that mr. Mould was threatening Ofc. Don?

Jimmy, Jimmy. Why don't you just open your heart and mind for the whisperings of the Mother Goddess? You can still join us in our Ostara ritual; here is a description of it. We still need someone to play Hades.

An excerpt from the ritual:

Reader:
Winter is for bedding down.
We watch the days grow shorter,
and feel the chill that heralds the first snow.
All:
Let there be joy in the cold and the dying.
The seeds of new life are borne on the winter wind.

• Hades: (to Persephone)
  I, the lord of all below
  Have watched, enraptured, as you go
  About the fields, you twirl and shine
  Persephone, you will be mine
  My chariot awaits, my love
  To take us from the world above
  Now put an end to childish play
  I claim you for my bride today

Reader:
We feel January in every joint.
We insulate, and isolate
and strain to believe that the darkest days are behind us.
All:
Let there be joy in the cold and the dying.
The seeds of new life are borne on the winter wind.

• Persephone: (to Hades) Hades does me great offense
  To play upon my innocence
  Though you may call me Bride-to-be
  I'll not go with you willingly
  By force you take me to your lair
  Do not presume to keep me there
  My mother, Goddess of the grain
  Will see me safely home again

Reader:Almost any effort seems too much, and grief comes easily.
How quickly we forget that rest is necessary;
that only in stillness is our motion defined.
All:
Let there be joy in the cold and the dying.
The seeds of new life are borne on the winter wind.

We do this every year. Isn't it something for you? I think you would make a really great Hades!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

That's not a bad idea. Maybe I can be of a little help there?

That should do the trick, making a threat against an elected official.
I see jail time in your future, don't worry Friday night is still cold fire hose shower night. On the bight side the Jail is serving left over bologna sammiches for dinner.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

We all have coffee with Sheriff Don every morning at the Freehold cafe. Let's see if we can light a fire under him.

That's not a bad idea. Maybe I can be of a little help there?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Camouflage, Cranky remind me to call Sheriff Don, me thinks she is growing pot again. A raid is called for.

You know, Freehold could tolerate Cassandra just fine if she would stay in her hovel, smoke her funny smelling stuff and not appear in public.

But, now she is out and about again, recruiting young girls to witchcraft and who knows what else. We need to watch her carefully for the slightest viloation of law and the throw her in jail again.

We all have coffee with Sheriff Don every morning at the Freehold cafe. Let's see if we can light a fire under him.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

How did we not kill her during the last witch hunt!?

Camouflage, Cranky remind me to call Sheriff Don, me thinks she is growing pot again. A raid is called for.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

You are just evil, I offer to pray that you will find Jesus. You then pray that I die and then become a Homersexual, mind you that the thought of dieing and then living with Jesus is wonderful. The aspect of being a Homer, well you are just mean. I blame your parents.
You where not beaten nearly enough!

Aww...am I being too mean to little Jimmy?

My goodness, how disrespectful can one be of an elected offical??

Watch me.

Independent, enlightened thought in Freehold? We read the Bible here, young lady. You should too.

I can't really add anything to this. Nothing gives us a better insight into the current state of acceptance of independent, enlightened thought in Freehold than this comment.

Cassandra--There is something a little personal I need to bring up here.

At the supermarket the other day, I could not help but take note of your appearance.

The ladies to Freehold are always dressed smartly, obviously trying to please men. You, on the other hand, do not seem to care what men think of your appearance.

I noticed that you were wearing wool socks with Birkenstock sandals. And, you had bare legs that, well, needed a little attention.

I hope you interpret these observations in the spirit in which they are intended, to be helpful. It would make me so happy to see you married to a fine Freehold young man.

Mr. Mould! I thought you were a decent married true christian with a public function. Are you now actually ogling my legs when I do my Eostre shoppings? What would the Pastors think of that?

Anyway, I knitted those socks myself from wool from free range sheep. And if you're talking about my legs, well, that's what the leg of a woman looks like.
I know that you only make efforts to procreate in a darkened room under constant prayer against sin and sexual temptation, and that you live in a True Christian community where all women are required to cover themselves from their neck to their ankles, but you must understand that this results in you being slightly, um, inexperienced with seeing any female body part other than the face. I suggest you get used to it, mr. Mould.

Really Cassandra, you should know here is no such thing as a gay TRUE Christian™. How many times has Pastor Zeke told you that?

Quite often, actually. About as often as he told me that the earth was flat.

PS Will you stop dumping bear feces around Zeke's house. I don't know what you game is, or were you keep that bear, but it's disgusting.

Me dumping bear feces around his house? That's ridiculous! Do I look like a bear? Or like someone who is physically able to carry around many pounds of bear excrements around (they produce a lot of it every time)?

Of course not. The trick is to place the berries at the right spot. They love blueberries, and it really affects their digestive processes, creating the pungent smell our dear Pastor referred to as "like the waste of a gay-infested public toilet." How such a godly man learned the smell of gay public toilets is something we'll leave aside for the moment.

How did we not kill her during the last witch hunt!?

I don't know, dear Crank, but maybe it had something to do with my coven hiding in the Landover Baptist main chapel, which was abandoned for the entire day when all church members were strolling around in the forest accidentally shooting each other.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

How did we not kill her during the last witch hunt!?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

I am praying as well, to the Mother Goddess to reincarnate you as a homosexual in a True Christian community after you've died.

Really Cassandra, you should know here is no such thing as a gay TRUE Christian(tm). How many times has Pastor Zeke told you that?

PS Will you stop dumping bear feces around Zeke's house. I don't know what you game is, or were you keep that bear, but it's disgusting.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Cassandra--There is something a little personal I need to bring up here.

At the supermarket the other day, I could not help but take note of your appearance.

The ladies to Freehold are always dressed smartly, obviously trying to please men. You, on the other hand, do not seem to care what men think of your appearance.

I noticed that you were wearing wool socks with Birkenstock sandals. And, you had bare legs that, well, needed a little attention.

I hope you interpret these observations in the spirit in which they are intended, to be helpful. It would make me so happy to see you married to a fine Freehold young man.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Of course not, mr. Mould. Would I be buying any vegetables then? Likely, I would rather be killing off another endangered animal species for dinner, if I had become a christian.

How's life as a puppet of the Landover Baptist Church? Having fun criminalizing and persecuting all forms of independent, enlightened thought in Freehold?

My goodness, how disrespectful can one be of an elected offical??

But, since you asked, yes I'm doing fine. In fact, I am proud to use the power of government to bring Jesus to the good citizens of Freehold.

Independent, enlightened thought in Freehold? We read the Bible here, young lady. You should too.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

I am praying as well, to the Mother Goddess to reincarnate you as a homosexual in a True Christian community after you've died.

You are just evil, I offer to pray that you will find Jesus. You then pray that I die and then become a Homersexual, mind you that the thought of dieing and then living with Jesus is wonderful. The aspect of being a Homer, well you are just mean. I blame your parents.
You where not beaten nearly enough!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

Cassie--I was at the supermarket the other day and saw someone with a cart full of root veggies, friut and nuts.

Didn't recognize the person but now I realize it was you.

Please tell us you have found Jesus and are saying goodby to your Pagan broom-riding ways.

Of course not, mr. Mould. Would I be buying any vegetables then? Likely, I would rather be killing off another endangered animal species for dinner, if I had become a christian.

How's life as a puppet of the Landover Baptist Church? Having fun criminalizing and persecuting all forms of independent, enlightened thought in Freehold?

=Miss Cassandra;716515]Still hearing things? Girl you need to back away from the marijuana buffet. That is SATAN talking to you. Jesus is the only friend you need!

That you have no friends besides an imaginary guy that only exists in your head, doesn't mean that other people need no other friends either, Jimmy.

Though I must admit, the best friend I have are the trees, the wind and the creatures of the forest.

Then again it could be the wind whistling though Beaux's stretched out rectum.

The wind comes everywhere, and knows everything. Therefore, her secrets are to be desired. Unlike your ramblings, which are the product of a fevered mind trying to make sense of the hallucinations of traumatized tribesmen 2500 years ago.

One day you will realize that you where wrong when you turned your back to Jesus.

Want a bet?

At that time, Pastor Zeke will gladley accept you back into the flock. I am praying for you. YIC James

I am praying as well, to the Mother Goddess to reincarnate you as a homosexual in a True Christian community after you've died.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Enjoy a blessed Eostre everyone!

=Miss Cassandra;716515]

That was a false accusation, thoroughly disproved. Are you telling me that growing Jasmine is illegal now as well?

False, yea right, Ofc Don just could not listen to the constant bitching. Mayor Hold let you off.

I knew you were going to ask that. I haven't heard from him since the elections. But I listen to the Voice of the Wind often, and it tells me that his soul now has found the peace and serenity it never found while he lived in Freehold. He was a good friend, and I will never forget him.

Still hearing things? Girl you need to back away from the marijuana buffet. That is SATAN talking to you. Jesus is the only friend you need!
Then again it could be the wind whistling though Beaux's stretched out rectum.

How are you doing, Jimmy? Still being the Pastors' faithful sidekick in keeping the theocracy going?

One day you will realize that you where wrong when you turned your back to Jesus. At that time, Pastor Zeke will gladley accept you back into the flock. I am praying for you. YIC James