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  • Sister Sally Bate
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Oct 2015
    • 41
    #1

    The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

    I had the displeasure of meeting a couple of mormons this weekend when they tried to recruit me to their illicit church practices. You can imagine my surprise when I asked them what types of activities they did in their spare time, and they handed me this abomination.

    ‘The Book of Mormon Missionary Positions’ is the one gay sex manual that is TOTALLY SAFE FOR WORK
    http://dangerousminds.net/comments/the_book_of_mormon_missionary_positions_is_the_one_gay_sex_manual
      The Mormon Church’s law of chastity prohibits masturbation and premarital sex. The Church even frowns on dressing in a non-chaste manner and—no surprise here—homosexuality is considered a major-league sin, a big “no no” to our friends the Latter-Day Saints. Inspired by Mitt Romney’s run for the US Presidency, Portland-based photographer Neil Dacosta satirized the Mormons’ politicized stance on same-sex relations by coming up with The Book of Mormon Missionary Positions. Think of it as a chaste gay Mormon version of the Kama Sutra sex manual. Like most Mormon-related things, it’s still totally safe for work. These Mormon twinks don’t even get their ironed and pressed missionary kits off as they attempt to go beyond the missionary position. I wanted to see some magic underwear action, but sadly, none was forthcoming.                       via Feature Shoot


    It seems to be a guidebook to their conversion practices. Apparently, there are many ways to engage in 'prayers' for these heathen folk.

    Lord help us. This is the types of activities these individuals are engaging in when they go door to door to spread their word, among other things. Purely scandalous.
    Tags: None
    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775
      #2
      Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

      Originally posted by Sister Sally Bate View Post
      I had the displeasure of meeting a couple of mormons this weekend when they tried to recruit me to their illicit church practices. You can imagine my surprise when I asked them what types of activities they did in their spare time, and they handed me this abomination.

      http://dangerousminds.net/comments/t...gay_sex_manual
      Great Moses in the morning! That's horrible!



      I could never trust those people who always wear the same clothes every day. You know who else wears the same clothes every day? Scooby Doo and all those pot-smoking, van-rockin' hippies.
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Daisy Mae Johnson
          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15708
          #3
          Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

          Why, I never....... I always suspected those Mormon boys were all gay!

          Who else would ride around on their tandum bikes ringing their little bike bell at passerbys?

          Drrring Drrrrrring. Don't look now but the gay mobile is coming. Drrring Drrrrring.




          ENJOY !
          sigpic

          Tweet me Here
          My GODLY Bio Here

            Comment

            • Sister Sally Bate
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Oct 2015
              • 41
              #4
              Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Great Moses in the morning! That's horrible!



              I could never trust those people who always wear the same clothes every day. You know who else wears the same clothes every day? Scooby Doo and all those pot-smoking, van-rockin' hippies.
              I had no idea those suits were made for sin. I am appalled and repulsed.

                Comment

                • Sister Sally Bate
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Oct 2015
                  • 41
                  #5
                  Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

                  Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
                  Why, I never....... I always suspected those Mormon boys were all gay!

                  Who else would ride around on their tandum bikes ringing their little bike bell at passerbys?

                  Drrring Drrrrrring. Don't look now but the gay mobile is coming. Drrring Drrrrring.




                  ENJOY !
                  LOL those tandem bikes are very telling indeed! I bet they engage in 'tandem' praying all the time. Sickos.

                    Comment

                    • Back against wall
                      Guarding his purity against all comers
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2015
                      • 1241
                      #6
                      Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

                      These people are a disgrace. I will never forgive them. Since my wife died I have had women at my house almost hourly trying to decide on which good Christian Woman to marry. To my disappointment I have been unable to try one out that has been satisfactory. Not one could could put my socks on the way I like it, or cut my food appropriately into small crosses. Most over 17, none 14. More recently I had a Woman come over and to my horror, after removing her top layer due to there being an issue with my air conditioning, she was wearing this. E-Gad I couldn't believe my eye's. I couldn't even remember where I put my gun I was so frantic.



                      What is this world coming to (other than Rapture)
                      Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

                        Comment

                        • Father Maurice Lester
                          Ring-kissing Papist dog
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 3366
                          #7
                          Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

                          Originally posted by Back against wall View Post
                          These people are a disgrace... she was wearing this. E-Gad I couldn't believe my eye's.


                          Mormons are like Landrover Baptwits who have a clue about real-estate and know the difference between a plural and a possessive. This is because for all of their faults even the Mormons know better than to trust their children's education to wives who are not, by scripture, supposed to be acting as authorities.


                          Bless you, My Most Likely Face Against the bed board,
                          Father Mo




                          .
                          A Cardinal in the making.

                            Comment

                            • WilliamJenningsBryan
                              True Christian™
                               
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 9384
                              #8
                              Re: The Book Of Mormon Missionary Position

                              Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                              Mormons are like Landrover Baptwits who have a clue about real-estate and know the difference between a plural and a possessive. This is because for all of their faults even the Mormons know better than to trust their children's education to wives who are not, by scripture, supposed to be acting as authorities.


                              Bless you, My Most Likely Face Against the bed board,
                              Father Mo
                              Well I'll be, our favorite ring kissing troll is back. Are the pews getting empty these days, or do you just have a big backlog of those wafers in the Vatican warehouse that you can't peddle? How's that socialist and globull warming hoax promoter pope working out - the one that's not so keen on sharing the wealth in the Vatican bank (and the popemobile is still running on fossil fuel). I've heard that Venezuela has a shortage of wafers - perhaps you should be arranging for some relief packages.

                              Bless you too, my incense sniffing papist.
                              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                              ...and get off my lawn
                              sigpic

                                Comment

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