Canadians had kidnapped me against my will.

[Bubba Buck]

As the title suggests, Canadians came to my home, tied me up, and drove me all the way to a Denny's in the heathen-filled country of Canada in a little area called "Nunavut". By the cold temperatures I felt there in conjunction with me being kidnapped, I could only deduce that hell had in fact frozen over. I always said to the good father "I'll be kidnapped when hell freezes over" and look where I ended up. They tried to feed me french fries with gravy over them. I was absolutely disgusted. Is this what those heathens feed off up there? Also, they wanted to offer me the devil's card. You know what I'm talking about. The same Devil's card that Obummer tried to push on the good land of the US of A. Socialist healthcare. I managed to escape when nobody was looking and made it to the US border wearing only my "Make America Great Again" hat. I ask the heavenly father to cleanse me of the filth that may have been left behind by the northern heathens!

[Des]

Re: Canadians had kidnapped me against my will.

Did they take you to one of their roadside bathrooms and sodomize you? My friend Gabe Asher says that the homers of Canuckistan congregate near the roadside restrooms the way their American counterparts do around porta-potties.

Your escape was probably facilitated by their drunkenness. Canucks can't go a full 4 hours without drinking enough beer to drown a horse.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Canadians had kidnapped me against my will.

...Canucks can't go a full 4 hours without drinking enough beer to drown a horse.

That's a myth. You see, the thing is we don't have to drink enough beer to drown a horse.












Because our beer actually has a decent amount of alcohol in it.

Oh, and flavour, too. Yeah, I know, it's shocking, but true.