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  • #1

    Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cat-o-licker 2000!

    Well fellow Christians, I have news that is not only unGodly but also horridly disgusting!

    While I was in the green-grocery store searching for some Godly meat and tasty broccoli, I overheard some piss-smellin' Jamakcan telling the green-grocer if he carried rasta pasta! Those disgustin' Rastafarians! They cut off their noodley hair and eat it in their own urine which they claim comes from the true rasta temple of the body. This is utter nonsense! If Jesus wanted us to eat our hair in urine, GOD would of TOLD him to!


    I'm keeping special watch! Who knows what those Rastaniggerians are cooking up next!

    -a disgruntled Mr. Green
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

    Originally posted by Carlton Green View Post
    Well fellow Christians, I have news that is not only unGodly but also horridly disgusting!

    While I was in the green-grocery store searching for some Godly meat and tasty broccoli, I overheard some piss-smellin' Jamakcan telling the green-grocer if he carried rasta pasta! Those disgustin' Rastafarians! They cut off their noodley hair and eat it in their own urine which they claim comes from the true rasta temple of the body. This is utter nonsense! If Jesus wanted us to eat our hair in urine, GOD would of TOLD him to!


    I'm keeping special watch! Who knows what those Rastaniggerians are cooking up next!

    -a disgruntled Mr. Green
    DON'T GROSS ME OUT, YOU HOMER!
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

      Originally posted by Carlton Green View Post
      Well fellow Christians, I have news that is not only unGodly but also horridly disgusting!

      While I was in the green-grocery store searching for some Godly meat and tasty broccoli, I overheard some piss-smellin' Jamakcan telling the green-grocer if he carried rasta pasta! Those disgustin' Rastafarians! They cut off their noodley hair and eat it in their own urine which they claim comes from the true rasta temple of the body. This is utter nonsense! If Jesus wanted us to eat our hair in urine, GOD would of TOLD him to!


      I'm keeping special watch! Who knows what those Rastaniggerians are cooking up next!

      -a disgruntled Mr. Green
      I always heard that they cut it up and smoked it to get high and worship satan.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

        Now THAT IS DISGUSTING!

        Not only is that darkie savage smoking his own hair, but he is also filthy naked! He could of at least had the Godly decency to put nice conservative clothes on him before thinking about having his picture done!

        My eyes are watering right now from that sight!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

          Originally posted by Carlton Green View Post
          Now THAT IS DISGUSTING!

          Not only is that darkie savage smoking his own hair, but he is also filthy naked! He could of at least had the Godly decency to put nice conservative clothes on him before thinking about having his picture done!

          My eyes are watering right now from that sight!
          Well see, these jungle bunnies don't have any God-given modesty or even any common sense. They live like animals and have no ability to comprehend how vile and degenerate they are. They just smear fistfuls of mud and animal feces all over themselves and call it good.

          Luckily, Jesus generally kills them off before they reach 30 or so.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

            Oh, Jamaicans aren't all that bad, honest. And rastas are very nice people once you get to know them. I have a friend back home who went Rasta recently and he's as nice as nice can be and definitely doesn't play with his urine (ew).
            Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
            I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
            Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
            Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
            Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.             - Ovid

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

              Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
              Oh, Jamaicans aren't all that bad, honest. And rastas are very nice people once you get to know them. I have a friend back home who went Rasta recently and he's as nice as nice can be and definitely doesn't play with his urine (ew).
              But he smokes the Devil's weed as a sacrament? Frankly, the question of whose urine he may or may not be playing with in this world is of secondary importance compared to the fact that he will spend eternity drowning in Lucifer's urine in the afterlife!
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                Oh, Jamaicans aren't all that bad, honest. And rastas are very nice people once you get to know them. I have a friend back home who went Rasta recently and he's as nice as nice can be and definitely doesn't play with his urine (ew).
                Well, they do seem to hate homers a lot—I'll give them credit for that. Those reggae/dancehall/boomshakalaka singers may be a batch of flivver-lipped savages... but every time one of them comes under fire for writing a song about shooting gay people, I have to fight the urge to fly over to Darkieland and congratulate him.

                If only they were so enlightened on other crucial issues, like the importance of washing one's hair now and again.
                sigpic

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                  But he smokes the Devil's weed as a sacrament? Frankly, the question of whose urine he may or may not be playing with in this world is of secondary importance compared to the fact that he will spend eternity drowning in Lucifer's urine in the afterlife!
                  I suppose he does although he's never done it in front of me and his eyes looked clear for the most part. He's too cute for Hell! Maybe Satan will put him in the kiddie pool of urine so he can just paddle about.

                  Originally posted by Virginia Templeton
                  Well, they do seem to hate homers a lot—I'll give them credit for that. Those reggae/dancehall/boomshakalaka singers may be a batch of flivver-lipped savages... but every time one of them comes under fire for writing a song about shooting gay people, I have to fight the urge to fly over to Darkieland and congratulate him.

                  If only they were so enlightened on other crucial issues, like the importance of washing one's hair now and again.
                  Yes, that's one aspect of the culture that's unfortunate. But the government had been considering decriminalising sodomy and there are actual gay rights groups in existence without them being constantly stoned, threatened or killed. Baby steps but it's something considering that pastors aren't roundly condemned for telling women it's their fault if they get raped.

                  I mean....kill homos!
                  Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                  I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                  Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                  Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                  Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.                   - Ovid

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                    Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                    Oh, Jamaicans aren't all that bad, honest. And rastas are very nice people once you get to know them. I have a friend back home who went Rasta recently and he's as nice as nice can be and definitely doesn't play with his urine (ew).
                    Indeed Arethusa,we have some Rastas over here. One in particular is doing quite well.

                    Monkey Business
                    http://www.nandor.net.nz/
                    Nandor Tanczos on politics and culture in Aotearoa New Zealand


                    Who knows,he might one day be our glorious leader.
                    In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                      Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                      Yes, that's one aspect of the culture that's unfortunate. But the government had been considering decriminalising sodomy and there are actual gay rights groups in existence without them being constantly stoned, threatened or killed.
                      Nonsense. I refuse to believe there is anyone in Jamaica who isn't constantly stoned, let alone the queers.
                      Originally posted by Lilith
                      Indeed Arethusa, we have some Rasta demons over here. One in particular is doing quite well. He ran on an anti-christ ticket, and instantly received the approval of 99% of the Godless Kiwi barbarians.

                      Monkey Business
                      http://www.nandor.net.nz/
                      Nandor Tanczos on politics and culture in Aotearoa New Zealand


                      Who knows,he might one day be our glorious leader. God knows we're savage, immoral and uncivilised enough.
                      NZ is infested with heathen scum. So what else is new?
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                        Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                        Nonsense. I refuse to believe there is anyone in Jamaica who isn't constantly stoned, let alone the queers.

                        NZ is infested with heathen scum. So what else is new?

                        If only the third sentence of my (mysteriously altered) post was true....but then we'd no doubt be overrun with Americans all wanting to move here.
                        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                          Originally posted by lilith View Post
                          If only the third sentence of my (mysteriously altered) post was true....but then we'd no doubt be overrun with Americans all wanting to move here.
                          Aren't you already?
                          sigpic
                          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Rasta Pasta, the WORST invention since the Cato-o-licker 2000

                            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                            Aren't you already?

                            Unhappily yes,they seem to be everywhere....except for the good bits they haven't found yet.
                            In some parts of NZ,I understand there are quite severe penalties for revealing the whereabouts of certain places to visiting yanks.
                            In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                            Comment

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