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  • Mistress Cookie
    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2008
    • 6790

    #1

    Mormons once performed gay marriage....

    I am sorry to bring such a heinous topic (mormons) into saved company, but I was speaking with a former Mormon this week, and he says that in their "faith", men are incarnations (or something) of God, as they were created first in His image, and there's something about them all being "sealed" together as a brotherhood. The purpose, to them, of their women (who are lesser beings) marrying men is to spiritually seal these females to the males, to save them.

    So "sealing" one Mormon male to another would only be somewhat redundant to them, not an actual sin. And there is writing about this from the notebooks of the founder, stored in the hillsides of Utah, along with everything else he was supposedly told by God. At a certain point, certain men who have reached seniority are allowed to go look at the original notes. They are not allowed to copy anything down, just to study it.

    Well...the big gossip is that over the years, some "holy" men who have been allowed to study these original teachings then LEFT the Mormon church, one by one, and started relationships with men. One of them wrote a book about what he saw, but about a third of the manuscript was finally suppressed by the Mormon Church and kept out of print.

    It's all a big mess.

    PS: Other gossip is that at the time the Mormon Church formed, there were many documented cases of people hallucinating from eating poorly stored grain. So these original "visions" and "visitations" of the founding father were actually nothing more than a Bad Trip, as the kids say nowadays.
  • WilliamJenningsBryan
    True Christian™
     
    • Jan 2007
    • 9384

    #2
    Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

    Given the Mormon penchant for practicing polygamy, it strikes me that this would leave an excess of men around with nothing to do but practice sodomy. This fact alone begs the question of whether or not all Mormon men are nothing but homers. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if Moroni left explicit instructions on the use of the turkey baster to propagate the race.

    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic

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    • Mistress Cookie
      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2008
      • 6790

      #3
      Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

      This former Mormon also said the idea for polygamy grew out of many men dying on the prairies during Westward Migration.

      Since women were accustomed to living on less food in their normal lives anyway, more of them survived the hardships of the west in the wagon trains than the men. When the men exerted themselves they needed more food.

      So then, with their husbands dead, there was a sudden glut of Mormon women who had property, and to keep the property within the faith the men decided that having more than one wife was okay.

      These new "couples" usually didn't even live together, it was just a business arrangement.

      Comment

      • Mistress Cookie
        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
        True Christian™
        • Jul 2008
        • 6790

        #4
        Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

        .
        Attached Files

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        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621

          #5
          Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

          We do know from Romans 1 that God punishes idolators by turning them into queers, so it'd seem pretty reasonable and logical for Him to curse the followers of the demon-possessed false prophet Smith by making them kiss boys and like it.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • WilliamJenningsBryan
            True Christian™
             
            • Jan 2007
            • 9384

            #6
            Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

            Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
            This former Mormon also said the idea for polygamy grew out of many men dying on the prairies during Westward Migration.

            Since women were accustomed to living on less food in their normal lives anyway, more of them survived the hardships of the west in the wagon trains than the men. When the men exerted themselves they needed more food.

            So then, with their husbands dead, there was a sudden glut of Mormon women who had property, and to keep the property within the faith the men decided that having more than one wife was okay.

            These new "couples" usually didn't even live together, it was just a business arrangement.
            Well, this all sounds nostalgic and bucolic, crossing the plains in covered wagons, killing injuns and what not. The fact of the matter is that our capitalist robber barons built railroads in the 19th century, and by the time of the last "Wagon Train" in 1924, Henry Ford was already building affordable cars. This "frontier" excuse for polygamy dissipated long ago. They are still engaging in it, even though it is forbidden by secular law.

            No, there is something more sinister going on. There has to be some secret panels in that "magic underwear" that the Mormons wear that permits them to engage in sodomy on a moments notice.


            Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
            brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
            ...and get off my lawn
            sigpic

            Comment

            • Mistress Cookie
              Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2008
              • 6790

              #7
              Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

              I didn't know about the Magic Underwear!!!!!

              So mysterious!

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996

                #8
                Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

                Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                I didn't know about the Magic Underwear!!!!!

                So mysterious!
                Be careful not to get too engaged in investigating it, Cookie Monster. You might get drawn in and . . . Oh, I can't even think it, it's too horrible!!
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Mistress Cookie
                  Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                  True Christian™
                  • Jul 2008
                  • 6790

                  #9
                  Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

                  Thank you for watching my back, Brother Mine!

                  I shall indeed investigate no further. I just wanted to report here what I heard about the dirty Mormon origins, straight from the mouth of someone who escaped their clutches.

                  NEW THOUGHT: Should I perhaps throw my Wonder Bra away?? It now sounds like it's related to that blasted Mormon Magical Underwear!!

                  Comment

                  • Rev. M. Rodimer
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 13996

                    #10
                    Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

                    Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                    NEW THOUGHT: Should I perhaps throw my Wonder Bra away?? It now sounds like it's related to that blasted Mormon Magical Underwear!!
                    I would suggest that you put it on and bring it forthwith to either me or a Landover Pastor for a thorough inspection. It is possible that it will be deemed acceptable, but you don't want to take any chances!
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78551

                      #11
                      Re: Mormons once performed gay marriage....

                      Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                      Thank you for watching my back, Brother Mine!

                      I shall indeed investigate no further. I just wanted to report here what I heard about the dirty Mormon origins, straight from the mouth of someone who escaped their clutches.

                      NEW THOUGHT: Should I perhaps throw my Wonder Bra away?? It now sounds like it's related to that blasted Mormon Magical Underwear!!
                      I'll tell you what, send me a photo with and another one without, and I'll let you know which Jesus would approve of, if either.

                      My private email can be accessed with a click on the link at the bottom of my signature.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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