Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Another ring-kisser sees their Goddess in a one of many stains in their filthy shack! Typical that this would happen to a Californicator. And Bakersfield is right down the road from Godless Fresno!

Some may see just a simple stain on the wall, but one East Bakersfield family say their home has been blessed with a miracle. Elvia Alvarez was recently using her blender to make salsa in her kitchen. Some of the salsa splattered onto the wall, creating what Alvarez says is the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Since this happened. Alvaraz says it's a sign that people need to be nicer to eachother. Alvarez also says at times there's been the strong smell of roses in her home though there aren't any fresh roses nearby her home.

http://www.bakersfieldnow.com/news/35239524.html

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

Since this happened. Alvaraz says it's a sign that people need to be nicer to eachother.

My thought is that "Mary" may have been trying to draw this woman's attention to the state of her horrifyingly dingy WALL!

Too bad it backfired, and now she'll NEVER clean it.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

It looks suspiciously like a sticky tomato splatter to me. Imagine how nasty it will smell when it starts to putrify!

Oh and what is that hanging on the wall around it, a sinful rosary prayer necklace? What can one expect of an ignorant superstitious beadfinger, anyway?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

Is there anything that those Romanist Messy-can'ts won't worship — other than Jesus, I mean?

Alvarez also says at times there's been the strong smell of roses in her home though there aren't any fresh roses nearby her home.

I imagine that there's the strong smell of something.

[Jimmy-Roy Stewart]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

We had a stain like that on are kitchen wall except it was tomato sauce we dont' eat stuff like salsa it upsets my stomach if id' of known about this and i wasnt' a Christian we could of started our own catlick church and charged them allot of money.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

It is always a heart-warming moment when we witness such passion towards The Blessed Virgin Mary but I must admit that there is little to suggest this unintended wall-art is anything more than a simple domestic stain.

Having the benefit of extensive religious training, as well as extensive training in the area of fine arts, I can assure one and all that proper apparitions of the Mother of Jesus are never done in a style that so closely resembles Monet doing a large dab-stroke homage of Toulouse-Lautrec's famed series from Le Moulin Rouge.



Bless you, my velvet Elvis,
Father Mo



.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

Well, well, Jimmy-Roy mentions conning the credulous Messy-can'ts, and look who shows up.

Having the benefit of extensive religious training, as well as extensive training in the area of fine arts, I can assure one and all that proper apparitions of the Mother of Jesus are never done in a style that so closely resembles Monet doing a large dab-stroke homage of Toulouse-Lautrec's famed series from Le Moulin Rouge.

I don't think your goddess is yet up to a greeting-card level of artistic talent.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

...I don't think your goddess is yet up to a greeting-card level of artistic talent.

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Again... we see something from the impressionist school. I get a strong sense of Matisse from this water-stain but there is nothing wrong with Matisse.

The most credible of these apparitions tend towards the sort of portrait realism we associate with Rembrandt and the type of iconic representation often ascribed to both the Renaissance and Pre-Renaissance schools of Venice.




Bless you, my culture-challenged curiosity,
Father Mo




.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

You could take a crap on the ground and a line of Mexicans, and maybe even a bunch of especially-retarded Irish-types, would wait for a turn to pray in front of it. When they're done with that they can head over to my place and check out the patch of dead grass on my lawn that looks like Jack Lemmon.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Messicant Bead-Counter Worships Dirty Kitchen

This is a sign! This image can only be the work of Satan. Therefore, Salsa is evil! Spread the word brothers!