X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Re: Twilight!

    Although Twilight is a horrible curse upon the earth it does not affect True Christians(TM) because we're too smart to fall for it. I do find it's cult status interesting from a psychological view of liebrals and Mormons.

    1. Twilight Moms ~ These are 50 year old women (quite often married) who want to fornicate with either Edward (necrophilia) or Jacob (bestiality). They are considered normal by the liebral media! Yet the good brothers on here are called all sorts of nasty names because they want a young fertile wife that can give them soldiers for Christ. Talk about a double standard.

    2. Edward is the perfect Mormon boy. He doesn't believe in open mouth kissing, swearing, chewing tobacco, drinking caffeine, and enjoys time with his family. Stalking seems to be his favourite passtime, which is perfectly acceptable to Mormons. I think this is to soften up liebral girls to accept being "loved"/stalked by Mormon boys.

    3. Marrying Edward will be for time and eternity - again, what church teaches this?

    4. Jacob is a laminite and therefore nothing better than an animal. It's nice that she gave him the loyalty of a dog though. No matter how many times Bella kicks him he comes back and tries to hump her leg. So for those liebral girls who aren't into the goody Mormon boys, they can turn to injuns and have animal sex with them.

    5. Bella is an attention whore who will do anything (including risk her life) in order to make men do her bidding. Now does that sound like a good Christian woman to you? Is this what Mormons teach their women to do? Well considering how passive aggressive my sister is, I think so.

    6. The Volterra (evil vampires) are the Catholic church. They're even based out of Rome. Mormons hate Catholics more than Christians do. Jealous I guess.

    7. When the injun/dog guy tries to rape Bella, her father actually praises him for the attempt. Considering other stories I've heard, Mormons do actually promote rape. They think it cures everything from frigidity to the gay. In fact daddy is upset that she marries the dead guy rather than the dog.

    8. The woman is completely incapable of being faithful to necrophilia and keeps wanting a taste of "doggy style"

    9. In book 4 when they finally have sex within the confines of Mormon marriage, he beats her from head to toe, and she likes it! Sounds sickening to me. Is this what we want our girls to expect on their wedding night?

    10. Is Myers a whiny bitch who thinks everyone should do everything for her? Because that's what she made Bella into.

    11. When Bella is pregnant, Edward wants her to kill the baby. Since when is abortion legal in the Mormon church?

    12. It turns out that Jacob wasn't in love with Bella, but was in love with the baby that Bella would have. What kind of sick twisted woman thinks that a man should be obsessively in love with a new born child? Is this part of the Mormon religion?

    Another thing I want to mention about the culture in the LDS faith: obviously, babies are Important, and the more you have, the more you are clearly blessed. Sucks to be you, childless! Well, you'll have babies in heaven. Sucks to be you, too, unmarried! Well, you'll be married in heaven, then you can have babies and have some worth. The thing is that you HAVE TO REMIND PEOPLE that your baby was conceived AFTER you were properly married.

    No less than FOUR TIMES in one year (no, really) I heard couples stand up IN CHURCH SERVICE and explain how their baby was born a week early, so anyone doing the 9 month math will know that it was a honeymoon baby BORN EARLY. This happened FOUR TIMES in one year while I was living in Utah. And everyone in the congregation chuckles, and makes mental notes that they were Righteous. Does this happen in any other church? Because I don't think I've ever heard of this happening in any other service I've attended over the years. Good lord.

    Another thing, I had a couple of married guys at a place I worked while going to college in Utah explain to me that having sex after being married in the temple is the greatest thing ever. Having sex before that is cheap and ugly. (Only if you're picking up whores on the docks while drunk, I wanted to say.) Once they finished I was all, "I'm going to go take the bread basket out to the table now, cool? Jeeeeeeeesus."

    Again, sex is talked about ALL THE TIME. If you aren't married, you shouldn't have it. You shouldn't do it. This: *diagrams with laser pointers* Let me explain all the ways that you can have sex. Now don't do it. <-- in church, in the break-off Sunday school classes, in Firesides (Sunday night hour long lectures,) on Wed. night break-off classes for the different sexes... Sex is constantly talked about. It's really fucking weird.
    http://stoney321.livejournal.com/319735.html
    Don't worry, I didn't read the books or see the movies. This is mostly taken from Psychology students who are as confused about the cult as I am.
    Drama queen

    Comment


    • #32
      Re: Twilight!

      My fiance and I decided to go to Burger King tonight because I'm collecting the game pieces for the Twilight Saga Eclipse Game. It was a little bit before ten o'clock and the line for the drive thru didn't look as long as the wait actually took we literally sat in the car without any cars moving for five minutes. As we got the chance to look at their first drive thru menu boards I noticed they did have the Eclipse prize board posted on it which led me to believe they were advertising for the contest. I ordered the number eight which is the chibata bread grilled chicken meal I upgraded to a large thinking I would get more game pieces and possible closer to winning.

      The young woman that was taking our order painfully sounded like she did not want to be working at all she honestly sounded like a girl version of Pedro from Napolien Dinomite she took so long taking our order we had to tell her we were finished ordering. From the time we ordered to the time we got to pay and recieve our order it was at least ten minutes. Burger King is considered a "fast food" restaurant which waiting fifteen minutes for two burgers one order of large fries and a large soda does not what so ever mean fast food to me anyway as we approched the pick up window I noticed that there were no Eclipse food containers to be found.

      If I had known that they did not have those items I would not have even decided to go there. They same young woman that took our orders was also the one who gave us our order the volume of her voice was so low that even my fiance, who was in the drivers seat, could not even make out half of what she was saying.

      I know the chances of winning big from these contests are really slim but what if one of the game pieces I was supposed to recieve could of been the winning one? I was very upset to have waited so long just to be completely unsatisfied with the whole expierence.

      Should I sue Burger King?
      Dog's are mans best friend .

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Twilight!

        The only thing Twilight is guilty of in my opinion is being absolute twaddle, now if you want to watch something about Vampires go and watch "True Blood" or get "The Hunger" out from the video library. both of them are great to watch, nothing to do with reality and just like the KJV1611 make-believe.
        Posted via Pasta

        True Pastafarian™

        May my Sauce be with you!
        Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
        Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
        The Loose Canon - HTML version
        Loose Canon Fan Page
        North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
        I have been to The Volcano!

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: Twilight!

          Originally posted by Forest Spirit View Post
          Should I sue Burger King?
          No, you should slap your mother and father for raising you to be a limp-wristed, Godmocking fool.


          Then you should turn your life over to Jesus. With Him there's a winner every time!
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: Twilight!

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            No, you should slap your mother and father for raising you to be a limp-wristed, Godmocking fool.


            Then you should turn your life over to Jesus. With Him there's a winner every time!
            thot yov said that yov gvys didn't tell people what to do

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: Twilight!

              Twilight - too much teen angst, not enough carnage.
              I much prefer the Blade series or Laurell Hamilton's Anita Blake series.

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: Twilight!

                I'm opinionless on the christian side of the issue, but I boycott the books because they're stupid. The vampire boyfriend is abusive and the girl is a spineless mormon. And the plot (at least of the first one, the only one I could bring myself to read) was weak and overemotional.
                If you want to post here, you will abide by the rules. Admin

                Comment

                Working...
                X