[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Evolutionists claim that this creature, the jackalope, can't exist:



Yet it does exist. You can find pictures of it in any souvenir postcard shop in the western USA. Because despite what the so-called "scientists" say, God can create jackalopes, dragons, unicorns, and whatever other creatures He so desires to populate his glorious kingdom.

Remember, you can run from Jesus, but you can't hide.

Hallelujah,
Buford

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Lol. A good thing that those aren't literal translations from Hebrew

Oh, because you're suddenly an expert on Jew jibber-jabber, are you? Would you care to give us more accurate translations?

Anyways, I just know the Jesus story, not much of anything else.

You don't know much of anything full stop. Where did Jesus say we should all be fags and write in homer pink text?

Compare it to something like the cockatrice, which is mentioned in the Bible and is COMPLETELY believable and grounded in reality.

Indeed. Why, our very own Lilith is widely rumoured to have come from an egg laid by a cock, and there have been documented cases of men dying just from looking at her.

That's fine with me. The more homers get the GRIDS, the better.

Pardon my ignorance Brother T, but what is the GRIDS?

Gay-Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome. The real name for the AIDS from before the politically correct homer lobby censored it. I don't know why some people call it the VGRIDS, though.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

[quote=Brother Temperance;94776]
That's fine with me. The more homers get the GRIDS, the better.
quote]


Pardon my ignorance Brother T, but what is the GRIDS?

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

It's this little thing called carbon14 dating that they use on old bones that prove that humans and other species have evolved from older and inferior forms.

The problem with Carbon 14 dating is that it is a whole lot of scientific hogwash and lies. Carbon 14 works like this- matter decays after it dies and Carbon 14 has a half life of 5730 years. The problem with this, as an scientist (who is also a Christian) will tell you, is that the world is only a little over 6,000 years old meaning this technique only works on beings that lived during the first ~270 years of the earth. Additionally the standard deviation for this method is 45-75 years and it isn't always accurate. So essentially you are using a method for dating bones that simply won't work for another thousand or so years (and God-willing the earth will have exploded by then). In the end God trumps all again and your scientific smoke and mirrors cannot stand up to the word of God and the Bible is still the ultimate authority for humans on earth. Stop blindly putting your faith in this silly carbon 14 dating and accept Jesus and the Bible because it is the only record of the past we need.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

"Orthocone" and "cockatrice" are both homerspeak for "let's go to the toilet and tap toesies". We don't allow that sort spicy gumbo talk in here!

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

People have actually found countless unicorn horns over the past few hundred years. Back then they knew what the horns were, but then evolutionists started pretending that they were just shells that had octopus things called "orthocones" living inside them. Do a search for it on the Google. One of these squid things was supposed to be almost forty feet long—yes, a bus-sized ice cream cone with tentacles. How ridiculous! These evolutionists really let their imaginations get the better of them sometimes.

Compare it to something like the cockatrice, which is mentioned in the Bible and is COMPLETELY believable and grounded in reality.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

The Bible is meant to be interpreted literally.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Where are there unicorns or dragons in the bible? If you find me them then I will laugh. And only certain bones fit with others...

I'm not here to make you laugh, I'm here to make you become converted, baptized, and registered to vote as a republican.

I've already written about this. Since you're too lazy to look it up, I'll post it again.

On Dragons:

http://www.biblegateway.com/topical/topical_resource.php?source=1&tid=1467

Often of a red colour (Revelations 12:3)
Its mournful voice alluded to (Micah 1:8)
Its wailing alluded to (Micah 1:8)
Its snuffing up the air alluded to (Jeremiah 14:6)
Its swallowing of its prey alluded to (Jeremiah 51:34)
A species of, in rivers (Psalms 74:13; Isaiah 27:1)
Of the devil . (Poison of,) of wine (Deuteronomy 32:33)
DESCRIBED AS » Powerful (Revelations 12:4)
DESCRIBED AS » Poisonous (Deuteronomy 32:33)
DESCRIBED AS » Of solitary habits (Job 30:29)
FOUND IN » The wilderness (Malachi 1:3)
FOUND IN » Deserted cities (Isaiah 13:22; Jeremiah 9:11)
FOUND IN » Dry places (Isaiah 34:13;43:20)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of cruel and persecuting kings (Isaiah 27:1;51:9; Ezekiel 29:3)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of enemies of the church (Psalms 9:13)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of wicked men (Psalms 44:19)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of the devil (Revelations 13:2;20:2,7)

Question #2: Do you believe in Unicorns?

Correct answer: Yes, we know about their agility and their magic horns, which they sometimes have two of.

http://www.biblegateway.com/topical/topical_resource.php?source=2&tid=8128

Sometimes found with two horns (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies (Psalms 22:21)
The young of, remarkable for agility (Psalms 29:6)
Generally had a single horn (Psalms 92:10)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies . (The position of its horns,) of the exaltation of saints (Psalms 92:10)
DESCRIBED AS » Intractable in disposition (Job 39:9,10,12)
DESCRIBED AS » Of vast strength (Job 39:11)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of God as the strength of Israel (Numbers 23:22;24:8)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of the wicked (Isaiah 34:7)

Question #3: Do you believe in Giants?

Correct answer: Yes, in fact we even know who there king was, and where they lived.

http://www.biblegateway.com/topical/topical_searchresults.php?searchtype=all&search=giants&resultspp=25&source=1

The last of, destroyed by David and his warriors (1 Samuel 17:4,49,50; 2 Samuel 21:15-22)
Subdued by Chedorlaomer (Genesis 14:5)
Og the king of Bashan was of (Joshua 13:12)
Dwelt in Canaan (Joshua 17:15)
THE VALLEY OF » A border of Judah (Joshua 15:8)
THE VALLEY OF » Was exceedingly fruitful (Isaiah 17:5)
THE VALLEY OF » David obtained victories over the Philistines in (2 Samuel 5:18,25)

[Poison__x]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea. 7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.



Job 30:29 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.

Lol. A good thing that those aren't literal translations from Hebrew Anyways, I just know the Jesus story, not much of anything else.

And anyone who has gone through the 8th grade should know what carbon14 dating is.

[Seeker]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea. 7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.



Job 30:29 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.

Holy cow, this is why I love LBC! You do know the word and you leave no stone unturned. Praise Jesus!!!


I never knew this was in scripts (sinner me) but I thank god for opening my eyes of the good book.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

No true Christian is going to let their kids to be carbon-dating when they're just 14. Personally, I don't think that anybody should be dating until they reach age 18.

You let your kids date at age 14, and you're gonna be a grandparent before your time. And remember, abortion is murder.

fighting for Team Jesus,
Buford

That would be very true, Buford.
However, I'm speaking of dating as in determing the age of an object.

As for children, I don't have any.. Well, I have a *son*..
But he is a bastard.. so I got rid of him by selling him to our church.
Since He can't enter the congregation of the Lord, not even until his tenth generation..
There's basically, no hope for him.

He also was a little bit of a homosexual.
He liked hot dogs and such depraved fag food.
And he couldn't even stay locked in a pitch-dark cellar for a day or so without crying like a girl..
And at the age of 8 on top of that!
He should be able to kill his own food at that age damnit!

Where he is now.. I don't know.
Pastor Pistle might as he was overseeing the deal, but me.. I'm just glad to be rid of him.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Because carbon-14 dating is just that.. A DATING method.. Nothing else.

No true Christian is going to let their kids to be carbon-dating when they're just 14. Personally, I don't think that anybody should be dating until they reach age 18.

You let your kids date at age 14, and you're gonna be a grandparent before your time. And remember, abortion is murder.

fighting for Team Jesus,
Buford

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Where are there unicorns or dragons in the bible? If you find me them then I will laugh...

Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea. 7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.



Job 30:29 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

Where are there unicorns or dragons in the bible? If you find me them then I will laugh. And only certain bones fit with others...

You're free to open the Bible for yourself since there are no less than 50 mentions of the factual dragons that inhabited the earth in the olden days.

[Poison__x]

Re: Vampires: Fact or Fiction????

That's absurd, you're saying he's got monkey feet and ape arms and a rat nose and human nipples?

Have you even read the Bible? There are lots of strange creatures that left strange bones around which scientists have misinterpreted. For example, Unicorns, Satyrs, Dragons, angels, demons, talking snakes, giants...That's a lot of strange bones for you evilutuionists to comit fraud with.

Where are there unicorns or dragons in the bible? If you find me them then I will laugh. And only certain bones fit with others...