How to witness to a mooselimb

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: How to witness to a mooselimb

I believe our Godly Military has the right idea, blow up their mosques:

http://columbiacitypaper.blogspot.com/2007/05/military-laughs-while-blowing-up-mosque.html

Perhaps Brother Trent can get an RFP from Halliburton to replace them all with True Christian™ churches.

Glory!
Praise Jesus!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: How to witness to a mooselimb

Honestly in my opinion it isn't even worth trying to minister to these Unsaved Trash. Perhaps it is just my weary bones speaking, but it is a scientific fact that once these morans are introduced to "Logic" and "Critical Thinking" that their soul has a 97.99% chance of going straight to Hell. This is not to say that a life-changing event or other intervention of God could save their miserable souls, but I have become so sick and tired of being called names and such. At this point I am with Brother Trent and I say just send them home to judgement and let Jesus sort it out. It truly weakens the spirit: the persecution just makes my Dom Perignon almost un-enjoyable. Come quickly Lord Jesus and take us to Heaven!

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: How to witness to a mooselimb

I still don't like the word "Soul-winner" that Jack Chick uses in his articles, it conjures up images of a Christian and a Muslim holding each other and crying while the Muslim says something like "How could I have been so blind?". What I'm trying to say is that it sounds a little... fruity.

I prefer the phrase "Soul-Conqueror". The very phrase arouses thoughts of a muscle-clad Marine bearing a machine gun, two ammo belts wrapped around his rippling chest, several grenades on his belt and a knife in a holster on his leg crashing through a conveniently placed window in a ceiling onto a stereotypical Muslim with a big beard, a white robe and a diaper on his head. The Soul-Conqueror then says an awesome one-liner like "Where's you God now, Abu?" and then impales the Muslim on his bayonet and heaves him out of a 40-story window onto a parked car. Not only is that kind of unnecessary violence completely awesome but it would surely win more souls to Christ than these sob stories and "soul-winning" garbage that isn't even fit for a Lifetime channel movie.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: How to witness to a mooselimb

Chick Publications does it again! Read here about how to witness, and how not to witness, to followers of the false religion of Is-lame. In particular, that article includes the following invaluable tip:



What a brilliant idea! Praise Jesus for Chick Publications!

This publication may also work for atheists too. All too often atheists are sadly ignorant on how The Bible clearly and concisely explains everything. If Brother Jack delivers like he has in the past this latest publicans will put the nail in the coffin of two false beliefs.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Chick Publications does it again! Read here about how to witness, and how not to witness, to followers of the false religion of Is-lame. In particular, that article includes the following invaluable tip:

What went wrong? By using the Qur’an as the authority, you are rejecting the Bible as the sole authority. The only true way to witness with the Qur’an is to show its contradictions!

Mohammad Al Ghazoli’s new book, Christ, Muhammad & I is a good place to find them. Show them how contradictory their book from Allah is. Then show them the amazing consistency and clarity there is in the Bible.

What a brilliant idea! Praise Jesus for Chick Publications!