[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

And Pastor Pistle heard a voice in his head. Who was that? YOu assume God, because he is one of your believers.

Oh, NO! NOT AT ALL! When GOD speaks to you, there is NO QUESTION who is talking. It is like Charlton Heston yelling in your ears, except it is more like THUNDER.

[Goats]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

That's frightening Pastor. I hear whispers of warmth and kindness in my ears. God speaks in funny ways i guess

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

The Devil often appears as an angel of light. You should have known you shouldn't have trusted that voice the minute it told you to quit believing the Bible.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Goats]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I believe in the bible, just not the KJV. Please Pastor, I am young and tired. I retire tonight. I shall return tommorow with re-newed strength. Goodnishgt everyone.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen

[Brother V]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I believe in the bible, just not the KJV. Please Pastor, I am young and tired. I retire tonight. I shall return tommorow with re-newed strength. Goodnishgt everyone.

What version of the bible do you believe in?

As for a whispering God, He's never been known to be a whisperer. He was always loud and powerful.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I just realized that this is a young emo who has just discovered he is a typical brit poofter and is trying to make himself believe JESUS will love him anyway.

Just another of the sad stories we have to deal with on a daily basis.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I believe in the bible

No, you don't. You don't trust the Bible at all.

You take the bible literally, you shouldn't.

And who wrote the bible? Men. Men can change words Pastor.

I'd liek you to know that i do not hate the bible, I just know that there are contradictions found in it.

When you get home from school tomorrow, I have a homework assignment for you, a short, enjoyable open Bible Quiz: The NIV Challenge

Here is a short graphic novel that explains how all of those false Bible versions came into being: The Attack

Since you are so young, you might get something out of The Brick Testament. Reverend Brendan Powell Smith is in the process of illustrating the entire Bible with Lego brand bricks, and he is doing a wonderful job of it. The Lord is working through this man, and he is staying true to the meaning of God's Word.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

Okay, I'll ask you:

WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THE RETARDED ARE CHILDREN OF SATAN?

Chapter, verse, & quote please!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I believe in the bible, just not the KJV.

Allright then..
So then you must believe:

That God hates all sinners.
The arrogant cannot stand in your presence;
You hate all who do wrong.
Psalm 5:5 - The Damnable NIV.

That God isn't all-forgiving.
And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men,
But the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.
Mark 12:13 - The Damnable NIV.

That God wants homosexuals dead.
If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable.
They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Leviticus 20:13 - The Damnable NIV.

That women are to be ruled by their husbands.
To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."
Genesis 3:16 - The Damnable NIV.

That God wants those of other faiths destroyed.
Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed.
Exodus 22:20 - The Damnable NIV.

And so on, and so on..

See, this is the same message here as the one you get in the Holy KJV. Except the wording is truly horrible in the NIV..
The error of the NIV is in that it denies that Jesus was the son of God, that angels are holy, removes certain verses etc etc..
But it still has alot of verses you would consider "bad", so you've once again proven your stupidity and hypocrisy.

Face fact, you dumb kid.
You IGNORE the Bible, even the corrupted versions of it.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THE RETARDED ARE CHILDREN OF SATAN?

All sinners are the children of Satan. Of course "children of" is purely metaphoric as they show themselves to be his by their rebellion against God.
I do find it funny that of all people, a catlick "priest" is demanding to know where something is in the Bible. Your whole sham of a religion is based on ignoring the Bible!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

That's frightening Pastor. I hear whispers of warmth and kindness in my ears. God speaks in funny ways i guess

The real and Almighty GOD speaks loudly and clearly!

Take heed, you never know when your time is up! That tickling on your tender little teenybopper's neck is the warm breath of satan as he tempts you with his seductive voice to slip further and further away from the truth ...

... and it will get a lot warmer if for instance you are in an accident and get killed tomorrow, or if Jesus loses patience with you and decides tomorrow to kill you for your non-belief and butt-kick you promptly into the Lake of Fire, ghostboy!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

God speaks like thunder, not like a whispering homosexual.
This is a Biblical FACT.

The LORD thundered from heaven, and the most High uttered his voice.
2 Samuel 22:14

The voice of the LORD is upon the waters:
The God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters.
Psalm 29:3

Father, glorify thy name.
Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.
The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spake to him.
John 12:28-29

And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying,
Alleluia: For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Revelation 19:6

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

I'd just like to take this opportunity to claim a worthy victory for Jesus. You may have noticed that the two false Christians, Ghost and the other one, are exhibiting wonderful grammar and spelling, and have written clear and concise posts, very coherent and readable in the utmost.
Obviously I can't take all the credit for this, but I'd like to use this as an example of how Landover Baptist Forums has resulted in their use of English improving remarkably since they first appeared as "enemyofyoupeople" ( I think that name should be changed to "enemyofliteracy" but it's not necessary now - but I digress).
Please Join with me now in giving thanks to JESUS for allowing us into their lives and improving them, even just a little bit, for the GLORY of God.
Well done Landoverians - its obvious Jesus is working through us to improve their miserable little lives.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

God speaks like thunder, not like a whispering homosexual.
This is a Biblical FACT.

The LORD thundered from heaven, and the most High uttered his voice.
2 Samuel 22:14

The voice of the LORD is upon the waters:
The God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters.
Psalm 29:3

Father, glorify thy name.
Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.
The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spake to him.
John 12:28-29

And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying,
Alleluia: For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Revelation 19:6

1 Kings 19:11-13a:

Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound, and it was the Lord.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

All sinners are the children of Satan. Of course "children of" is purely metaphoric as they show themselves to be his by their rebellion against God.
I do find it funny that of all people, a catlick "priest" is demanding to know where something is in the Bible. Your whole sham of a religion is based on ignoring the Bible!

Well, you say something's only a truth of faith if it's in the Bible, so I'm asking you to either prove your point or concede to the contrary.