2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

[Ponderous]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Friend,

We TRUE Christians have turned our lives over to Jesus. You criticize us, you criticize God.

God is not mocked friend.

So you are awarded with a status of God himself?
I thought there is only one God. But now it seems this forum is full gods

[PetitionLady]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Beautifully said, Brother BAB! Excellent rating.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Thank you for response. Yes, my english is a bit rusty. But this shall not stop me from criticise your beliefs.

Friend,

We TRUE Christians have turned our lives over to Jesus. You criticize us, you criticize God.

God is not mocked friend.

[Ponderous]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

-7
(x5)
100-35=
65 / F

SEE ME

Overall, you have some serious work to do before you're ready to be sharing the written word in public. If English is not your first language, don't despair. It can be a tough language to master. A few more years of focused training and practice may get you to where you need to be to share the Word of God in a written format. For now, however, it might be better to stick with sign language or pointing at a Bible until you get the hang of it.

Anointed By The Blood Of Jesus,
Harry Lester

P.s.
Absolutely BRILLIANT sermon/post, Brother BAB! I will be sharing this with all of my young friends and neighbors!

Thank you for response. Yes, my english is a bit rusty. But this shall not stop me from criticise your beliefs.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Do you know how retarded you sounded? <-(is the extra past tense suffix really needed here?) ''2+2=5 If Jesus tells me so'' (when quoting, be sure to use original capitalization. Also note that titles should follow basic capitalization rules that you chose to ignore when altering the author's text in this case.)
You might fall (in) (proper prepositions can be tough, can't they?) to the trap of ('the' or 'The' would both be acceptable modifiers here) Antichrist with that blind and dim-witted a(t)titude (watch that spelling) of yours.

-7
(x5)
100-35=
65 / F

SEE ME

Overall, you have some serious work to do before you're ready to be sharing the written word in public. Making that many mistakes in just three sentences qualifies as uniquely bad. If English is not your first language, don't despair. It can be a tough language to master. A few more years of focused training and practice may get you to where you need to be to share the Word of God in a written (or possibly even spoken) format. For now, it might be better to stick with sign language or humming and pointing at a Bible until you get the hang of it.

Anointed By The Blood Of Jesus,
Harry Lester

P.s.
Absolutely BRILLIANT sermon/post, Brother BAB! I will be sharing this with all of my young friends and neighbors!

[Born Again Bob]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Do you know how retarded you sounded? ''2+2=5 If Jesus tells me so''

Dear Friend,

Don't care. I'd rather be dumb and Saved(tm) than smart and damned.

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Ponderous]

Re: 2+2=5 if Jesus Tells Me So

Dear Friends,

God is very clear. “You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3. Those who fail to comply with this First Commandment will be “utterly destroyed.” Exodus 22:20.

You can't be devoted to God and Baal, Jesus and Zeus, the Holy Spirit and the Great Spirit. "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." Matthew 6:24.

For that same reason, anyone who puts logic, experience, common sense, ethics or anything else above the Word of God is a cursed idolater. To subject the Bible to any sort of test is in and of itself to turn the criteria of that test into a false god "before" the Living God. Let's start with logic.

LOGIC IS A FALSE GOD
The most basic logical proposition is the principle of identity, A=A. The plain text of the Bible is full of logical contradictions. Ahaziah was 22 and 42 years old when he began to rule. 2 Kings 8:26 and 2 Chronicles 22:2. Saul's daughter Micah had no children, but she also had five sons. 2 Samuel 6:23 and 2 Samuel 21:8. The very last words of Jesus were both, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit" and "It is finished." Luke 23:46 and John 19:30 . God does not repent, but he does repent. Num. 23:19 and Ex. 32:14. And on and on.

If I were a worshipper of the false God of logic, the principle of identity would box me in.

I could claim that these seeming contradictions are not really contradictions when squinted at in a certain light, and assuming things that are nowhere stated, and assuming other things that no disinterested observer in her right mind would ever believe. In short, I could be intellectually dishonest and fudge the results. The result is being faithless to two masters (logic and God) instead of just one.

But if, as a faithful worshipper of logic, I follow logic's inexorable operations, I would have to say that contradiction in the Bible implies the falsity of one of the Biblical premises in question. And once we start down this road, there is no stopping. I would have to start denying whole swathes of the Bible, preferring in each case my devotion to the golden calf of logic.

The True Christian™ does not have this dilemma. If the Bible affirms something, it is true, even if it contradicts something else that is also in the Bible. Illogical? Who cares? God will not be made to bow down before logic. I shatter your golden calf with my stone tablets.

EXPERIENCE AND COMMON SENSE ARE FALSE GODS
I believe in giants and unicorns. Numbers 13:33 and 23:22. I believe in dragons. Deuteronomy 32:33. I believe in behemoths and leviathans. Job 40 and 41. You say they're only fit for Trapper Keepers, but I know otherwise. The Bible tells me so.

I believe the value of pi is 3. 1 Kings 7:23. I don't care that this caused me to flunk geometry one year. The Bible tells me so.

I reject the idea that the Earth spins on any axis, or revolves around the sun...it moveth not. 1 Chronicles 16:32. And, of course, I reject the idea that Earth is a sphere...it has borders. Isaiah 11:12. I've seen all the space pictures and science films, read the science. Don't care. The Bible tells me so.

Think otherwise? You're worshipping science, mathematics, or the evidence of your senses, NOT GOD. And you will be utterly destroyed.

SECULAR ETHICS IS A FALSE GOD
My God would, and did:
* send bears to massacre 42 little children who made fun of a prophet's bald head. 2 Kings 2:23-24.
* lead his chosen people on the genocide of 12,000 men women and children. Joshua 8:25.
* harden Pharaoh's heart against letting the Isrealites go, and then smite Pharaoh for having a hard heart. Exodus, passim.
* command an old man to kill his only son as a blood sacrifice. Genesis 22.

If your God wouldn't, or didn't, you have put someone or something before the God of the Bible. And your reward will be fire and eternal darkness.

Yours in Him,
bab

Do you know how retarded you sounded? ''2+2=5 If Jesus tells me so''
You might fall to the trap of Antichrist with that blind and dim-witted atitude of yours.

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

God is very clear. “You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3. Those who fail to comply with this First Commandment will be “utterly destroyed.” Exodus 22:20.

You can't be devoted to God and Baal, Jesus and Zeus, the Holy Spirit and the Great Spirit. "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." Matthew 6:24.

For that same reason, anyone who puts logic, experience, common sense, ethics or anything else above the Word of God is a cursed idolater. To subject the Bible to any sort of test is in and of itself to turn the criteria of that test into a false god "before" the Living God. Let's start with logic.

LOGIC IS A FALSE GOD
The most basic logical proposition is the principle of identity, A=A. The plain text of the Bible is full of logical contradictions. Ahaziah was 22 and 42 years old when he began to rule. 2 Kings 8:26 and 2 Chronicles 22:2. Saul's daughter Micah had no children, but she also had five sons. 2 Samuel 6:23 and 2 Samuel 21:8. The very last words of Jesus were both, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit" and "It is finished." Luke 23:46 and John 19:30 . God does not repent, but he does repent. Num. 23:19 and Ex. 32:14. And on and on.

If I were a worshipper of the false God of logic, the principle of identity would box me in.

I could claim that these seeming contradictions are not really contradictions when squinted at in a certain light, and assuming things that are nowhere stated, and assuming other things that no disinterested observer in her right mind would ever believe. In short, I could be intellectually dishonest and fudge the results. The result is being faithless to two masters (logic and God) instead of just one.

But if, as a faithful worshipper of logic, I follow logic's inexorable operations, I would have to say that contradiction in the Bible implies the falsity of one of the Biblical premises in question. And once we start down this road, there is no stopping. I would have to start denying whole swathes of the Bible, preferring in each case my devotion to the golden calf of logic.

The True Christian™ does not have this dilemma. If the Bible affirms something, it is true, even if it contradicts something else that is also in the Bible. Illogical? Who cares? God will not be made to bow down before logic. I shatter your golden calf with my stone tablets.

EXPERIENCE AND COMMON SENSE ARE FALSE GODS
I believe in giants and unicorns. Numbers 13:33 and 23:22. I believe in dragons. Deuteronomy 32:33. I believe in behemoths and leviathans. Job 40 and 41. You say they're only fit for Trapper Keepers, but I know otherwise. The Bible tells me so.

I believe the value of pi is 3. 1 Kings 7:23. I don't care that this caused me to flunk geometry one year. The Bible tells me so.

I reject the idea that the Earth spins on any axis, or revolves around the sun...it moveth not. 1 Chronicles 16:32. And, of course, I reject the idea that Earth is a sphere...it has borders. Isaiah 11:12. I've seen all the space pictures and science films, read the science. Don't care. The Bible tells me so.

Think otherwise? You're worshipping science, mathematics, or the evidence of your senses, NOT GOD. And you will be utterly destroyed.

SECULAR ETHICS IS A FALSE GOD
My God would, and did:
* send bears to massacre 42 little children who made fun of a prophet's bald head. 2 Kings 2:23-24.
* lead his chosen people on the genocide of 12,000 men women and children. Joshua 8:25.
* harden Pharaoh's heart against letting the Isrealites go, and then smite Pharaoh for having a hard heart. Exodus, passim.
* command an old man to kill his only son as a blood sacrifice. Genesis 22.

If your God wouldn't, or didn't, you have put someone or something before the God of the Bible. And your reward will be fire and eternal darkness.

Yours in Him,
bab