Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

[4 Christ]

My Dad sics the dog on them and my grandmother sprays them with the bug spray and shouts, "I'm calling the cops on you polygamists perverts". I usually tell them that Joseph Smith is burning in Hell.

How do you deal with them when they come around spreading their lies? I know they are in town and I want to have a surprise ready for them. How do you dispatch those lying Mormon cultists and their propaganda?

Any suggestions?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

I just tell them I'm a Catholic, ask them if they'd like to come in and have a coffee-flavored beer and pray the rosary with me while dancing in their magic underwear. They don't come back.

This approach also works with Jehovah's Witlesses when you're out of buckshot.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

Any suggestions?

I’m just thinking out loud: as we all know moremonies (nomen est omen) are almost as greedy as joos, so…

[Zaiger]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

This is what i normally do, i invite them in and ask them to sit down. I inform them that i will hear their words if they stay for mine, they ALWAYS agree. I will then inform them that I do not tolerate liars in my hose and if they have accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. They once again will say yes. After they are done telling me their perverted view of our lord I ask them if they really accepted Jesus they would not be Mormon because "if you have Jesus in your hart there is no room for Joseph, his 12 wives and Macaroni the magic angel", come on folks you know i am right. Then i tell them i will kick that magic underwear right off their rears if they don't get off my property or repent.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

or repent.

There is an introduction forum HERE

[The Bright Beast]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

I just tell them I'm a Catholic, ask them if they'd like to come in and have a coffee-flavored beer and pray the rosary with me while dancing in their magic underwear. They don't come back.

This approach also works with Jehovah's Witlesses when you're out of buckshot.

That, Brother Enoch, makes me laugh! You could be one of the LORD's comedians in heaven.

[Kristin Marlow]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

Here's a Chick Tract that works, but there's not very many mormons around where I live.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

Here's a Chick Tract that works, but there's not very many mormons around where I live.

There are mormoons everywhere. Just look for the pair of zit-faced gay-looking boys with large square black plastic name tags on riding bikes up and down the street.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

talk about brainwashing! It's not a million miles away from the modulated sound data used in enhanced interrogation! I was horrified! I could never be a mormon!

__________________________________________________

@Kristin Marlow I'm sure I've seen that aunt hanging around outside a bondage parlour in Glasgow in the wee hours, and she was only thinking about it (becoming a mormon) — how sad.

But how wonderful is God!

NAHUM 3
3 The horseman lifteth vp both the bright sword, & the glittering speare, and there is a multitude of slaine, and a great number of carkeises: and there is none ende of their corpses: they stumble vpon their corpses,
4 Because of the multitude of the whoredomes of the wel-fauoured harlot, the mistresse of witchcrafts, that selleth nations through her whoredomes, and families through her witchcrafts.
©1611

Praise Him ! !

[Miss Christine]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

Ugh, some of these guys came by yesterday and I told them that unless they're bringing me a package or come bearing pizzas to get off my property.

[4 Christ]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

Anyone who doesn't believe in the divinity of Jesus should be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.

What happens when that polygamist horde tries to invade Freehold?

[Humongous]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

well, i'll usually huck a few handfuls of used kitty litter at them mormons.

[4 Christ]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

well, i'll usually huck a few handfuls of used kitty litter at them mormons.

You might want to get one of your cats a riled up and throw the cat in their face.

[Rev. Edward Clement]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

We had a couple of them mormoons come by the house a few years ago.

I quoted them this scripture:

John
14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Then, I told them that Joseph Smith is a lying, and decieving anti-christ that is not the way, and I further informed them that they are going to HELL as a result of following false-techings.

2 Thessalonians
1:8 In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: 1:9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;

I also told that in the area where I live-deep in the back woods-we tend to think that mormoons are a buch of witches sent by the devil, and that we obey the KJV 1611 to the letter.

Exodus
22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Well, you can imagine their surprise when I asked them if they wanted to see the Bar-B-Que pit that my great, great, great, grand pappy built back in the good ol' days. They suddenly had somehwere to be and we have not seen them in our area in years.

Praise Jesus!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons

please do not play this again - performer is obviously mad

Why do all these Mormons look like they've got head deformities????

gene .perturbations. produce cranial skeletal malformation

NOTICE the words "gene" and "perturbations" which together confirm the involvement of Satan in the manufacture of these (i.e. Mormon) freaks.