VooDoo Mocks Jesus

[Pastor Ezekiel]

As you all know, I hate satan. I hate him with all my heart and soul. And if you're like me, that means you hate those who carry out satan's will just as much. The VooDooists are probably the worst.

Now I know the bleeding-heart liberal atheists are going to accuse me of being a racist, just because I am anti-VooDoo. I want to state for the record that I am NOT a racist! Any True Christian(tm) who knows me will back me up. Why, every one of my servants are darkies of one kind or another! That should say something right there!

Back to the point: I hate the VooDooists because they worship satan while appearing to involve Jesus in their ooga-booga shenanigans. Just because they're all nigras, black as coal and all hopped up on nigger-weed, the liberals never dare to criticize them. I suspect that the Obama cabal protects them, being fellow travellers. The jigs all stick together you know.

[Holyfield]

Re: VooDoo Mocks Jesus

Voodoo is just an excuse for scaring women into having sex with black men.

http://d284656.u38.hosting.digiweb.ie/columnists/sw-irish-crime.php?aid=4050

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8063205.stm

http://www.sydsvenskan.se/sverige/article1465358/Voodoo-skramde-till-sex.html

When I was a child I thought that all nigras were like Uncle Tom. But now the extent of the Curse of Caanan gets clearer to me every day.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: VooDoo Mocks Jesus

Voodoo is just an excuse for scaring women into having sex with black men.

Even worse, friend, I have heard of voodoo being used to scare men into being used for sex by black men!

One time, while making the rounds on my Truck Stop Ministry©, I found myself in a truck stop men's room standing beside a tall, muscular black man. He started mumbling something under his breath, some sort of chant in a foreign language. I looked over, and he was stroking his engorged, massive . . . well, you can imagine.

He then shook some feathered thing at me and commanded me to go into the stall and bend over. I was aghast! But, knowing God wanted me to witness to men of all nations and all faiths -- even sodomitious demon-worshipers -- I did go into the stall to get him alone and gain his confidence.

Unlike the average trucker this voodoo priest usually encountered -- men without faith, easily taken in by his demons, then brutally sodomized in a bathroom stall -- he was dealing with a man of God. He thought his demons had control of me, but no! The good Lord was with me!

Not fifteen minutes later, I had turned the tables and had that voodoo priest bowing down before me, crying out the Lord's holy name as he received the Love of Jesus!

I ran into him about six months later. He told me that he now travels the country, ministering to men who need Jesus, using my methods. He referred to his "Truck Stop Ministry".

Naturally, I praised him for his selfless devotion to helping men find fulfillment in Christ, and told him that I would have no choice but to sue him for copyright infringement if he did not immediately cease and desist his unauthorized use of Truck Stop Ministry© and my patented Men's Room Prayer Towels.

He agreed to a small licensing fee.

And now you know how the Truck Stop Ministry© franchise came into being! And the danger of voodoo priests.

[Holyfield]

Re: VooDoo Mocks Jesus

Hallelujah! That was a most inspiring tale, Reverend. Stories like that one encourage people like me to widen their view of the missionary field. That black voodooist is a proof that when the love of Jesus runs deep, it is contagious. He must have been truly soaked with the Holy Spirit!