[Dr. Warren Wierdsbe]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

Disgusting pervert.

Please don't judge me so harshly, sister! I know I have a problem! I want to repent and not sin anymore! Can't we just get rid of this thread, as Godly as it is, so as not to have the harlot's picture here?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

How about marry her? Failing that stop lusting after women like you were a homer!

I thought you guys used "homer" to refer to gay men. Gay men don't lust after women.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

Folks, what I am about to describe to you may seem shocking and horrific and as such I suggest that all women and children close their browsers immediately and pray for our salvation. In my thirty plus years of broadcasting I have never witnessed such an insidious threat to America as Hannah Montana (who, I found out after several days of researching, isn't even from Montana). There is no doubt in my mind after seeing and hearing what I have this week that this Hannah Montana is the manifestation of Lucifer himself, using upbeat pop music to recruit 13 year old girls into a lifestyle of sin and evil. It was the perfect plan, too... until I foiled it.



My story starts early last week when an anonymous listener/hero going by the name "Tom" called my show to tip me off that when you play the song "Pumpin' up the Party" by Hannah Montana backwards you unlock satanic messages that encourage children to worship Satan. Reluctant at first I did as the listener asked and played the song in reverse-- what happened next was both shocking and terrifying. When the lines "Together we can make it flow/Thats what we'll do" are played backwards a demonic and menacing voice can clearly and distinctly be heard saying "Throw your God away/ and follow me/ the beast is your only savior/ six six six six six six six six six six six six six".

Upon hearing this horrific ballad I retreated to my private bathroom and hid in the handicapped stall for several hours until an intern was sent in to fetch me. After incapacitating him with a toilet plunger my producer and three security guards were called in and brought me back to my senses with elephant tranquilizers. With CD in hand I visited researchers of the demonic at Landover University. They were more than happy to take a look at the evidence I had brought in as their project of finding demons living within the celluloid rolls of Bambi cassette tapes had thus far proven futile in the 15 years that they had been undergoing their investigation.

"What we have here is a classic case of Satanic possession over a piece of popular music" said researcher Herald Timmons of Landover University. "Often times Satan will mask his teachings into popular music in reverse phonetics so the listener cannot pick up the message immediately, but once you have heard it, the message seeps into your subconscious."

Dr. Timmons also speculates that this discovery could shed new light on the growing witchcraft fad in America.

"This, teamed with Harry Potter and other Satanic media, could very well explain why so many children hate Jesus now-a-days. Satan loves to hide in music where parents have a difficult time protecting their children."



After spending some 48 consecutive hours studying the Hannah Montana CD researchers discovered another startling revelation: Hannah Montana's self-titled first album syncs perfectly with the 1976 documentary film "The Exorcist".

"When the CD is started at the same time as the film there is no debate that the two sync together perfectly, scene for scene. As someone that has studied demons and Satan for over 20 years now there is no doubt in my mind that Hannah Montana is being used as a vessel for Satan to bring anti-Christian messages to impressionable and stupid young girls. Like Reagan in The Exorcist, Hannah Montana is no longer in control of her actions and is a mouth piece for the dark lord himself. If these girls follow the messages that she is endorsing we could see a sharp increase in teen debauchery, such as teenage girls intentionally getting pregnant so they can abort the fetus and use in various satanic sexual acts."



In response to this breaking story Freehold, Iowa has ordered that all copies of Hannah Montana albums be burned in front of Landover Baptist Church on Sunday the 10th at 2:00pm. Additionally, a warrant has been put out within the town for Hannah Montana's arrest. While her capture alive will garner a hefty cash reward, townspeople are not discouraged from killing her if necessary.

She's a no-talent twit, but she's not Satanic.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

I thought you guys used "homer" to refer to gay men. Gay men don't lust after women.

Oooo...The KKK pastor got served!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

She's a no-talent twit, but she's not Satanic.

And cd players only spin one direction - how exactly are kids going to listen to her music backwards?

Even back in my day when we played LP's on turntables, the turntable motor only spun one direction - why would you want to risk damaging it by trying to make it turn backwards?

[Dr. Warren Wierdsbe]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

She's a no-talent twit, but she's not Satanic.

And cd players only spin one direction - how exactly are kids going to listen to her music backwards?

Even back in my day when we played LP's on turntables, the turntable motor only spun one direction - why would you want to risk damaging it by trying to make it turn backwards?

You are going to Hell in a Handbasket, I'll tell you that! I have my lust demon to deal with, but shoot, everyone with the brains God gave a goose knows that dancing is a sin!

And the fact that you printed that whore's picture again proves your Satanic affliliation!

[VictoryOS]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

She's a no-talent twit, but she's not Satanic.

I don't know if I can agree with you there. If she has no talent, how do you think she got where she is today? I'll tell you how - through the power of Satan. Don't go believing her daddy had anything to do with it. He only had one irritating hit song in the 90s and an irritating non-hit show a while back. I doubt he has much pull in the industry. Especially after he cut his mullet.

And cd players only spin one direction - how exactly are kids going to listen to her music backwards?

We're in the computer age now. Anything is possible now, especially if it's evil.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

Especially after he cut his mullet.

Forgive me JESUS, but I don't think I've seen a more handsome mullet before...well except on JESUS.

I know he is still going to Hell. It breaks my heart ......... my Achy Breaky Heart.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

I don't know if I can agree with you there. If she has no talent, how do you think she got where she is today?

Lots of people with no talent get rich in the entertainment business. A few examples:

Alec Baldwin
Britney Spears
Kirk Cameron
John Schneider
Jessica Simpson
the Olsen twins
John Travolta

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

Forgive me JESUS, but I don't think I've seen a more handsome mullet before...well except on JESUS.

I know he is still going to Hell. It breaks my heart ......... my Achy Breaky Heart.

mullets - ick

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

mullets - ick

unsaved scum - double ick


Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

[Marshall]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

I prefer a nice flat top or a fresh High and Tight personally.

[JennyD]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

I thought you guys used "homer" to refer to gay men. Gay men don't lust after women.

Don't you know ANYTHING?!

http://www.sexisforfags.com/

Just see what these fine young men have to say about Sex is for Fags:

Greg B.: "I joined Sex is for Fags after watching girls who put out turn my big brother into a major wuss. By learning to repress my urges, now I can to grow up and be what I always wanted: a prison guard or a priest."
Zach P.: "Premarital sex isn't worth it! You can catch AIDS, or cancer, or testicle weevils, or a bad body image or rickets. You know what IS worth it? Making love to Jesus. Because you can't knock Him up and He'll never ask what you're thinking – cuz He already knows!"
Tim R.: "I hate fags. Dude, I mean, dudes who can't stop touching their wangs? DUDE. So, like, I joined Sex Is For Fags because it IS. You won't catch me doing that – with dudes OR chicks. Well, at least not until I get my trust fund and start needing some serious tax deductions."

Oooo...The KKK pastor got served!

Perhaps if you'd joined Sex is for Fags, Mother Martian, you'd have . . . er . . .


never mind

[god_bashes_his_wife]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

I would make babies with hannah montana

hth

[Wide-Open]

Re: HANNAH MONTANA IS IN BED WITH LUCIFER

Friend, stop dreaming. I bet you never fornicated with a girlfriend who's name didn't end in .jpg.