Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian(tm) Children

[Pastor Ezekiel]

As you all know, atheists attack us every day because of our Faith in Christ Jesus. One of their favorite complaints is that "Christians have no sense of humor."

Well, I would like to put that particular lie to rest once and for all. I would ask that my congregation post some of their favorite jokes and funny stories fit to share with your family, so that all the world knows what a godly sense of humor looks like.

I'll start.

Q: Did you hear who won the Miss Poland beauty contest?
A: Nobody.

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the polacks thought they were leaving.

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a polack wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Q: Why don't they have any ice cubes in Poland?
A: They lost the recipe.

Q: What's brown and furry and wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polack National Forest Service.

Q: How did the Polack mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!

Q: How do you know you're in a polack neighborhood?
A: You see toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.


Praise Jesus, I can't wait to hear some of the little ones sharing jokes like these at Sunday School.

[HateTheSin]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Q: Did you hear who won the Miss Poland beauty contest?
A: Nobody.

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

Q: Why don't they have any ice cubes in Poland?
A: They lost the recipe.

Q: How did the Polack mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!

Q: How do you know you're in a polack neighborhood?
A: You see toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

These were especially hysterical.

I have a one!

Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window?
A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Q: What do you call a negroe with no arms or legs?
A: Trustworthy.

[BecauseIPolack (On Moderation)]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

If you want to make racist jokes, at least BASE THEM ON TRUTH.

Q: Did you hear who won the Miss Poland beauty contest?
A: Nobody.

Polish girls are different league than fat american chicks, everyone can cofirm that, that's why they say polish girls are so pretty ( foreigners opinion).

You're a weak scum who thinks those jokes are funny yet their sad. I'd break ***threats removed***. I hope you ***more threats removed***. I also wish ***even more threats removed*** your future daughters and i hope ***still more threats removed*** in misery too, your name and your generation shall never reproduce because only worse evil can happen.

@HateTheSin, you look like a ***insults removed***, why do you even comment, ***more insults removed***.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

If you want to make racist jokes, at least BASE THEM ON TRUTH.

Q: Did you hear who won the Miss Poland beauty contest?
A: Nobody.

Polish girls are different league than fat american chicks, everyone can cofirm that, that's why they say polish girls are so pretty ( foreigners opinion).

You're a weak scum who thinks those jokes are funny yet their sad. I'd break ***threats removed***. I hope you ***more threats removed***. I also wish ***even more threats removed*** your future daughters and i hope ***still more threats removed*** in misery too, your name and your generation shall never reproduce because only worse evil can happen.

@HateTheSin, you look like a ***insults removed***, why do you even comment, ***more insults removed***.

Well. This gives us one more thing to know about the polacks. They are rude and have no manners. Maybe polacks are worse than we thought.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Well. This gives us one more thing to know about the polacks. They are rude and have no manners. Maybe polacks are worse than we thought.

Dear Sister,

Of course they are. They were basically Russians with great potential, spoke the same language with a slight lisp, etc. But... they chose to be cat licks. Result: total depravity and degeneration. Best composer: sissy Chopin. Best scientist: uppity masculine Curie who presumably stole her results from her husband. Best export: the pope who chose evolution over Jesus. Favorite food: Ogórek konserwowy. Google it up.

Genesis 11:9
Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Edit: on second thoughts, don't. The dish looks like moldy tallywhackers. Not suitable for a Lady's eyes nor palate.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Favorite food: Ogórek konserwowy. Google it up.

For some years now, my country has been plagued with immigrant Polski builders. Look at the result:

[VictoryOS]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Oh my, what is it with polacks and tallywackers? I imagine their city skylines to look like a forst of phalluses. Anyway, back to the kneeslappers...

Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater? They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."

[HateTheSin]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

@HateTheSin, you look like a ***insults removed***, why do you even comment, ***more insults removed***.

I see that someone has politely blocked the insults you threw at me. Maybe you can attempt to re-shout them at me while I'm looking down at you from my place in the Kingdom watching you burn in hellfire.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

If you want to make racist jokes, at least BASE THEM ON TRUTH.

Q: Did you hear who won the Miss Poland beauty contest?
A: Nobody.

Polish girls are different league than fat american chicks, everyone can cofirm that, that's why they say polish girls are so pretty ( my polack opinion).

Then how do you explain the polack national anthem? Look at all these tubby polacks dancing to it.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Polacks just lack good common sense and the ability to read and comprehend the message. Just look at this one's introduction thread -- I kept on having to repeat myself. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=94578

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Clean Jokes to Teach Your True Christian™ Children

Q: What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A: A bus full of nigras and gooks going over a cliff.

Q: Where is the best place to hide a nigra's food stamps?
A: Under his work boots.

Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
A: It is not there.

Q: How does a nigress tell if she's pregnant?
A: When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

Q: How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
A: You ever try to take a rib from a nigra?

Q: What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
A: "I set WHO free?"

Q: What do you call a black person in a suit?
A: Defendant

Q: What did God say when he made the first nigra?
A: Oops! I burnt this one!

Q: What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?
A: Drop it, nigra