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There is one notable acception, however. My close friend and Brother in Christ, Shekelwise The Clown:
I will only use his stage name, since Shekelwise has warrants out for his arrest in 37 states, and I would hate to see Sheckelwise's lifelong dream of running a youth ministry from the back of his van fail on account of his true identity being compromised, alerting secular authorities to his whereabouts...
Shekelwise has been on the lamb for most of his adult life, finding refuge with kindly, trusting Christian families with lots of young children that he can minister to. Unlike his wicked clown brethren, Shekelwise is a good clown. He truly cares about the spiritual condition of our kids.
Shekelwise is a master balloon-animal artist. Gaze upon his work and marvel:
"Segmented worm with party hat and bowtie"
"Sea cucumber giving birth to twins"
Shekelwise is the obvious choice for your next True Christian birthday party. He has a biblically sound, no-nonsense approach to entertaining brats. He will not tolerate heckling, crying or long faces, as his knout would attest to if it could talk...which he claims it does, but I am skeptical.
Aside from being an awesome clown, he is also a first classclass inventor and entrepreneur. Ever played "pin the savior to the cross"? Well, you can credit Shekelwise for that one! He demands cash in advance for his services, and accepts neither personal check or credit card. He is not an untrusting clown, he just doesn't like to leave "paper trails".
If you are wondering what stake I have in all this...well, Shekelwise owes me several hundred dollars, and if he doesn't get a gig, and quick, the odds of me getting paid back are virtually nil! Help a Brother out! PM me for his contact info...mums the word!
PS: please advise your children to NEVER touch Shekelwise's foam nose! He had the tip of his real nose bitten off by an unruly mong at a secular birthday party years ago, and is real self conscious about it. It is best not to provoke him.
I will only use his stage name, since Shekelwise has warrants out for his arrest in 37 states, and I would hate to see Sheckelwise's lifelong dream of running a youth ministry from the back of his van fail on account of his true identity being compromised, alerting secular authorities to his whereabouts...
Shekelwise has been on the lamb for most of his adult life, finding refuge with kindly, trusting Christian families with lots of young children that he can minister to. Unlike his wicked clown brethren, Shekelwise is a good clown. He truly cares about the spiritual condition of our kids.
Shekelwise is a master balloon-animal artist. Gaze upon his work and marvel:
"Segmented worm with party hat and bowtie"
"Sea cucumber giving birth to twins"
Shekelwise is the obvious choice for your next True Christian birthday party. He has a biblically sound, no-nonsense approach to entertaining brats. He will not tolerate heckling, crying or long faces, as his knout would attest to if it could talk...which he claims it does, but I am skeptical.
Aside from being an awesome clown, he is also a first classclass inventor and entrepreneur. Ever played "pin the savior to the cross"? Well, you can credit Shekelwise for that one! He demands cash in advance for his services, and accepts neither personal check or credit card. He is not an untrusting clown, he just doesn't like to leave "paper trails".
If you are wondering what stake I have in all this...well, Shekelwise owes me several hundred dollars, and if he doesn't get a gig, and quick, the odds of me getting paid back are virtually nil! Help a Brother out! PM me for his contact info...mums the word!
PS: please advise your children to NEVER touch Shekelwise's foam nose! He had the tip of his real nose bitten off by an unruly mong at a secular birthday party years ago, and is real self conscious about it. It is best not to provoke him.
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