True Christian(TM) Children's Songs

[WWJDnow]

One dilemma every True Christian™ parent faces is finding children's songs that embody Biblical, rather than secular or fluffy-bunny "Christan," values. I've therefore started compiling a list of songs that are appropriate for our young Christian warriors. Feel free to add your own!

The itsy bitsy spider
Ran up the water spout
Down came Noah's flood
To wash the spider out
Forty days and forty nights
God made the rains to pour
Now the spider's dead and
His family's no more

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Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let Earth receive her King!
Bring forth Thy tribulation!
Let fly Thy conflagration!
The sinners will moan and scream
The sinners will moan and scream
The sinners, the sinners will moan and scream!

Joy to the world! The Savior reigns!
The Beast on Earth shall rise!
Storms, floods, and hurricanes
Bring forth their evil rains
Repeat the tortured cries
Repeat the tortured cries
Repeat, repeat the tortured cries!

Joy to the World, the Horsemen ride!
Destruction, death, and woe!
A thousand years of pain
The Devil has full reign
Till Antichrist shall fall
Till Antichrist shall fall
Till Anti, Antichrist shall fall!

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: True Christian™ Children's Songs

"O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation." (Psalms 95:1).

Hallelujah! Here are some absolutely delightful family-friendly lyrics I found on the Internet:


"Lake of Fire"
Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go to the lake of fire and fry
Won't see 'em again 'til the fourth of July

I knew a lady who came from Duluth
Bit by a dog with a rabid tooth
She went to her grave just a little too soon
Flew away howling on the yellow moon

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
Won't see 'em again 'til the fourth of July

People cry and people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find some place to rest their bones
While the angels and the devils try to make them their own

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
Won't see 'em again 'til the fourth of July



"Hand of the Almighty"
Oh, sinner, do not stray
From the straight and narrow way
For the Lord is surely watching what you do
If you approach the Devil’s den
Turn ’round don’t enter in
Lest the hand of the almighty fall on you.

He’ll mess you up (He’ll mess you up)
Yes, God will mess you up
If you dare to disobey His stern command.
He’ll mess you up (He’ll mess you up)
Don’t you know He’ll mess you up
So you better do some prayin’ while you can.

Long ago a man named Lot
Had a wife he thought was hot
But she could not stop her black and sinful ways.
You know it was her own damn fault
When God turned that bitch to salt.
That’s the way He used to work back in those days:

He messed ‘em up (He messed ‘em up)
He really messed ‘em up
When the people went and turned their backs on Him
He can mess you up (He’ll mess you up)
No doubt He’ll mess you up
Just like He messed the people up back then.

I used to have a friend named Ray
Who walked that evil way
He cursed and drank and broke his neighbor’s fence
You know Ray was full aware
That some sheep were over there
And he knew them in the Biblical sense.

God messed him up (He messed him up)
He went and messed Ray up
Went and paid him back for all his wicked sins.
He messed him up (He messed him up)
Messed that boy completely up
Now he’s married to a Presbyterian.