Discipline for the Unborn!

[Jean Poole]

Well, I should like to tell you, True Christian™ friends, that I am once again with child! God has mightily blessed us, and my husband's quiver is bursting to the seams with arrows!

My womb, according to the doctor, is now extremely thin thanks to my many Godly pregnancies. It is because of this that I can feel my baby kick at only 6 weeks! However, enough of this.

My question to you is, how do you discipline an unborn baby? The unrepentant thing is kicking me rigid, but with my poor, womanly, addled brains, I have no thoughts in my head! How might I deal with this sinful misbehavior?

[Osambo 08]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Well, I should like to tell you, True Christian™ friends, that I am once again with child! God has mightily blessed us, and my husband's quiver is bursting to the seams with arrows!

My womb, according to the doctor, is now extremely thin thanks to my many Godly pregnancies. It is because of this that I can feel my baby kick at only 6 weeks! However, enough of this.

My question to you is, how do you discipline an unborn baby? The unrepentant thing is kicking me rigid, but with my poor, womanly, addled brains, I have no thoughts in my head! How might I deal with this sinful misbehavior?

Oh God,the baby will remain ugly for the rest of its life. Thank the Lord for plastic surgery.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Well, I should like to tell you, True Christian™ friends, that I am once again with child! God has mightily blessed us, and my husband's quiver is bursting to the seams with arrows!

My womb, according to the doctor, is now extremely thin thanks to my many Godly pregnancies. It is because of this that I can feel my baby kick at only 6 weeks! However, enough of this.

My question to you is, how do you discipline an unborn baby? The unrepentant thing is kicking me rigid, but with my poor, womanly, addled brains, I have no thoughts in my head! How might I deal with this sinful misbehavior?

You don't discipline unborn babies. They are supposed to kick and move in utero.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Congratulations on Baby #21 Sister!!!!!

Can you put a speaker on your stomach blaring at full blast telling it was a bad child it is already?

Perhaps your Hubby can punch you in the stomach a few times or throw you down the stairs.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Jean Poole]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Perhaps your Hubby can punch you in the stomach a few times or throw you down the stairs.

He does this already. Yesterday I burnt his steak and he had to push me down three flights. I only hope I can do better.

Maybe Bill could get a loudspeaker and tell the baby it's being punished and THEN punch me in the stomach. Then the baby will definitely know it's his/her fault.

[Osambo 08]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

He does this already. Yesterday I burnt his steak and he had to push me down three flights. I only hope I can do better.

Maybe Bill could get a loudspeaker and tell the baby it's being punished and THEN punch me in the stomach. Then the baby will definitely know it's his/her fault.

Do you want your baby to become retarded?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Do you want your baby to become retarded?

We've already explained repeatedly why some children are born as tards. Use the search function already.

[Lithium]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

We've already explained repeatedly why some children are born as tards. Use the search function already.

kicking a pregnants womans stomach can lead to an natural abortion, or the child could get damaged or ...whatever it's just crazy !!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

kicking a pregnants womans stomach can lead to an natural abortion

There's nothing natural about abortion. Was your mother frightened by a spastic while pregnant with you, by any chance?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

For once I agee with Lieberal, punching and kicking doesn't work for teaching little soldiers for Christ in the first or second trimester. You shouldn't start corporal punishment until the third trimester, when the child has developed his or her pain nerves. Even if the child is misbehaving, it's undeveloped nerves and retard-like mind (at this early stage, all babies are stupid as retards) cannot comprehend corporal punishment at such a young, preborn age.

For the first six months, I recommend playing spoken-word versions of the KJV1611, mostly Old Testament stuff, at high volume through devices like these:

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Discipline for the Unborn!

Sister Jean, perhaps you could borrow the defibrillator that was used on our Godly VP Cheney today. Sending a shock through the little troublemaker will get his/her attention.

I know using remote shock collars on my children as they grew up was highly successful in turning them into the fine citizens they are today. Except for the occasional involuntary twitches they have had no noticeable aftereffects.

Well, I should like to tell you, True Christian™ friends, that I am once again with child! God has mightily blessed us, and my husband's quiver is bursting to the seams with arrows!

My womb, according to the doctor, is now extremely thin thanks to my many Godly pregnancies. It is because of this that I can feel my baby kick at only 6 weeks! However, enough of this.

My question to you is, how do you discipline an unborn baby? The unrepentant thing is kicking me rigid, but with my poor, womanly, addled brains, I have no thoughts in my head! How might I deal with this sinful misbehavior?