[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Homecoming

Praise Satan? Why a Pastor hasn't banned you yet can only be explained by the infinite patience of the Lord Jesus. I most certainly will NOT be visiting whatever link that is, at the peril of my Eternal Soul(tm). Luckily, any True Christian(tm) would be using Landover's patented AntiVirus software, designed to protect from eDemons, and therefore cannot be damned to hell thanks to you.

Beating the tar out of one's child (or wife) is not only allowed by the Bible, it is ENCOURAGED. For, lest we forget, it is through bruises that one repents, as the Holy King James Version Bible states. What sickular law states is of no consequence. Within Landover's boundaries, the LORD's Laws outweigh those of activist LIEberal judges. Praise!

[hellion]

Re: Homecoming

PRAISE SATAN!!! homecoming is NOT a satanic sex party. you don't even know what satanism truelly is. look it up: http://www.churchofsatan.com ---it's not what you think. so quit bad mouthing stuff that you don't even know what is. and i've been to homecoming. i didn't have sex or drink. neither did a lot of people there.
oh, and fyi: "beating the tar" out of your daughters is illegal in any state in the US. i feel really sorry for your daughters and i hope someone reports you...
-Satan-

[SUV]

Bless you, Brother Hatchet. Although "shades" seem a little too modern for my taste for this Great Man to be affecting, still, you can see those Severe, Disapproving eyes of his quite well.

Praying I have the strength to set the new batch of Christmas Eggnog aside long enough to have a Brimley Bowl of oatmeal 'cause,

"It's the Right thing to do!"

SUV

Thank you, Godly Sister Sue. Your tiara looks as lovely and sparkly as ever. Wilfred Brimley would need sunglasses if he were to stand before your radiance.

[eliot mayfield]

Judging by it's posts, i'd say it's entirely possible it's over 18 and in the 9th grade!

[Brother Temperance]

Oh Pastor Al age doesn't mean anything

It depends on the circumstances. Age alone may not mean anything, but clicking on the "I am over 18" button when you are not means you are a liar, and most likely a JEW to boot.

[Old Man Hatchet]

(And might I say as long as I'm here that your new long-stemmed pipe looks ever so Manly!!!)
SUV

Thank you, Godly Sister Sue. Your tiara looks as lovely and sparkly as ever. Wilfred Brimley would need sunglasses if he were to stand before your radiance.

[SUV]

Divine Retribution

Indeed, Brother Hatchet, how much did Sinful "Carrie" enjoy her prom after disregarding the teachings of her Religious Mother and JESUS?:



(And might I say as long as I'm here that your new long-stemmed pipe looks ever so Manly!!!)

SUV

[HelmsFan55]

Oh Pastor Al age doesn't mean anything

[Ixi]

Ummm....ok, I guess I'll go.

[HelmsFan55]

course you should Ixi go out and have fun. Landover Girls are no fun to be around anyways always agreeing with me and mad I win't let them be my slave.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

I'm in 9th grade, should I go to Homecoming?

Since you are not eighteen, you should GET OFF THIS BOARD RIGHT NOW!

[Ixi]

I'm in 9th grade, should I go to Homecoming?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Thank the LORD we have someone overseeing it. Apparently the Chastity Belts cannot function to their full potential if one were to writhe in an inappropriate manner.


They should add sides to these so that one could no longer ruin their innocence by accidentally swaying! There is no good reason why one should move side-to-side -- that motion was invented by the Homer community to ease the pain of fornicating!

[Old Man Hatchet]

GLORY!!!
Why we don't even let them swivel their hips when we have our GODLY Ho' downs here in Landover.

Indeed, Sister. You'll always notice me to the side of the dance floor at these events, never taking my eyes off the women's bodies to make certain they are not conducting themselves in a provocative manner.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

GLORY!!!

That is some sound and wise advice Brother Hatchet!! You are such a wonderful father!

Why we don't even let them swivel their hips when we have our GODLY Ho' downs here in Landover.