Proper Christian bathing

[Mr. Jingles]

Boys must be taught at an early age that it is NOT appropriate to apply & rub soap on their private parts. This opens the door to the sin of Onanism, plus it gives them the impression that they will have sex with their future wives for non-procreational reasons-i.e., to enjoy themselves, something Jesus hates.

If your boys are touching themselves while bathing, I recommend long sessions of KJB reading. Or, just whack them upside the head a few times.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

Boys must be taught at an early age that it is NOT appropriate to apply & rub soap on their private parts. This opens the door to the sin of Onanism, plus it gives them the impression that they will have sex with their future wives for non-procreational reasons-i.e., to enjoy themselves, something Jesus hates.

If your boys are touching themselves while bathing, I recommend long sessions of KJB reading. Or, just whack them upside the head a few times.

Amen sister! All True Christians(tm) should know that if a boy touches himself, even in the shower, he is a homersexural. So just shut up about it and accept the fact that you are going to burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY IF YOU TOUCH YOUR TALLYWACKER!! "Fantasizing" about the "body parts" of female sluts is never an excuse! Since a boy is touching a male unmentionable member, that makes him HOMERSEXURAL!

Or so my father, Pastor Lamentations Flint used to say.

[SamsonsBrother]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

That is why it is best to have a really good looking babysitter do all the bathing of young men! They can get all clean and have the babysitter do all that nasty work. It usually makes bath time go real quick, and the frequency of the bathing really increases. Then of course, the young man can bath the babysitter, so she won't have to touch her parts either. Even though he may find it quite disgusting, he can make sure every nook and cranny is clean and sanitary. If they are rushed for time, they can bath each other at the same time, it saves time, water and soap. Hot tubs are really good for this, the whole family can join in and get really clean. Cleanliness is next to Godliness you know! This type of bathing will create the most godly of familys, like at Landover Baptist Church. You can even multi-task, and perform baptisms at the same time. Then you get clean and holy at the same moment. It satisfies the need for proper hygiene and for fellowship, and weeds out the uncircumsized heathens.

[twinkie]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

I have no idea what kind of jungle chant was going on in that video. And I suppose I will have to replace my hard drive and change my IP address because you tricked me into visiting a terrorist website!

[Bob4God]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

I remember back in the good old days that my parents would simply dress me in a baggy pair of swimming trunks in the back yard and throw buckets of soapy water at me and spray me off with the garden hose. GOD bless them for saving me from myself at bath time!

When I was about 14 or 15 they said I could start bathing myself but only in cold water and a time limit of seven minutes.

[Lithium]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

they see the name of allah in every curl they see, that's not so difficult because curls always look the same
what a miracle !!!

*sarcasm

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

I think the best advice is to follow John Ashcroft's example. Soap up all of the chrome shower fixtures before you disrobe, so you aren't tempted into sin by your reflection.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Proper Christian bathing

they see the name of allah in every curl they see, that's not so difficult because curls always look the same
what a miracle !!!

*sarcasm

Amen friend! That is the first reasonable thing that you've said. The mudslimes are a ridiculous, superstitious mob, who believe in the most absurd things imaginable.

And I don't think they bathe, ever. I've heard they wash their hands in camel urine.


Thank God I'm a True Christian(tm).