[Brother Temperance]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.

Wait a second. You're suggesting that women should stop talking... as a punishment for their husbands? You think that, if his wife stopped talking, a man would be upset by that?

I'd respond to my husband taking off his belt by taking off the safety....

And once again, we see that you liberal/communist types see violence as the first resort in any situation.

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

I'd respond to my husband taking off his belt by taking off the safety....

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

If God wanted women to be Stepford wives, he should have programmed them that way.

[Lord Lucifer]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her? You sinners crack me up.
That's one of the most inspiredly idiotic things I've ever seen. It's like a symphony of stupidity. There are many differences between God and pork chops, but one of the most important is that pork chops do not tell you to fear them and that you shall have no other food before them. GOD does. I wonder how long you'll "spiritually survive" for in the Lake of Fire?

You know, I usualy am in quite a discussion with Brother Temperance. But I must say, hes so unbelievibly right here!

Good job Brother!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.

If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her?

Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

You could always tell him that you don't like those names and insist that he use the correct ones.

Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her? You sinners crack me up.

May I ask why? You don't eat only one kind of food, do you? Different foods offer different nutrients to your body. Different faiths offer different nutrients to your spirit.
Just as I could not physically survive for long if I fed my body only pork chops, I could not spiritually survive for long if I only fed my spirit from ony one faith tradition.

That's one of the most inspiredly idiotic things I've ever seen. It's like a symphony of stupidity. There are many differences between God and pork chops, but one of the most important is that pork chops do not tell you to fear them and that you shall have no other food before them. GOD does. I wonder how long you'll "spiritually survive" for in the Lake of Fire?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Perhaps SUV can help, what with her fondness for her Ezekiel 4:12 Dungbread?

......................NO!!!!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

Clear as the blue sky, skipper! This IS an education thread however, and Mother Glynndie's original diagram doesn't seem quite complete.

What inoffensive names can we use for Part D? It's important for True Christians™ to warn others of the punishments that await sinners in the afterlife, and this seems to be an vital point.

If you can try to recall that Part D is not a part to be used for relations (nor is Part B, mister! That's still sodomy!), then I see no reason not to try to give it a proper name.

Perhaps SUV can help, what with her fondness for her Ezekiel 4:12 Dungbread?

[The Adversary]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

For posting perversions in God's Favorite Forum, I am issuing you 42 infraction points!

This is not acceptable behavior. Future insistence upon posting filth will result in your posting privileges being suspended.

I hope this is clear.

Clear as the blue sky, skipper! This IS an education thread however, and Mother Glynndie's original diagram doesn't seem quite complete.

What inoffensive names can we use for Part D? It's important for True Christians™ to warn others of the punishments that await sinners in the afterlife, and this seems to be an vital point.

[The Adversary]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

After this tragedy that happened during the honeymoon of one of our brethren in England

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21611691-2,00.html

The pastors are thinking of banning electric blenders and steak knives as wedding gifts.

Oh great, now McDonald's are going to introduce a hot dog value meal called the McMahon. They jump on every bandwagon these days...

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

See, it's simplicity itself, and wouldn't even offend the most taciturn Puritan!

We have something similar to this written up as a hand out for the pastors to give to newlyweds. Sadly there have been some challenges. There have so far been a serious accidents involving a light socket, electric toaster, along with several ear and eye injuries.

After this tragedy that happened during the honeymoon of one of our brethren in England

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21611691-2,00.html

The pastors are thinking of banning electric blenders and steak knives as wedding gifts.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

I'm adding this chapter of the Christian sex manual separately, as it is more controversial:

Instructions on taking the express train to HELL:

Step One: Insert Tab A into Slot D.

Step Two: Repeat.


Fun fact for kids: What's Slot D? Hint: If it wasn't for Slot D, a prime ingredient of dungbread would not exist and the devil's horny little minions would have nowhere to poke sinners!

For posting perversions in God's Favorite Forum, I am issuing you 42 infraction points!

This is not acceptable behavior. Future insistence upon posting filth will result in your posting privileges being suspended.

I hope this is clear.

[The Adversary]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

I'm adding this chapter of the Christian sex manual separately, as it is more controversial:

Instructions on taking the express train to HELL:

Step One: Insert Tab A into Slot D.

Step Two: Repeat.


Fun fact for kids: What's Slot D? Hint: If it wasn't for Slot D, a prime ingredient of dungbread would not exist and the devil's horny little minions would have nowhere to poke sinners!

[The Adversary]

Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

That's IT, Mother Glynndie! Part A, B, or, C!

Brilliant as well as ladylike, Sister! Here's an example of how a Christian sex manual will read:

Instructions for safe sex:

Step One: Insert Tab A into Slot B.

Step Two: Repeat.

Instructions for making babies:

Step One: Insert Tab A into Slot C.

Step Two: Repeat.


See, it's simplicity itself, and wouldn't even offend the most taciturn Puritan!