[Brother Temperance]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Any god that would demand a piece of a newborn's body as a sign of the parent's loyalty does not deserve to be worshipped.

What about a father that would demand a piece of a grown man's body as a sign of a potential son-in-law's suitability? Obviously he doesn't deserve to be worshipped, but there's something pretty awesome about the idea all the same.
1 Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Wow. God obsesses over the privates of little boys.



Are you SURE he's not batting for the other team?

^_____^

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

What about a father that would demand a piece of a grown man's body as a sign of a potential son-in-law's suitability? Obviously he doesn't deserve to be worshipped, but there's something pretty awesome about the idea all the same.
1 Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

Anyone (divine or human) that demands that a person slice off body parts in order to prove their worth is vile.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Hmm, whom do I believe? Some hell-bound fairy or the Author of the Universe? Man, that's a tough one! Personally I trust my Lord and Saviour more than I trust you, a two-or-three-faced liar.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Hmm, whom do I believe? Some hell-bound fairy or the Author of the Universe who's obsessed with the privates of little boys? Man, that's a tough one! Personally I trust my Lord and Saviour more than I trust you, a two-or-three-faced liar.

Your choice.

I prefer to live in the real world though.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Then you'll enjoy Hell, since it is very real. I'm afraid it will be much more painful than you are anticipating....

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

I have to apologize, but I could not bring myself to read this (spiritually disturbing) thread. Is it too much for a Christian lady to ask that these animal-like unChristian choo choos be called "The Devil's Turtleneck"? I think this term will be less disturbing to fine Christian ladies, like the ones you'll find here at God's favorite church, yet Devil's Turtleneck should leave no doubt as to what we're talking about. Can I please get a second aye from another senior pastor?

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Then you'll enjoy Hell, since it is very real. I'm afraid it will be much more painful than you are anticipating....

Well miss "I-know-everything-because-I-read-a-book-written-by-a-bunch-of-snivvly-sissies," I guess you also know I'm an Atheist, and I don't believe in God, or Satan, or Jesus, or the Holy Ghost, OR any other diety.

I do not believe in Heaven, and I don't believe in Hell.

Therefore, your tactic of trying to use a fictional place that I don't believe in in order to scare me straight, will not work.

I have to apologize, but I could not bring myself to read this (spiritually disturbing) thread. Is it too much for a Christian lady to ask that these animal-like unChristian choo choos be called "The Devil's Turtleneck"? I think this term will be less disturbing to fine Christian ladies, like the ones you'll find here at God's favorite church, yet Devil's Turtleneck should leave no doubt as to what we're talking about. Can I please get a second aye from another senior pastor?

Agreed.

We'll call them by their medical terms.

The forskin of the penis.

And no need for a pastor, I'm "God" after all.

PRAISE ME!!!!!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Well miss "I-know-everything-because-I-read-a-book-written-by-a-bunch-of-snivvly-sissies," I guess you also know I'm an Atheist, and I don't believe in God, or Satan, or Jesus, or the Holy Ghost, OR any other diety.

I do not believe in Heaven, and I don't believe in Hell.

Therefore, your tactic of trying to use a fictional place that I don't believe in in order to scare me straight, will not work.



[/b]Agreed.

We'll call them by their medical terms.

PROFANITIES REMOVED

And no need for a pastor, I'm "God" after all.

PRAISE ME!!!!!

Dear Lord! I was going to assign you warning points for foul language, but what follows insures a speedy trip to Hell where you will surely become Satan's Party Ewe!

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Dear Lord! I was going to assign you warning points for foul language, but what follows insures a speedy trip to Hell where you will surely become Satan's Party Ewe!

Again.

Satan doesn't exist.

Hell doesn't exist.

I have no fear when being threatened with places and people that don't exist.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

Again.

Satan doesn't exist.

Hell doesn't exist.

I have no fear when being threatened with places and people that don't exist.

You are free to fear or not fear anything that you like. However, while you are a guest on this godly forum, you will behave yourself, watch your filthy mouth, and refrain from posting filth. If you can't do that, then you will be booted out. Praise Jesus.

You have chosen satan over Christ our Lord. I'm glad I'm not you.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

You are free to fear or not fear anything that you like. However, while you are a guest on this godly forum, you will behave yourself, watch your filthy mouth, and refrain from posting filth. If you can't do that, then you will be booted out. Praise Je-Zeus.

You have chosen Satan over Christ our Lord. I'm glad I'm not you.

First off, I'm a Member here. That's how forums work. You become a member of the community.

How'd you learn to read?

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SATAN.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CHRIST.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD.

I can't worship something I don't BELIEVE in.

And what's so filthy about the proper names of body parts?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

First off, I'm a Member here. That's how forums work. You become a member of the community.

No, you're under investigation. You may eventually become a member of this community if you accept Christ, but it doesn't happen automatically.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

No, you're under investigation. You may eventually become a member of this community if you accept Christ, but it doesn't happen automatically.

I do accept christ!

I accept that he's a fairy tale held onto by you delusional troo chris-chins.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Tallywhacker Slicing Down

I do accept christ!

Well that IS good news. The next step would be for you to stop spewing hatred in this forum, and also to Tithe 30% of your net worth. Click on that shiny Paypal button at the bottom of this page and we'll get you all set up.