Dangerous Desserts

[Old Man Hatchet]

Common sense mandates that one shouldn't allow children to consume popsicles and ice cream served in cones; however, women do not possess common sense. Since they are responsible for raising America's children, I'll spell it out.

Sucking a popsicle simulates the act of fellatio. It turns young girls into trollops and transforms little boys into raging homosexuals. Licking ice cream in a cone simulates fellatio as well. There is additional risk if the ice cream is chocolate. It is a proven fact that chocolate ice cream promotes Negro lust. It is also irrefutable that ice cream is a gateway food to prostitution and orgies.




Ladies, do not let your children be seduced by these lewd and Satanic treats. Their future, and indeed the future of our great nation, depends upon it.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

this claim is so outlandish I would like to see some relevant teachings.

[Brother V]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

this claim is so outlandish I would like to see some relevant teachings.

Dear friend, guy...

Old Man Hatchet got his name for a reason...

I don't want to speak for him, but I'm pretty sure he's referring to soft serve ice cream, and ice cream served on a cone. The kind served at Dairy QUEEN
!!!
Ice cream in a bowl probably doesn't lead to homerism.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

Dear friend, guy...

Old Man Hatchet got his name for a reason...

I don't want to speak for him, but I'm pretty sure he's referring to soft serve ice cream, and ice cream served on a cone. The kind served at Dairy QUEEN
!!!
Ice cream in a bowl probably doesn't lead to homerism.

Thank you for coming to my defense, good Brother V. I have to admit that I have some qualms about ice cream served in a bowl. Chocolate may instill Negro lust. Strawberry and some of the other more exotic flavors can be too much for a child's delicate senses and make him or her agitated and lusty. I strongly suggest vanilla under the supervision of a responsible adult.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

this claim is so outlandish I would like to see some relevant teachings.

The only thing outlandish in this thread is your insolence, young man. You WILL pray to Jesus for more faith and humility.

[Brother V]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

The only thing outlandish in this thread is your insolence, young man. You WILL pray to Jesus for more faith and humility.

Now OMH, remember back when you were a young boy and on fire for Jesus. I'm not saying that "guy" is correct; he may just be overly exhuberent.

I'm sure someday this little thread will be the stuff of jokes around one of our church's ice cream socials.

YIC
V

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

... I'm pretty sure he's referring to soft serve ice cream, and ice cream served on a cone. The kind served at Dairy QUEEN!!!

Ice cream in a bowl probably doesn't lead to homerism ...

I think there is truth to this, Brother V, after all, everybody knows that soft-serve Dairy Queen ice cream is homer ice cream!

Is there any end to the depravity surrounding us our culture today? We need to be more careful about the sort of things we put in our mouths, after all, they say we are what we eat

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

Common sense mandates that one shouldn't allow children to consume popsicles and ice cream served in cones; however, women do not possess common sense. Since they are responsible for raising America's children, I'll spell it out.

Sucking a popsicle simulates the act of fellatio. It turns young girls into trollops and transforms little boys into raging homosexuals. Licking ice cream in a cone simulates fellatio as well. There is additional risk if the ice cream is chocolate. It is a proven fact that chocolate ice cream promotes Negro lust. It is also irrefutable that ice cream is a gateway food to prostitution and orgies.




Ladies, do not let your children be seduced by these lewd and Satanic treats. Their future, and indeed the future of our great nation, depends upon it.

I believe apologies are in order , OMH. So shocked was I over the hitherto secret sexual agenda of ice cream that I must have gone into shock and refused to believe what was right on front of my eyes for all to see.

To see children and adults slurping, licking and sucking with such gusto on flavoured confectionaries demonstrates that their minds have been distracted from the love and worship of Jesus, and who wants that more than anyone but Satan himself?

Rudimentary investigations revealed that not only are you correct, OMH, but the insidious infiltration of Euro-Fag ice cream into everyday life is more dangerous than any of us ever suspected.

Its insidious and pervertedly evil influence , not just on children but on unwary adults as well, can be illustrated only too clearly in the variety of ingredients and flavours that ice cream can be purchased in, especially, as Old Man Hatchet has pointed out, the promotion of infantile negro lust and homer-sexual brainwashing that is the evil agenda of ice cream manufacturers worldwide.

Ice cream does indeed promote homer sexual inflagration. I have it on good authority that the Gay pride flag design with its rainbow of colours was inspired by its militant fag creators from looking at all the colourful flavours available behind glass in a 'Gelato' shop (Euro-fag for ice-cream). The fact that these 'Gelato' (anal 'Gel' lubricant is an abbreviated form of this word) are found within close proximity of Cafes and their gay patrons only proves this, and anyone who has read my post on coffee and fagspeak will understand where I am coming from here.
Flavours such as Chocolate encourage not just negro-lust but faeces eating as well. Other flavours like neopolitan (3 way sex orgies), butterscotch (kilt wearing bearded 'man-bear' anal lubricant), any fruit flavoured or openly 'gay' flavours such as strawberry, kiwifruit and pistachio-nut are coded fagspeak for varieties of gay sex and are to be avoided at all costs by the True Christian. The only flavour Jesus approves of is good old hetero dairy based vanilla - low fat varieties and non-dairy alternatives are just about as gay as a necklace of pink sparkling butt plugs, and have been known to have been substituted for anal lubricants with regularity by both bull and sissy queers alike.
Old Man Hatchet , thankyou for opening our eyes to this sweet frozen menace threatening our children and Our christian families. The devil takes many forms which are appealing to those of weak mind and will. Be on the alert for other gay foods which may be available in your neighbourhood, and alert your Christian brothers and sisters when you find them.
Yours in Christ
Brother Guy

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

I believe apologies are in order , OMH. So shocked was I over the hitherto secret sexual agenda of ice cream that I must have gone into shock and refused to believe what was right on front of my eyes for all to see.

The sexual agenda of ice cream manufacturers isn't as secret as you think. You can't get more overt than this:



Utterly sickening and deplorable. The pedophiles at Breyers will be assuming similar positions in Hell to receive enormous, barbed, demonic tallywackers for all of eternity.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

The sexual agenda of ice cream manufacturers isn't as secret as you think. You can't get more overt than this:



Utterly sickening and deplorable. The pedophiles at Breyers will be assuming similar positions in Hell to receive enormous, barbed, demonic tallywackers for all of eternity.

I've never seen anything more outrageous in my life.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

I've never seen anything more outrageous in my life.

but i did find this
"The Breyers team wants to assure you that the above advertisement is a fake and Breyers had absolutely nothing to do with its creation or its posting on the internet. In fact, neither USA Gymnastics, Breyers, Creamsicle nor any of the brands that are part of Unilever Ice Cream had any knowledge of the fake advertisement until it was brought to our attention by our consumers. Please be assured that we are as offended by the false advertisement as you are and we are making every effort to see that it is removed from the internet as soon as possible."


Much relieved, Brother Guy.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

but i did find this
"The Breyers team wants to assure you that the above advertisement is a fake and Breyers had absolutely nothing to do with its creation or its posting on the internet. In fact, neither USA Gymnastics, Breyers, Creamsicle nor any of the brands that are part of Unilever Ice Cream had any knowledge of the fake advertisement until it was brought to our attention by our consumers. Please be assured that we are as offended by the false advertisement as you are and we are making every effort to see that it is removed from the internet as soon as possible."
Much relieved, Brother Guy.

Sounds like back peddling to me.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Popsicles and Ice Cream

Thank you for coming to my defense, good Brother V. I have to admit that I have some qualms about ice cream served in a bowl. Chocolate may instill Negro lust. Strawberry and some of the other more exotic flavors can be too much for a child's delicate senses and make him or her agitated and lusty. I strongly suggest vanilla under the supervision of a responsible adult.

Ordinary I would agree with you Brother OMH, but a recent experience leaves me reticent to endorse such a practice.

I have for years given the family cats the occasional treat of a small bowl of milk or cream. They seemed to love it. Recently I have noticed that they have begun to attack the bowl with an unusual amount of enthusiasm, with their puckered lips and pink little tongues furiously lapping, darting, swirling, licking, and plunging into it with a frantic, insatiable abandon. They then would disappear for hours at a time. Curious one day, I tracked them down to the bedroom and snapped the following picture:



This is shocking and disgusting to say the least. But if you have any doubts about the liebral homer agenda today (and the real reason behind the dairy industry's "Got Milk?" propaganda campaign), take a look at the fine print on any container of milk or cream:

Homogenized

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Dangerous Desserts

I know I can be a bit of a prude at times, but I sure wouldn't want to be caught eating a chocolate covered banana in front of HIM (you know - Jesus). Perhaps one of our Godly Ex-Negro men might offer this gal some religious counseling?