Underoos

[Old Man Hatchet]

I visitied my daughter yesterday evening and performed my routine sin inspection, rummaging through closets and rifling through drawers. I came across a pair of Supergirl Underoos in my granddaughter's underthings drawer. Naturally I beat my daughter and granddaughter for this outrage and confiscated the vile underclothes.



Brethren, Underoos combine popular characters from the world of children's entertainment with underwear. It's an unholy union. Superman, The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman, He-Man, C-3PO, and Batman are just a few of the Godless characters that can be found on these despicable undies.



A child wearing Underoos becomes unruly and excited; consequently, the child makes a sick association between underwear and excitement for the rest of his or her life. Underoos teach children that underwear is fun. They are a gateway garment to leather, crotchless, and edible panties. Additionally, children may develop a fetish for the character which adorns their skivvies, becoming aroused by, say, Scooby-Doo or Aquaman.

Do not allow your children to wear Underoos, friends, lest they grow up to be like these "super" perverts:

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Underoos

I visitied my daughter yesterday evening and performed my routine sin inspection, rummaging through closets and rifling through drawers. I came across a pair of Supergirl Underoos in my granddaughter's underthings drawer. Naturally I beat my daughter and granddaughter for this outrage and confiscated the vile underclothes ...

Oh this is not good news, OMH! I know my Godly son-in-law would slap me upside the head if he caught me wearing something sinful like that!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Underoos

Your tragic story has compelled me to take a break from my Christmas baking and spend some time behind the sewing machine making my new Landover Baptist Church Underoos. GLORY!

[Marshall]

Re: Underoos

I completely agree Brother Hatchet. Those can only lead to Homerism or an overcharged libido.

These I can understand.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Underoos

I would have thought people like yourselves would like underoos? They do, after all, cover more than your average set of underwear.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Underoos

I prefer the type made in America, with our Savior's image emblazoned upon the front. Quite comfy too.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Underoos

I would have thought people like yourselves would like underoos? They do, after all, cover more than your average set of underwear.

A child wearing Underoos becomes unruly and excited; consequently, the child makes a sick association between underwear and excitement for the rest of his or her life. Underoos teach children that underwear is fun. They are a gateway garment to leather, crotchless, and edible panties. Additionally, children may develop a fetish for the character which adorns their skivvies, becoming aroused by, say, Scooby-Doo or Aquaman.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Underoos

Indeed Brother Hatchet,

This little homer clearly has an underwear fettish already.



I fear he will grow up to be like THIS.



Or THIS



These underwear are indeed a threat to our True Christian™ children. Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention.


A VERY concerned, Sister Thumper

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Underoos

One day you're wearing these Satanic children's underwear and the next you're joining up with the Mormons and their horrific devil-worshiping cult of underwear.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Underoos

I completely agree Brother Hatchet. Those can only lead to Homerism or an overcharged libido.

These I can understand.

I AVERT MINE EYES, OH LORD! THESE ARE THE SIN-DERWEAR of the MORONS who believe they are bulletproof while wearing them.

God in Heaven, never post anything like that again! Moron underwear. UGHHHH!

[Talitha]

Re: Underoos

I must admit to having had quite a problem viewing this page with my eyes shut.
Praise Jesus I can put my Post here without actually seeing what's been written. I can only imagine the depravity
Well, actually, NO I CAN'T but I think It's disgusting anyway.
It's bad enough having to review new Books and Films with my eyes closed but I never realised such filth would appear on "Jesus' favourite Forum".

I'm glad It's our Men who have the duty of checking townsfolk are wearing proper Under things.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Underoos

I must admit to having had quite a problem viewing this page with my eyes shut.
Praise Jesus I can put my Post here without actually seeing what's been written. I can only imagine the depravity
Well, actually, NO I CAN'T but I think It's disgusting anyway.
It's bad enough having to review new Books and Films with my eyes closed but I never realised such filth would appear on "Jesus' favourite Forum".

I'm glad It's our Men who have the duty of checking townsfolk are wearing proper Under things.

Yes, it is awful, but someone has to do it. I don't recall YOU stopping at any of our checkpoints recently. I suppose it is time to do another search. As policy requires, there must be another female in the room while I am searching you. Bring that nice girl that came with you last time, ok?

[Talitha]

Re: Underoos

Yes, it is awful, but someone has to do it. I don't recall YOU stopping at any of our checkpoints recently. I suppose it is time to do another search. As policy requires, there must be another female in the room while I am searching you. Bring that nice girl that came with you last time, ok?

If you call yesterday not being recent then of course you can do an inspection dear Pastor.

By the way, that wasn't a girl.
I was escorting a Drag Queen out of town after Pastor Bobby Joe had finished Ministering IT.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Underoos

If you call yesterday not being recent then of course you can do an inspection dear Pastor.

By the way, that wasn't a girl.
I was escorting a Drag Queen out of town after Pastor Bobby Joe had finished Ministering IT.

Ha Ha Ha! Dear Sister Talitha, always the little kidder! Just stop by my office, dear. I'll have nurse Ratchet in attendance.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Underoos

Friends, I am utterly exhausted from researching Underoos. I just want to add that I noticed the phrase "heat resistant wasitband" on the back of the packaging. What sort of lewd, immoral, friction-based activity did the manufacturers have in mind when they designed these things?



Children who wear Underoos will discover that the underwear does very little in the way of resisting heat in the fiery pits of Hell.