[Jo Freddie]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Couple of points.

Should sex be fun?
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

I'll take that as a yes then God.

Subordination of women
Ponderance of thy Balls

For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land. For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Daughters are worthless? You're the first person to officially enter my 'absolute piece of shit' list. Why did Jesus give kindly instructions to women? Why did he speak kindly to the Samaritan woman at the well and not slap her? Why did he give over the care of his mother to his beloved disciple on the cross, if he did not care for women? Why do we never ever hear of Jesus or any of the disciples beating a woman, in ALL of the New Testament? Why does Jesus SAVE an adulterous woman from stoning, when you encourage BEATING her to have a son? Why do you follow the Old Testament when the True Light is found in the New Testament, and Jesus obviously did away with and improved on the laws in the Old Testament, for instance, he promoted forgiveness and repentance instead of execution by stoning to the adulterous woman?

I think you are everything Jesus tried to put an end to, maybe not entirely, but a goodly portion along the way. The way others here hanker to your words tells me you have brainwashed them with your presence, and allowed that to overshadow the words of the New Testament.

What sort of Judgment will you have at the hands of Jesus? If you tremble now, it won't be good. But, I'm sure you don't.

Take care, be well,

sas

Lets just cut through the carp that you posted and get to the real problem. You seem to be missing the big picture, the Bible has two parts the Old and New testament. We just love you fluffy bunny Christians, you think the Bible is like a giant cafeteria where you can pick and choose what you want to follow. Oh I will just have desert today, no meat and potatoes for me. Jesus did not come here to scrap His fathers work, He came to inforce it!

Behold the wors from Jesus.
Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
Matthew 5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.


Now go sit yourself down in a corner and repent!

[self_abusing_sinner]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Daughters are worthless? You're the first person to officially enter my 'absolute piece of shit' list. Why did Jesus give kindly instructions to women? Why did he speak kindly to the Samaritan woman at the well and not slap her? Why did he give over the care of his mother to his beloved disciple on the cross, if he did not care for women? Why do we never ever hear of Jesus or any of the disciples beating a woman, in ALL of the New Testament? Why does Jesus SAVE an adulterous woman from stoning, when you encourage BEATING her to have a son? Why do you follow the Old Testament when the True Light is found in the New Testament, and Jesus obviously did away with and improved on the laws in the Old Testament, for instance, he promoted forgiveness and repentance instead of execution by stoning to the adulterous woman?

I think you are everything Jesus tried to put an end to, maybe not entirely, but a goodly portion along the way. The way others here hanker to your words tells me you have brainwashed them with your presence, and allowed that to overshadow the words of the New Testament.

What sort of Judgment will you have at the hands of Jesus? If you tremble now, it won't be good. But, I'm sure you don't.

Take care, be well,

sas

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

I am glad to see you are suffering for The Lord. But are you sure you are praying enough? Having sex one time should be enough to get a child. And don't forget what I mentioned about her cycle.

Praying before and after, we are following a very strict cycle, 4 times a day until she is with child.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

I am glad to see you are suffering for The Lord. But are you sure you are praying enough? Having sex one time should be enough to get a child. And don't forget what I mentioned about her cycle.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Brother Cranky, I wouldn't say daughters are worthless, who else are our sons to marry?

That is a good point. I should have said daughters are almost worthless.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

God bless you, Brother Cranky! If only I'd have your advice when I was younger I may have had sons instead of daughters. Of course I accept God's punishment for my many sins, but I can't help but wonder whether just a little more, and earlier, beating in utero might have produced sons.

Still, I rejoice that the young True Christian(tm) men here have your wisdom to guide them.

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

I'll spend an extra hour in my prayer closet tonight, Brother James, thinking about and praying for you and Sister Phebe in your Godly duties. I know that He'll reward your efforts!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Of course there is. Sons are very valuable, daughters are worthless. What would be the point of only having a daughter?

Brother Cranky, I wouldn't say daughters are worthless, who else are our sons to marry?

And also don't leave town while your wife is giving birth! It hurts a lot so I hear and Im sure shed want someone to be there with her even if they are some creepy religiously confused freak.

I can tell from this quote that you have never had children. My husband was not there for any of the three times, my sister was there for one, and his aunt was there for the other two. Why would I want my husband there? All I've heard from couples where the husband was in the room is he got grossed out and she abused him for 5-25 hours.

[Tchoupitoulas]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Why do you think that? I never had sex with anyone but my wife and she was 18 when we got married.

The point is to beat the child to prevent it from going to hell. Beating the mother is just a side effect. God is very clear on this:

• Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
• Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Of course there is. Sons are very valuable, daughters are worthless. What would be the point of only having a daughter?

It's a good thing I'm not married to you. You would jhave to learn how to please me in bed if you ever wanted to engage in any baby-making activities, and the first time you swung a stick at me would be the last time you drew a breath.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

and wow... daughters are worthless.... aren't you the sexist supremacist! Im sure your daughters would love to hear that..

Why would anyone care what his daughters think about anything?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

And also don't leave town while your wife is giving birth! It hurts a lot so I hear and Im sure shed want someone to be there with her even if they are some creepy religiously confused freak.

You obviously didn't bother to read the scripture I provided.

Since you are too lazy to click on a link, I will do it for you. Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Childbirth being extremely painful is a punishment from God for all women because Eve sinned. This only involves women, so men should not be bothered with this.

[twocalmcows]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

and wow... daughters are worthless.... aren't you the sexist supremacist! Im sure your daughters would love to hear that..

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

If you're not both ENJOYING sex, you're not doing it right. TRust me, you're doing it ALL wrong.

You could not be more wrong. Sex is not supposed to be fun. It is something horrible we unfortunately have to endure to make children.

Sex being fun is an invention of satan to change women into whores and to lure both those women and the men they seduce into eternal damnation into the fires of hell.

[twocalmcows]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

And also don't leave town while your wife is giving birth! It hurts a lot so I hear and Im sure shed want someone to be there with her even if they are some creepy religiously confused freak.

Thanks again for being completely ridiculous!