All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Approximately half of the children from the western world's (the so called Christian world) end up in hell because their parents seem to hate them.

Studies show that roughly 40 percent of all children in the U.S. are born out of wedlock, while the numbers in Europe and Australia are around 50 percent.
But what does God really thinks about all you whore babies (also known as bastards), walking around his kingdom?

Maybe your first thought is this: "it's not my fault that my parents sinned." Think again.
In God's eyes you are just as much a sinner as your disgusting god forsaken parents.

Deuteronomy 23:2 (King James Version) A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Zechariah 9:6 (King James Version) . . . a bastard shall dwell in Ashdod, and I will cut off the pride of the Philistines.

Hebrewes 12:8 (King James Version) But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

bas·tard[bas-terd]
–noun 1. a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.

"I will punish my parents for the wrong they have done to me" might be a logically thought now you know this. But you’re wrong once again.
God’s going to punish your parents when their time comes, until then you have to obey Gods wish, and honor them; unmoved by your knowledge that they wish to see you burn in hell.

Exodus 20:12 (King James Version)
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

If you still “feel” this is all wrong, just remember that I am only the humble messenger of God’s word and we are not to understand thought of the mighty LORD:

Isaiah 55:8-9 (King James Version)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

PRAISE THE LORD

[Michelle1991]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

I sure am happy that my Caucasian parents were married before I was born.
(And what a super duper forum this is. I’m already making friends and learning a lot more than I ever did in my old public school)
God bless you, Salvation Believer!

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

I sure am happy that my Caucasian parents were married before I was born.
(And what a super duper forum this is. I’m already making friends and learning a lot more than I ever did in my old public school)
God bless you, Salvation Believer!

Hmmm, why do you unsaved negroes use all these terrible drugs. Have you looked in a mirror lately. If your parrents are caucasian you will for sure end up in hell, but you already know that - don't you?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.

Dear Sister Mary

As you know, I am a very sensitive man (in a very manly way) and it really makes me sad to see how many parents don't give a heck about their own children. We know for a fact that there's plenty of space in heaven and JESUS welcomes everyone who follows the scipture:

John 14:1-3 (King James Version)

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

Still we see this lack of faith in the LORD, and that's what bothers me. Why can't we make the Unsaved Trash give up the heathen thoughts and convince them that the blessings of True Christianity™ is the only way for them to find salvation? What are we doing wrong?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.

Yes, I must say that this was one benefit to having Mormons in the family. I just squeaked in with my 10th generation being a 1725 wedding. They may be catholics roasting in Hell, but at least they weren't bastards.

That being said, perhaps once the True Christian(TM) theocracy is in place should we neuter/spay bastards? It would be much kinder to future generations.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

That being said, perhaps once the True Christian™ theocracy is in place should we neuter/spay bastards? It would be much kinder to future generations.

I wouldn't worry about future generations. We're in End Times, so we'll be raptured any day now anyway!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

But if someone has not been married in a church but live as man and wife are they not married in the eyes of your imaginary friend?

Genesis 2
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

But if someone has not been married in a church but live as man and wife are they not married in the eyes of your imaginary friend?

Genesis 2
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Only a pirate would think that God wouldn't notice if we just pretend to be married. Genesis 2:25 is a very good example of the LORD'S will. He want us to be man and wife which means that we should get married.
Too much rum must have made you blind, when you chose to serve this evidence to us on a silver platter.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

Only a pirate would think that God wouldn't notice if we just pretend to be married. Genesis 2:25 is a very good example of the LORD'S will. He want us to be man and wife which means that we should get married.
Too much rum must have made you blind, when you chose to serve this evidence to us on a silver platter.

Who is pretending?
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Where does it say that they need to do more then that to be man and wife?

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

Who is pretending?
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Where does it say that they need to do more then that to be man and wife?

Malachi 2:14 (King James Version)


Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

cov·e·nant [kuhv-uh-nuhnt]

–noun

1. an agreement, usually formal, between two or more persons to do or not do something specified.

2. Law . an incidental clause in such an agreement.

3. Ecclesiastical . a solemn agreement between the members of a church to act together in harmony with the precepts of the gospel.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

Malachi 2:14 (King James Version)


Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Still no mention of church wedding, nothing to say that a man and a woman who make a covenant to be man and wife need to go through all the fuss and expense of church wedding. In fact that quote seems to say that the only witness they need is the LORD (blessed be His Noodly Appendages).

[shelanie]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

The Salvation Beliver, I think to much ego and hypocracy has made you blind to the truth that God is forgiving, and the truth is if you truly belive what you say then I have a feeling you will die and burn in hell for all eternity with the rest of us for being human and commiting sins

[Didymus Much]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

The Salvation Beliver, I think to much ego and hypocracy has made you blind to the truth that God is forgiving, and the truth is if you truly belive what you say then I have a feeling you will die and burn in hell for all eternity with the rest of us for being human and commiting sins

Hi, Shelanie, welcome to Landover. Just a couple of quick points:

1) If God is forgiving as you say (I'll leave it to someone else to hit you with a Wall of Scripture™ pointing out why you're wrong), then none of us will go to Hell (including The Salvation Believer, no matter what he thinks). Your post is illogical as it stands.

2) Please use spellcheck (ie. hypocrisy)

3) Please go to the Intro forum and make your own thread, so we know who we're talking to, why you hate Jesus, etc.

Thanks

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!!

Still no mention of church wedding, nothing to say that a man and a woman who make a covenant to be man and wife need to go through all the fuss and expense of church wedding. In fact that quote seems to say that the only witness they need is the LORD (blessed be His Noodly Appendages).

I never mentioned church and either does God when it comes to wedding - We are not hellbound catlicks who think that the only way to speak to the LORD is in church. One thing is for sure though - God must be our witness and with that in mind I can't think of a better place than a True Christian Church™ filled with True Christians™ to get married.
Even you - a drunk pirate - agrees that the LORD needs to be a witness as it is stated in Malachi 2:14, so I see no need to lecture you more on this subject. The truth is in the Bible.

The Salvation Beliver, I think to much ego and hypocracy has made you blind to the truth that God is forgiving, and the truth is if you truly belive what you say then I have a feeling you will die and burn in hell for all eternity with the rest of us for being human and commiting sins

What makes you say that God is forgiving?

Before making a bigger fool of yourself, take a look on the following verses. And I garantee you that there are plenty more verses that proves you wrong.

Leviticus 20:27
Leviticus 24:10
Jeremiah 48:10
Romans 1:24-32
Proverbs 20:20
2 Samuel 6:3-7
Jeremiah 51:20-26
Deuteronomy 13:7-12
Leviticus 20:10
2 Chronicles 15:12-13
Deuteronomy 17:12