[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

"Torture" would imply he was trying to get information from her as part of an enhanced interrogation, and I seriously doubt that was the case.

YiC,

Zech

[Fleur-de-lis]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Miscarriages do not just happen because pigs fall down. God forms each and every one of us with His Heavenly Hands. It is His Divine Will if a woman miscarries. For instance, before my ex-wife Ethel was stoned to death by vigilantes in my backyard, I had to waterboard her, put rats on her, amputate, and subject her to a variety of other disciplinary measures. Due to repeated failures of compliance, God caused her to miscarry.

You tortured a pregnant woman?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

A pregnant woman should not be in a pig pen! That sow could just as easily have knocked you down, and the fall could have caused you to miscarry.

Miscarriages do not just happen because pigs fall down. God forms each and every one of us with His Heavenly Hands. It is His Divine Will if a woman miscarries. For instance, before my ex-wife Ethel was stoned to death by vigilantes in my backyard, I had to waterboard her, put rats on her, amputate, and subject her to a variety of other disciplinary measures. Due to repeated failures of compliance, God caused her to miscarry.

[Fleur-de-lis]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Brother, are you suggesting F-d-L's mother was knocked down by a sow?

(Probably at Walmart, at a big sale.)

LOL - that was pretty funny.
But my mom did not grow up around livestock, and we prefer to shop at Target.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Or worse, born retarded.

YIC

Brother, are you suggesting F-d-L's mother was knocked down by a sow?

(Probably at Walmart, at a big sale.)

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

and the fall could have caused you to miscarry.

Or worse, born retarded.

YIC

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

A pregnant woman should not be in a pig pen! That sow could just as easily have knocked you down, and the fall could have caused you to miscarry.

Maybe but that would have been God's will.

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

YIC

Jack

[Fleur-de-lis]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Thank you for your nice post. Aaron said I should feel lucky that someone bothered to say something nice considering how much I whine and complain and that unless I was totally selfish I should at least thank you for taking the time to post. So thank you again.

As for the baby, I'm feeling better lately, except for my knee. One of the breed sows knocked me down in her pen when I picked up one of her piglets. It was the runt and Aaron had told me to get rid of it, but when I picked it up, it just looked so sad and cute that I was petting it and it snuggled up against me, but then the sow crashed into me and knocked me down, and I dropped the piglet and she stepped right on it.

I screamed and Aaron came running outside and he got really mad that I messed up something as easy as culling a runt. He told me to clean myself up and get him dinner. He threw the dead piglet into the manure pile.

A pregnant woman should not be in a pig pen! That sow could just as easily have knocked you down, and the fall could have caused you to miscarry.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

The lesson there is that God's conditional love is infinite!

YIC

It sounds to me like a great time to teach about Jesus separating the wheat from the chaff.

I was watching Schindlers List the other day with my children. When the Jews were taken out of the train they were made to line up and a nazi stood there with a stick and separated the saved from those that were going to the ovens. I explained to my children that this is what Jesus is going to do when He comes back. He will separate the saved from the damned just like the nazi with the stick.

My son Zebida asked whether they will line up and be separated again come judgement day? I said yes but this time they will all be sent to the oven because they did not accept Jesus as their savior.

Glory!

Jack8

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Those runt pigs make the best soup stock.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

The lesson there is that God's conditional love is infinite!

YIC

The parable of the shoulda bin throatcut runt.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

He told me to clean myself up and get him dinner. He threw the dead piglet into the manure pile.

The lesson there is that God's conditional love is infinite!

YIC

[Mrs. Naomi Portway]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Gosh...

I don't know if I'll ever have enough patience to be a True Christian™. You all just keep feeding these godless trolls, and they refuse to hear the Good News. Bless you all for trying to save them from burning for all eternity.

And... to all of you who just can't understand Gods Will. *sigh* I don't know what to say. When I read the KJV it is very clear to me. I am having a hard time understanding how people who think they are so smart can't understand simple English. I am honestly thinking that it may be a case of what I like to call "willful ignorance". You all don't want to know the truth - because you don't want the responsibility.

Mrs. Portway is obviously fulfilling her role. The Portways are obviously walking a True Christian™ path. Mrs. Portway is a young wife - she is going to need a heavy hand from time to time, but you know what? That is between God and Mr. Portway; and Mr. Portway and his obedient wife. If you don't understand - then pray for understanding. God can heal your stupidity.

I apologize to all of the True Christians™ here, if I'm coming off as needy or impatient. I came on this thread just to find out how the blessed pregnancy is coming along... and *uuuhg* the ignorance of the unsaved that I have to wade through is unsettling.

So, how is the pregnancy coming along? I hope Mrs. Portway isn't reading all of this trash talking. It isn't healthy for the baby.

And just a tip for the Daddy to be - I know from first hand experience that it can be difficult not to spare the rod when you see that disgustingly large belly and pathetic puss on their face. When my wife needed tending to - I would just give her a swift one in the shin - or something wicked to just about any part of the leg. The problem was - sometimes she would piss herself. You don't want that. I found, in the end, the best place to get her attention is the soft skin under the arm, below the arm-pit. You can grab a handful of flesh and have her on her toes faster than she can praise the Lord. If that causes her to piss - then she isn't even trying to hold it.

Before I figured out the soft flesh trick - I had to bring my wife outside in the grass to tune her up. She was ruining my hard-wood floors. The problem with bringing her outside (for me) was nosy, UN-Godly neighbors. I almost had to lump one of my neighbors up, because he stepped out of line like some of the folks ranting nonsense in this thread. Luckily, he called the police (like a coward) - and we have some God fearing men in blue in our village who understand that when a wife says she isn't going to press charges on her husband because God is watching and she would never disrespect her husband in such a way, that they better get back to the do-nut shop and let folks get on with a Godly Christian Life-style™.

God Bless the Happy Couple!

Thank you for your nice post. Aaron said I should feel lucky that someone bothered to say something nice considering how much I whine and complain and that unless I was totally selfish I should at least thank you for taking the time to post. So thank you again.

As for the baby, I'm feeling better lately, except for my knee. One of the breed sows knocked me down in her pen when I picked up one of her piglets. It was the runt and Aaron had told me to get rid of it, but when I picked it up, it just looked so sad and cute that I was petting it and it snuggled up against me, but then the sow crashed into me and knocked me down, and I dropped the piglet and she stepped right on it.

I screamed and Aaron came running outside and he got really mad that I messed up something as easy as culling a runt. He told me to clean myself up and get him dinner. He threw the dead piglet into the manure pile.

[Kenny Ray]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

Gosh...

I don't know if I'll ever have enough patience to be a True Christian™. You all just keep feeding these godless trolls, and they refuse to hear the Good News. Bless you all for trying to save them from burning for all eternity.

And... to all of you who just can't understand Gods Will. *sigh* I don't know what to say. When I read the KJV it is very clear to me. I am having a hard time understanding how people who think they are so smart can't understand simple English. I am honestly thinking that it may be a case of what I like to call "willful ignorance". You all don't want to know the truth - because you don't want the responsibility.

Mrs. Portway is obviously fulfilling her role. The Portways are obviously walking a True Christian™ path. Mrs. Portway is a young wife - she is going to need a heavy hand from time to time, but you know what? That is between God and Mr. Portway; and Mr. Portway and his obedient wife. If you don't understand - then pray for understanding. God can heal your stupidity.

I apologize to all of the True Christians™ here, if I'm coming off as needy or impatient. I came on this thread just to find out how the blessed pregnancy is coming along... and *uuuhg* the ignorance of the unsaved that I have to wade through is unsettling.

So, how is the pregnancy coming along? I hope Mrs. Portway isn't reading all of this trash talking. It isn't healthy for the baby.

And just a tip for the Daddy to be - I know from first hand experience that it can be difficult not to spare the rod when you see that disgustingly large belly and pathetic puss on their face. When my wife needed tending to - I would just give her a swift one in the shin - or something wicked to just about any part of the leg. The problem was - sometimes she would piss herself. You don't want that. I found, in the end, the best place to get her attention is the soft skin under the arm, below the arm-pit. You can grab a handful of flesh and have her on her toes faster than she can praise the Lord. If that causes her to piss - then she isn't even trying to hold it.

Before I figured out the soft flesh trick - I had to bring my wife outside in the grass to tune her up. She was ruining my hard-wood floors. The problem with bringing her outside (for me) was nosy, UN-Godly neighbors. I almost had to lump one of my neighbors up, because he stepped out of line like some of the folks ranting nonsense in this thread. Luckily, he called the police (like a coward) - and we have some God fearing men in blue in our village who understand that when a wife says she isn't going to press charges on her husband because God is watching and she would never disrespect her husband in such a way, that they better get back to the do-nut shop and let folks get on with a Godly Christian Life-style™.

God Bless the Happy Couple!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I think God gave me a baby.

i have read other threads where you people claim the world to be flat.

Oh, so all Christians are now "you people", eh?

You have never seen me claim the world to be flat. But I guess as a Christian, I'm one of "you people".

spanking children is illegal here. it is equal to assault.

That'd explain why little brats like you run around on your Mommy's computer saying vile things to strangers without fear of punishment.

you might not have said anything about dinosours and kangaroos, but i have read a topic where you people do just that.

"you people" again. Bigot.

well of course they are scared, they are scared of being beaten by cowards like yourself.

What women have I beaten?

And one more time,

And why do you assume that only the men flog the women in their S&M sex scenes? Haven't you ever heard of a "dominatrix"?