Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

[Bob4God]

My cousin, Gary, just got back from a mission trip to Africa, and he called me up last night to tell me all about it.

He was very excited, because during his mission trip he learned of an exciting, new True Christian solution for female masturbation: Infibulation.

Infibulation, he explained, is the removal of a woman's icky vagina lips and clitoris, for the express purpose of chastity, good sanitation, and improved aesthetics.

Once the procedure is complete, there is little of the vagina visible except for some skin, and a little hole that is courteously poked into the skin for the passage of waste and blood.

This will entirely remove any temptation the girl might have to pleasure herself, and her future husband can then have peace of mind of knowing that she is indeed a virgin when he is the first to rip the skin open on their wedding night.

Cousin Gary is making arrangements to have his six year-old daughter, Beth, infibulated as soon as possible. So far, he hasn't been able to find any hospitals offering to perform the procedure, so he is thinking about having the girl brought here to Freehold to have it done.

However, we have been unable to find any resources detailing the proper care and maintenance of a freshly cut cooter.

I am assuming that the removal of so many parts means that there is far less that can go wrong with the girl than if they were left intact to get dirty and stinky, but my cousin insists he is at least somewhat concerned about post-op infections.

If any True Christian medical experts would like to chime in on this matter, or if any of our farmers with experience in caring for livestock have any advice, I'd like to be able to pass along some of your useful care instructions to my cousin.

He is wanting to have this done by the end of the month, if at all possible.

Thanks!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

I am assuming that the removal of so many parts means that there is far less that can go wrong with the girl than if they were left intact to get dirty and stinky, but my cousin insists he is at least somewhat concerned about post-op infections.

Well I confess, I never have thought about it, but I don't know why your cousin would be concerned about post-op infections. Does he not truly and completely trust in the LORD? Is his daughter a spiritual liability in any way? I can certainly keep her in my prayers!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

Clearly, women are extremely prone to sin, which is what makes this operation necessary. Therefore it stands to reason that God would punish these sinful women with post op infections. This of course means that we should encourage this infection to spread and increase the woman's anguish in any way possible. After all, God demands that women suffer.

Genesis 3:16

King James Version (KJV)

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Have you considered putting hot sauce on her mutilated genitalia?

Remember, the Bible tells us that suffering is good, because it motivates us to obey God.

Psalm 119:67

King James Version (KJV)

67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

Make sure you don't leave those discarded cooter flaps just sitting around: the catlicks will dry them out and use them for communion wafers.



YiC,

Zech

[Bob4God]

Re: Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

Have you considered putting hot sauce on her mutilated genitalia?

Remember, the Bible tells us that suffering is good, because it motivates us to obey God.

What a brilliant idea, brother!

When my cousin arrives in Freehold with his daughter, I will provide him a bottle of my favorite Louisiana hot sauce.

We will apply the hot sauce to Beth's bleeding vagina, and if GOD wills that it should prevent an infection, it will. If not, well, she shouldn't have been such a whore.

I feel just Gideon putting his fleece out on the ground in the book of Judges!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Post-Infibulation Care For Young Women

There is Biblical support for this idea. After all, in Matthew 5:30, Jesus did say, And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. I suppose that cutting off some private parts is better than cutting off a girl's right hand, since it still leaves her hands intact for cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc.