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  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337
    #1

    Electronic Cigarette: Drug Laced Anal Tool Hits Streets

    I dare not post an image of this phallic implement, but brethren, I have beheld what amounts basically to a rubber wand filled with viscous liquid that heats up by electricity and has a contoured tip that dispenses drugs.

    After inserting the device into one's and one's boyfriend's anus, the device can then be used to vaporize drugs for inhalation.

    God tells us in Deuteronomy 4:16 that the crafting of such phallic implements is forbidden.

    16 Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female,
    Do not insert the e cigarette into any orifice of thine body and do not, I repeat, DO NOT worship it as though it were Jesus.
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
    Tags: None
    • Des
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2013
      • 2718
      #2
      Re: Electronic Cigarette: Drug Laced Anal Tool Hits Streets

      Sounds as though it were inspired by Harry Potter's demon summoning wand. I wonder if the artificial smoke smells of brimstone. A tool to turn children into gay Satanists, if you ask me.
      Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

        Comment

        • AtheistDemonBuffoon
          Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
          • Jul 2013
          • 49
          #3
          Re: Electronic Cigarette: Drug Laced Anal Tool Hits Streets

          Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
          I dare not post an image of this phallic implement, but brethren, I have beheld what amounts basically to a rubber wand filled with viscous liquid that heats up by electricity and has a contoured tip that dispenses drugs.

          After inserting the device into one's and one's boyfriend's anus, the device can then be used to vaporize drugs for inhalation.

          God tells us in Deuteronomy 4:16 that the crafting of such phallic implements is forbidden.



          Do not insert the e cigarette into any orifice of thine body and do not, I repeat, DO NOT worship it as though it were Jesus.
          This electronic cigarette doesn't even contain drugs. It's made as a healthy alternative to cigarettes, to help people stop drugs.
          Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
          abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

            Comment

            • Mary Etheldreda
              Gushing for Jesus
               
              • Sep 2011
              • 23775
              #4
              Re: Electronic Cigarette: Drug Laced Anal Tool Hits Streets

              Originally posted by AtheistDemonBuffoon View Post
              This electronic cigarette doesn't even contain drugs. It's made as a healthy alternative to cigarettes, to help people stop drugs.
              If by "healthy" you mean "created to be rammed inside one's colon so far as to tickle the small intestines." I... guess.

              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

                • AtheistDemonBuffoon
                  Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
                  • Jul 2013
                  • 49
                  #5
                  Re: Electronic Cigarette: Drug Laced Anal Tool Hits Streets

                  Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                  If by "healthy" you mean "created to be rammed inside one's colon so far as to tickle the small intestines." I... guess.

                  Glad you agree.
                  Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                  abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                    Comment

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