[OnYourKnees]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

PRAISE JESUS! Such a brilliant plan!

But why would a homer NOT suckle on a dog? Or did you mean on a <ahem> bitch?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

PRAISE JESUS! Such a brilliant plan!

But why would a homer NOT suckle on a dog? Or did you mean on a <ahem> bitch?

Yes, Brother....I meant a female dog. Modesty prevents me from using specific taxonomy.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Yes, Brother....I meant a female dog.

That's quite a relief, Pastor!

[SUV]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Pastor, I have another question: When is it Murder and when is it Insanity? Because when these women go to court to say that God told them to do it, obviously He will have more Class than to appear in a boring old courtroom to Testify on the Witness stand as to either yea or nay! - so how will the judge affirm that this woman actually did hear a voice straight from God?

Is it because The Good Lord never shows up to Testify that these Mothers are then automatically judged insane?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

I assume most of our members are smart enough for this one, but for those unsaved folks who visit, a friendly reminder:

Mother accused of microwaving baby
By James Hannah
The Associated Press

Dayton, Ohio -
"We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office.
He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby, Paris Talley.

Look here! We are a church about truthabove all! This is false evidence. It is a myth that microwaves cook from the inside out! It is NOT true!

Some Microwave Oven Myths

Do Microwave Ovens cook from the inside out? Nope. Food is partially transparent to the radio waves, so the energy is able to shine through it, but at the same time the waves are absorbed by the food. Most of the heat is produced in an outer layer about an inch thick. So, large pieces of meat will be quickly cooked to a depth of about an inch, while the inside portions are cooked by heat conduction, just like in a conventional oven. This effect is different for different foods of course. If a food is mostly water, only the outside inch cooks at all. If a food is air and water (bread, etc.,) then the radio energy penetrates all the way through, and the food gets heated everywhere, even deep inside.

http://home.cvc.org/microwaves/microexp.htm#myth
The woman named her baby Paris after that harlot, or the city of stinky baggette eating homers. Either way the kid was going to burn sooner or later. Perhaps this strange heat was coming from a demon inside it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Pastor, I have another question: When is it Murder and when is it Insanity? Because when these women go to court to say that God told them to do it, obviously He will have more Class than to appear in a boring old courtroom to Testify on the Witness stand as to either yea or nay! - so how will the judge affirm that this woman actually did hear a voice straight from God?

Is it because The Good Lord never shows up to Testify that these Mothers are then automatically judged insane?

Sister Sue, insanity is not recognized as a legal defense in the Holy Bible. In the Book of Mark, Jesus' Disciples seem to think He is insane:

Mark 3:21 And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.

But nowhere does the Bible offer insanity as a way of slithering out of responsibility for breaking God's laws. That is just another liebral jew-lawyer trick to get satan's followers off the hook for the crimes they commit.

If God tells the occasional female to eat her own young, then who are we to put her on trial? After all, it is not without Biblical precedent:

"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their own children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold, this evil is of the Lord." 2 Kings 6:28-29, 33

Praise Jesus!!

[SUV]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Oh, my Good God: Sweet Jesus was "beside himself?"

So what if he was...this way...? when He handed down some of our more unSavory Rules for Living?!

Does this mean that, for the Biblical Restrictions that I find, uh, "less than heartwarming" I can occasionally disregard these, as perhaps He was in yet another stuporous state due to drinking Wine?

But we must Worship Him anyway!......JUST BECAUSE!!!

Aha! I think I've stumbled upon something here!

[Ixi]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al

No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?

I didn't say anything about EATING it! Good Lord, NO! That's what Mudslums , wickedans and Pagans do!

[Ixi]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

I didn't say anything about EATING it! Good Lord, NO! That's what Mudslums , wickedans and Pagans do!

Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.

So do goths. Did I mention goths?

[SUV]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?

If you've ever gone to rotten.com (I certainly haven't!) you'd have found pictures of Hong Kong businessmen eating a near-term Baby ("foetus") in a soup brewed with vegetables and noodles.

Well I didn't cook it! Don't stare at me!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.

So you're better than Koreans now, Miss Diversity?

At least you've finally recognized that God is Good.

[Ixi]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

So do goths. Did I mention goths?

Mention goths for what? Your food source list?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!!

Mention goths for what? Your food source list?

For eating Christian babies.