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Hallelujah! SHOUT GLORY! Praise Jesus Christ LORD, and SAVIOR!!! My wife is pregnant again! After seeding my wife last night I went to my prayer closet to ask Jesus if she was pregnant, and surely enough she is going to have another son in 9 months! Shout GLORY. I am now a proud father of 4.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Dont count them chickens before they hatch, diaper man. Ol Jesus has been known to smite them what was too prideful. Step careful lest the lord curse you with she child.Originally posted by Dipper Man View Post
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words. -
Re: Praise Jesus!!!
I, and my wife are pure, and I believe that Jesus will bless us with a son. There is no reason to curse is with a daughter.Originally posted by Orem Festus Jr. View PostDont count them chickens before they hatch, diaper man. Ol Jesus has been known to smite them what was too prideful. Step careful lest the lord curse you with she child.Comment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
I could have gone all day without knowing you implanted your seed into your wife.
I think I'll bleach my brain now.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Sorry for any problems caused Mrs.Etheldreda. Just wanted to share the good news. Suppose I could've left that part out.Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View PostI could have gone all day without knowing you implanted your seed into your wife.
I think I'll bleach my brain now.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Aint the place for porno,son.i got a stomach of iron and even i feel queezy.it shore is nice to see you grovel for mercy tho,least you got the sense God gave a possum.Originally posted by Dipper Man View PostSorry for any problems caused Mrs.Etheldreda. Just wanted to share the good news. Suppose I could've left that part out.Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.Comment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Orem, dear:
I am not one to ever cause trouble because I believe JESUS wants us to always dwell on the things that please Him, but I heard a rumor that Chewer has a man-crush on you. I realize I am taking a chance that he might see this, but I just had to let you know.
He also says some of the meanest things about your wife. According to my source, he was telling someone that your wife is so ugly that on your wedding day, the preacher thought it was a gay wedding.
And I shouldn't tell you, but I understand he also said that your wife is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon on your honeymoon and got stuck.
Finally, I won't mention when he supposedly said that your wife is so stupid, she once sold your car for gas money.
Have a blessed day!
NRL1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Hello, Brother Chewer!
I hope the LORD is blessing you today. I share in your joy at the news of a future soldier for Christ incubating in your wife's glory hole.
I am not sure why Brother Orem is rumored to have quoted this verse:
Mark 13:17
But woe to them that are with child, and to them that giue suck in those dayes.
One thing I am sure of, though: he said the first part of the verse was about your wife, and the last part was about you. I don't understand what he meant of course.
I am sure He was quoting scripture out of joy and respect for you - I can tell that the two of you are close brothers in JESUS. Well, it's time for afternoon prayer with mother at her new condo. One of the women in her complex is making lemon bars - and I must check them out to see if this woman might be a future employee of mine.
Praise!
NRL1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Its true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.Comment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
How dare you Mrs.Ruth! I said no such thing. I aint no homersexual, and I didn't talk no nonsense about his wife neither.Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View PostOrem, dear:
I am not one to ever cause trouble because I believe JESUS wants us to always dwell on the things that please Him, but I heard a rumor that Chewer has a man-crush on you. I realize I am taking a chance that he might see this, but I just had to let you know.
He also says some of the meanest things about your wife. According to my source, he was telling someone that your wife is so ugly that on your wedding day, the preacher thought it was a gay wedding.
And I shouldn't tell you, but I understand he also said that your wife is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon on your honeymoon and got stuck.
Finally, I won't mention when he supposedly said that your wife is so stupid, she once sold your car for gas money.
Have a blessed day!
NRLComment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."Originally posted by Orem Festus Jr. View PostIts true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Ise sorry for talkin bout your feller wheezer, but I don't be fornicating with no red man orem...Originally posted by Orem Festus Jr. View PostIts true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!Comment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Chewer,Originally posted by Chewer View Post
My sincere apologies if this story is untrue - I'm only relating what I heard so that the two of you can continue to be lifelong friends. I am NOT one to cause trouble, as I said.
I suppose when Orem said he was hoping you two could go camping soon, he meant fishing and hunting in separate tents. I admit I raised my eyebrow when I read in the private message, "We hope to compare our guns."
Glory to God that He brought you 2 together for fellowship.
Get close to each other, for the Lord loves when we meet people with whom we can bond.
NRL1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Apology accepted. Reckon I ought not get mad at the messenger.Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View PostComment
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Re: Praise Jesus!!!
Ill take the boy possom huntin.but he gotta share a tent with Wheezer.wheezer crys alot at night and needs somthin warm with breasts and a soft rump to slobber on.reckon ol dipstic fits the bill nicely!Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.Comment
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