Independence Day: Independence From What?

[Johny Joe Hold]

July 4th, Independence Day, is most often referred to as a day to celebrate independence from England. We True Christians™, however, need more independence from the sin and sinners that are always trying to enter our lives. Here is what we need independence from:

1.) Liberals. There are too many of them and they are in our faces constantly. We want them placed far from us, where we can't hear or see them.

2.) Homers. There are too many homers prancing all over the streets on Gay Pride Day and every day for that matter. Who wants to be near such people? Let them stay behind a wall somewhere so we can be independent of them.

3.) Catholics. We should not have to see the Pope or priests on the news every week taking about holy this and holy that. Stay in your lane Catholics.

4.)Feminists. Women making a name for themselves in business and politics is something our little girls do not need to see. A day making of independent of feminists would be a day to celebrate.

5.) Immigrants. President Trump tried to give us independence from millions named Jose but had little luck. Put them in one camp and put a fence around it.

Others may want independence from issues I have not listed. It would be helpful to list all of them.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Independence Day: Independence From What?

Others may want independence from issues I have not listed. It would be helpful to list all of them.

If you insist.


6.) COVID hoax promoters. These people were irritating a year ago, but their crap is REALLY wearing thin at this point.


7.) Poor people. Literally every single minimum wage fast food restaurant in America has a help wanted sign out front right now. Get a job and get off unemployment. This is America, not welfare state England.


8.) Jews. Do I really need to elaborate?


9.) Black people. The bad ones I mean. The good ones like Uncle Rutherford, Tim Scott, and James Manning can stay, because we'll be spending eternity with then in Heaven anyway. All the rest of those godless, Democrat-voting, gangsta-thuggin coons need to go back to Africa.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Independence Day: Independence From What?

I don’t know if it’s because of the holiday or what, but I wrote out a check for my tithe during service this morning and it hasn’t been cashed out yet. I know Pastor Ezekiel is a good man who can get them cashed out rather quickly on Sundays through Freehold’s bank branch, but I noticed it’s been 3 hours and he hasn’t cashed it yet. Is this “Independence Day” the cause of banks not cashing the tithes today?

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Independence Day: Independence From What?

Also independence from the Native Americans.