[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Any sane person knows not to play a football game with Catholics if they wish to maintain their anal virginity.

Amen Brother!

And here is some solid PROOF!

Take THAT "Father"

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Washohanley (11:43:22 PM): Greetings Mburmy I am here to discuss your challenge to a football game
MBurmy (11:44:13 PM): Yes that is my challenge...As an extra bonus, I will keep my mouth shut about the allegations if you accept...
Washohanley (11:44:37 PM): While doing some investigations on your team (namely: typing your team's name into google) I discovered that your alleged team is a High School
Washohanley (11:44:41 PM): is this true?
Washohanley (11:44:59 PM): and if you so you are aware that my team is composed of 8 and 9 year olds?
MBurmy (11:45:28 PM): That would be the high school in Louisville, Ohio-We are an elementary school in Waterford, Wisconsin.
Washohanley (11:45:56 PM): Wisconsin? That French sodom?
Washohanley (11:46:15 PM): how do you manage to play football while awash in a sea of homosexuality and beaver pelts?
MBurmy (11:46:29 PM): French sodom? Uh, no, our European heritage is mainly German...
MBurmy (11:46:45 PM): Wisconsin is home of the famous Green Bay Packers
Washohanley (11:46:57 PM): never heard of them, what sport do they play?
MBurmy (11:47:29 PM): They're in the National Football League, and have won 9 league titles and 3 Super Bowls.
Washohanley (11:47:44 PM): National Football League? Is that like the AFL?
MBurmy (11:47:52 PM): The most world championships of any pro football team.
MBurmy (11:48:06 PM): Uh, the AFL merged with the NFL in 1970...
Washohanley (11:48:24 PM): are the Portsmouth Spartans still around?
MBurmy (11:48:48 PM): They've been the Detroit Lions since 1938...
Washohanley (11:48:53 PM): that Bobby Layne sure could run a statue of liberty play
MBurmy (11:49:26 PM): He's been dead for 21 years...
Washohanley (11:49:36 PM): tragic
Washohanley (11:49:50 PM): was it a sudden death?
MBurmy (11:50:30 PM): Umm...he died at 59 in 1986, probably from a drinking problem...
Washohanley (11:50:35 PM): Isee
Washohanley (11:51:50 PM): naturally I wanted to discuss strategy, namely if your team would be using the new trick play called "The Forward Pass". Gus Dorais ran it with some success recently and I wanted to know whether or not you considered such strategy to be... underhanded
Washohanley (11:53:02 PM): John Heisman remarked that the use of the forward pass was a revolution in modern football
MBurmy (11:53:13 PM): Well, you know a Catholic helped popularize the forward pass...
MBurmy (11:53:20 PM): That would be Knute Rockne...
Washohanley (11:53:36 PM): He was probably trying to woo a child into his love fortress of debauchery
MBurmy (11:53:44 PM): I assume your team still wears leather helmets?
Washohanley (11:53:47 PM): helmets?
MBurmy (11:54:12 PM): We have helmets with-get this-face masks!
Washohanley (11:54:17 PM): like hockey?
MBurmy (11:54:47 PM): Sorta like hockey, but with less bars...
Washohanley (11:54:53 PM): the only kids that wear helmets are the those kids that ride the short bus to school. My team uses their bus as a blocking sled in the mornings
MBurmy (11:55:37 PM): Hey, you might want to read about my inspiration in coaching:
MBurmy (11:55:39 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:55:58 PM): never heard of him
MBurmy (11:57:03 PM): Check out some of his quoatations:
MBurmy (11:57:04 PM): http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:57:39 PM): very inspirational- you say this guy coached professional football? I've never heard of him, was it in the European league?
MBurmy (11:58:22 PM): No, it was for the National (american) Football League, most famously for the Green Bay Packers...
Washohanley (11:58:53 PM): those vagabonds that are owned by the Cheese Packing plant?
MBurmy (1120 PM): Actually, they started out as a meat packing company's football team...
Washohanley (12:00:08 AM): I bet they let negroes play on their team too
MBurmy (12:01:10 AM): Actually, one of these late "negroes" on the Packers had a great devotion to the Lord...
Washohanley (12:01:27 AM): I find that hard to believe. Explain yourself!
MBurmy (12:01:34 AM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggie_White
Washohanley (12:03:26 AM): he only played one position? In college I played quarterback, running back, right gaurd, linebacker, kicker, punter and long snapper as well as a short stint as a defensive gaurd for 3 games. Pat Summerall called me "the amazing goat boy" because of my quick feet and hankering for cans and other garbage thrown on the field.
MBurmy (12:03:57 AM): Pat Summerall? You mean the broadcaster?
MBurmy (12:04:09 AM): Most NFL players only play one position...
Washohanley (12:04:18 AM): because they're all limp-wristed pansies
MBurmy (12:04:31 AM): However, several high school and arena/indoor players play two...
Washohanley (12:05:08 AM): I once long snapped the ball to myself, gaurded three defensive linemen and punted the ball in the same play and made it down field in time to make the tackle and cause a fumble.
Washohanley (12:05:18 AM): in that order
Washohanley (12:07:17 AM): do you think Red Barber will be available to call our competition?
MBurmy (12:08:54 AM): Red Barber's been dead for almost 15 years...
Washohanley (12:09:16 AM): OH DOCTOR!
MBurmy (12:09:58 AM): However, I would LOVE to get Jim Irwin & Max McGee to do the broadcast...
Washohanley (12:11:36 AM): sounds good
MBurmy (12:12:20 AM): We'll even design helmets & uniforms for your team...
Washohanley (12:13:26 AM): I don't know, we exhumed Bronko Nagurski's grave for our's (for good luck)
MBurmy (12:14:15 AM): What are your team colors?
Washohanley (12:14:17 AM): white
Washohanley (12:14:21 AM): and another shade of white
MBurmy (12:14:44 AM): Ours are green, black, and white...
Washohanley (12:16:07 AM): due to certain legal... misfortunes... some of our players aren't allowed to leave the county (some rape charges or something), as such the game will have to be played at Landover's Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium
MBurmy (12:16:34 AM): What does it look like?
Washohanley (12:16:31 AM): in honor of your arrival we even added "hash marks" to our fields and added a second end zone
MBurmy (12:16:59 AM): Cool...Hope you have that for all your opponents
Washohanley (12:17:28 AM): we generally play half court football- when a player gets to the 50 yard line they turn around and run back
MBurmy (12:19:07 AM): I assume your team helmets look like:
MBurmy (12:19:09 AM): http://www.helmet-depot.com/w-17.gif
MBurmy (12:19:35 AM): I will accept your white-&-white combo...
MBurmy (12:19:56 AM): But we're wearing our green & black too...
Washohanley (12:19:55 AM): no, we just shave a number into the side of each kid's head and give them a little asrpin before each game
Washohanley (12:23:54 AM): now I wanted to discuss some of the... unfortunate... allegations against me made by my athletic enemies and most recently you
Washohanley (12:24:30 AM): as I find these to be hurtful to my character and grossly uninformed
MBurmy (12:25:11 AM): I did go a bit out of line, and profusely apologize...
Washohanley (12:25:14 AM): I run a tight shift on my team and discipline is the main priority
Washohanley (12:25:40 AM): as I explained in my topic; most of what is being attributed to myself are flat out lies or misunderstandings from people not involved
MBurmy (12:26:18 AM): I do tend to sway by some media opinion, which Fr. Martin has lectured me on...
MBurmy (12:27:21 AM): Anyway, check out my helmet design...
Washohanley (12:27:30 AM): I'm sure that if your quarterback had thrown an incomplete pass you would have also lashed him 40 times with the antenna off your car. We're not just coaching to win here, we are trying to build character for these young men!
MBurmy (12:28:29 AM): No, I wouldn't have...If I had done that, then I'd get a five-game suspension and a $500 fine from the conference...
MBurmy (12:29:16 AM): For the first offense
Washohanley (12:29:19 AM): $500 is chump change to me and is a small price to pay to build character and morals
MBurmy (12:29:58 AM): Second offense, I'd get suspended for the season with no pay...
MBurmy (12:30:20 AM): Third offense, I'd get banned for life...
Washohanley (12:30:48 AM): that a union thing? you can avoid those hefty fines if you say you're working for an olive oil company and tell the feds that your football team is actually one of those "Brat Camps" for at-risk youth.
MBurmy (12:32:29 AM): Then I'd be breaking the 8th commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
Washohanley (12:32:30 AM): as far as Uncle Sam is concerned the Landover Baptist Sultan Strom Thurmonds is "Camp El Chupacabra" located near Mammoth Mountain in the Sierra Nevadas where parents send their drug-addicted teens for rehabilitation through camping and team-building exercises
MBurmy (12:33:05 AM): I assume you say they're midget teens?
Washohanley (12:33:12 AM): no
Washohanley (12:33:17 AM): that's outrageous
MBurmy (12:34:37 AM): Okay, first we begin with the coaches' Ten Commandments quiz...
MBurmy (12:34:58 AM): You start with the First Commandment...
Washohanley (12:35:20 AM): why don't you start
Washohanley (12:35:25 AM): or we can type it at the same time
Washohanley (12:35:28 AM): GO!
MBurmy (12:35:49 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:51 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:56 AM): very good
MBurmy (12:36:02 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Washohanley (12:36:03 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
MBurmy (12:36:21 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
Washohanley (12:36:20 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
MBurmy (12:36:43 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
Washohanley (12:36:41 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
MBurmy (12:36:51 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.
Washohanley (12:36:54 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.

MBurmy (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Washohanley (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
MBurmy (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
Washohanley (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
MBurmy (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Washohanley (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
MBurmy (12:37:37 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Washohanley (12:37:35 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
MBurmy (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
Washohanley (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
MBurmy (12:38:06 AM): How did I do?
Washohanley (12:38:22 AM): good
MBurmy (12:38:47 AM): Did I use the right Commandments? I think so...
MBurmy (12:40:24 AM): Anyway, what is Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium's capacity?
Washohanley (12:41:36 AM): well that changes by the week
MBurmy (12:41:58 AM): What will it be when the Knights come to Freehold?
Washohanley (12:41:53 AM): you have your standard swap meets, civil war reenactments, 4h club auctions
Washohanley (12:42:27 AM): then some punk teens stole the bench one day and cut our capacity in half
Washohanley (12:43:40 AM): I'm sure once we clean all the goat droppings out after the 4h club is done using the tent you can fit several hundred people in there if they bring folding chairs
MBurmy (12:44:33 AM): I hope there's enough for an audible "booooo" when we come in...
Washohanley (12:45:11 AM): Mburmy- is your St. Thoman Aquinas located at 302 South Second Street Waterford WI 53185
Washohanley (12:45:21 AM): tel: 262-534-2265
MBurmy (12:45:47 AM): Well, you can contact the coach at 262-554-6329...
Washohanley (12:46:13 AM): according to this website your school only offers volleyball and basketball which are for lesbians and colereds respectively
MBurmy (12:46:57 AM): Our football team is our "secret weapon"...
Washohanley (12:47:13 AM): and according to the staff list your physical education teamer is a woman
MBurmy (12:47:31 AM): Yes she is...
Washohanley (12:47:40 AM): sounds like this school is located in San Francisco
MBurmy (12:47:58 AM): And my wife is African-American...
Washohanley (12:47:53 AM): do you have your kids put condoms on cucumbers too?
MBurmy (12:48:43 AM): Our football team might be changing its name...Any suggestions?
Washohanley (12:49:27 AM): sir I am going to need some kind of evidence that your team even exists before we can have a game because according to this website your team doesn't exist (or did you take my adivce and change to a summer camp already)
MBurmy (12:50:37 AM): Well, I am going to need a press release verifying the existence of the "Sultan Strom Thurmonds" (and I think Crusaders would be a better name for you)
Washohanley (12:51:00 AM): in fact, no where on this website is Father Thomas Martin nor "Burmy" mentioned
MBurmy (12:51:31 AM): Well, we're in Waterford II, Wisconsin
MBurmy (12:52:22 AM): Waterford II's mayor is George Ringo.
Washohanley (12:52:37 AM): well that kind of information can't be googled or anything
Washohanley (12:52:59 AM): the mayor of Moorpark, California is Patrick Hunter- that doesn't mean anything to this conversation, though
MBurmy (12:54:03 AM): George Ringo was named in honor of the past Pope...After John Paul comes George Ringo, right?
Washohanley (12:54:09 AM): who cares
MBurmy (12:54:30 AM): Well, I need to go to sleep. GOOD NIGHT!
Washohanley (12:54:29 AM): knowing Popes is about as usefull as knowing every Hobbit's name in Lord of the Rings


Seems that Father Martin and Paul Bear Liar here have a little explaining to do.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Due to popular demand, I'm going to post some more exclusive behind-the-scenes soul-saving. To all you unsaved lurkers reading, this is your lucky day:

(2007-09-27 22:24:18) pastrbillyreuben: whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(2007-09-27 22:24:43) MBurmy:So, the author of the book of Proverbs will burn in hell? Cuz he said that a lot...
(2007-09-27 22:24:44) pastrbillyreuben: Of course, as a ring-kissing Catholic, you couldn't be any more in danger of hell fire if you tried.
(2007-09-27 22:25:02) pastrbillyreuben: He said it before Jesus warned him.
(2007-09-27 22:25:35) MBurmy:And in the parable Jesus told, God said to the rich man "You fool, this night your life shall be expected of you"
(2007-09-27 22:25:49) pastrbillyreuben: in the parable
(2007-09-27 22:26:08) MBurmy:So God wouldn't say it in real life?
(2007-09-27 22:26:41) pastrbillyreuben: besides, it says "in danger of hell fire". It doesn't say "call some one a fool and automatically go to hell"
(2007-09-27 22:27:14) pastrbillyreuben: It's not like blaspheming the Holy Ghost, where you earn an automatic nonrefundable one-way ticket straight to Hell.
(2007-09-27 22:28:40) MBurmy: So if a born-again Christian (who you say is guaranteed to go to heaven) blasphemes the Holy Spirit (which you say gets you an automatic nonrefundable one-way Delta Airlines ticket straight to hell), then what?
(2007-09-27 22:28:54) pastrbillyreuben: Ah, you think you're being tricky.
(2007-09-27 22:29:06) pastrbillyreuben: God can see into the future, because He's God.
(2007-09-27 22:29:21) pastrbillyreuben: He knows in advance who is going to blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:30:10) pastrbillyreuben: Since someone can only be saved though divine intervention, God just declines to intervene in the lives of the folks who will eventually blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:30:43) pastrbillyreuben: Only a false convert, a thorny ground listener, would ever blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:31:22) pastrbillyreuben: In your example, the fact that they blasphemed the Holy Ghost is concrete proof that they were never really saved in the first place.
(2007-09-27 22:31:36) MBurmy:1. it's the Holy SPIRIT.
(2007-09-27 22:31:51) MBurmy:2. How does one know whether they're saved or not?
(2007-09-27 22:32:27) pastrbillyreuben: 1. You're wrong, it's Holy Ghost
Mark 3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
(2007-09-27 22:32:39) MBurmy: Stupid King James...
(2007-09-27 22:32:50) MBurmy:Read the NAB, RSV, or NIV!
(2007-09-27 22:33:00) pastrbillyreuben: 2. A desire to blaspheme the Holy Ghost is a strong indicator that the person was not saved.
(2007-09-27 22:33:12) pastrbillyreuben: I'm not going to read your Devil translations.
(2007-09-27 22:33:33) MBurmy:So, for all we know, you might blaspheme the Holy SPIRIT, and end up going to hell.
(2007-09-27 22:34:30) pastrbillyreuben: I know the Catholic Church is upset with King James. He put the true Word of God into the hands of the people. They are no longer reliant on a corrupt Papist priest to "interpret" it for them.
(2007-09-27 22:34:44) pastrbillyreuben: Not going to happen. I'm saved.
(2007-09-27 22:35:00) MBurmy:That is the sin of presumption.
(2007-09-27 22:35:13) pastrbillyreuben: all right, where is that listed in the Bible?
(2007-09-27 22:35:27) MBurmy:Saying you can make it by God's help without your own efforts? WRONG?
(2007-09-27 22:35:35) pastrbillyreuben: I'm not presuming anyway. I am assured.
(2007-09-27 22:35:59) MBurmy:God might not save you...We don't know till the end...
(2007-09-27 22:35:59) pastrbillyreuben: absolutely not. I just said earlier that man cannot get saved without God's help.
(2007-09-27 22:36:12) MBurmy:Which I agree with...
(2007-09-27 22:36:20) pastrbillyreuben:(2007-09-27 22:30:10) pastrbillyreuben: Since someone can only be saved though divine intervention(2007-09-27 22:36:31) MBurmy:By God's help and your own efforts...
(2007-09-27 22:36:38) pastrbillyreuben: The Bible tells me how to know if I am saved.
(2007-09-27 22:36:45) pastrbillyreuben: my own efforts are but filthy rags
(2007-09-27 22:37:13) pastrbillyreuben: That was Job's problem. He thought his own efforts meant something. He was proud of his righteousness.
(2007-09-27 22:37:38) pastrbillyreuben: my own efforts mean nothing to God. How can they?
(2007-09-27 22:37:48) MBurmy: No, his problem was that he thought he could make it on his own efforts without God's help...
(2007-09-27 22:38:34) pastrbillyreuben: Job gave God His due.
(2007-09-27 22:39:15) pastrbillyreuben: but even with all his righteousness, he was no better than the most depraved sinner in God's eyes.
(2007-09-27 22:39:25) MBurmy: GAAAAAA! Outside the Church there is no salvation!
(2007-09-27 22:39:40) pastrbillyreuben: Outside of God there is no salvation.
(2007-09-27 22:39:58) pastrbillyreuben: your church cannot guarantee salvation.
(2007-09-27 22:40:43) MBurmy:I'm going to build a time machine...And I'm taking LBC on a trip in it!
(2007-09-27 22:41:17) MBurmy:You know where I'm going?
(2007-09-27 22:41:51) MBurmy:On the time machine trip?
(2007-09-27 22:41:55) pastrbillyreuben: no thanks. I don't want to go on a "trip" and smoke any of that hashish your priests carry around in their mitre.
(2007-09-27 22:42:14) MBurmy:No, I mean a real time machine!
(2007-09-27 22:42:33) pastrbillyreuben: you let me know when you have it built, space man.
(2007-09-27 22:42:35) MBurmy:You know where I'd take you all back?
(2007-09-27 22:43:03) pastrbillyreuben: To the Inquisition, so you could have us all tortured and killed?
(2007-09-27 22:43:19) pastrbillyreuben: no thanks
(2007-09-27 22:44:50) MBurmy:Spanish or Portugese?
(2007-09-27 22:45:37) MBurmy:In other words, Ferdinand & Isabella or Joao III?
(2007-09-27 22:46:08) MBurmy:Would you be willing to die for the Lord? I know I would!
(2007-09-27 22:46:36) MBurmy:I know you'd take me back to Henry VIII or Elizabeth I, so you could have me, Fr. Tom, and the other Catholics killed...
(2007-09-27 22:46:40) MBurmy:No thanks...
(2007-09-27 22:46:58) pastrbillyreuben: It doesn't matter to me, I don't want any part of it. Anyway, the rapture is coming soon, and once the Anti-Christ sets the Catholic Church up as the official church of the world, you'll get your chance to do it all over again.
(2007-09-27 22:47:12) MBurmy:THERE IS NO RAPTURE!
(2007-09-27 22:47:13) pastrbillyreuben: I don't want to get you killed. I want to get you saved.
(2007-09-27 22:47:38) pastrbillyreuben: That's exactly what Satan wants the world to believe, Michael.
(2007-09-27 22:48:25) MBurmy: We are living in the "Millenial Reign," which is a metaphor for the Age of Christianity.
(2007-09-27 22:48:54) MBurmy:And the "beast" was Nero, who symbolized the Roman persecution.
(2007-09-27 22:48:54) pastrbillyreuben: The millennial reign won't start until after the tribulation
(2007-09-27 22:49:36) MBurmy:The tribulation is a metaphor for the Roman persecution!
(2007-09-27 22:49:51) pastrbillyreuben: I've heard your whole "Nero was the beast of revelations" theology all before. I don't buy it.
(2007-09-27 22:50:18) MBurmy:Since I will NEVER join your heretical church, just kill me now.
(2007-09-27 22:51:05) pastrbillyreuben: you don't know that. you are blinded to God's truth. If God chooses to remove your blinders, then you will join.
(2007-09-27 22:52:15) MBurmy:By the way, this weekend is the St. Thomas Aquinas homecoming game, where the Knights play the St. Robert Bellarmine Broncos.
(2007-09-27 22:53:01) pastrbillyreuben: another Catholic school? Too bad they can't both lose.
(2007-09-27 22:54:13) MBurmy:After that, we play St. Lucy, then St. Rita, then John Paul II Academy.
(2007-09-27 22:54:56) MBurmy:We're in the Catholic Division of the Southeast Wisconsin Parochial Conference...
(2007-09-27 22:56:19) MBurmy:Then we play an interdivision game against the Kisimis Theotokos Greek Orthodox team...
(2007-09-27 22:57:02) MBurmy:Which do you dislike more?
(2007-09-27 22:57:50) pastrbillyreuben: Greek Orthodox theology is almost as screwy Catholic theology, but the Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte has good food at their festivals.
(2007-09-27 22:58:06) MBurmy:Tasty gyros...
(2007-09-27 2201) MBurmy:I LOOOOOOOVE gyros...
(2007-09-27 2249) MBurmy:Anyway, goodbye, and I pray you see the light.
(2007-09-27 23:00:47) pastrbillyreuben: I have seen the light, and I'll pray the same for you, amen.
(2007-09-27 23:00:56) pastrbillyreuben: good night

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

I accept your challenge to a football game under the condition that the game be played in Landover's Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium. I would also like to know ahead of time if your team plans to use the new trick play called the "forward pass" which Walter Camp has called "the future of modern Football".

Beginner's guide to the forward pass: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forward_pass

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

What you see in this thread is just the tip of the iceburg. Just one of the many related debates:

2007-09-27 00:37:13) MBurmy:Hello, Pastor!
(2007-09-27 00:37:49) MBurmy:I am the head coach of the St. Thomas Aquinas football team, the Knights...
(2007-09-27 00:38:35) MBurmy:And a very good friend of Fr. Thomas Martin
(2007-09-27 00:39:30) MBurmy:hello?
(2007-09-27 08:54:44) pastrbillyreuben: Hi, what can I do for you?
(2007-09-27 17:40:56) MBurmy:I said, I am the head coach of Fr. Thomas Martin's parish football team...
(2007-09-27 17:40:56) pastrbillyreuben <AUTO-REPLY> : I am currently not available. Please leave your message, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
(2007-09-27 18:33:26) pastrbillyreuben: what can I do for you?
(2007-09-27 18:34:17) MBurmy:Why yes, my pastor, Fr. Thomas Martin, challenged the Aquinas Knights to a football game against the Landover Sultan Strom Thurmonds...
(2007-09-27 18:34:34) MBurmy:And I seconded the challenge...
(2007-09-27 18:36:01) pastrbillyreuben: I saw that on the forum, but who they play is up to Wash.
(2007-09-27 18:36:41) MBurmy:I've spearheaded an investigation that Wash is abusing his players...
(2007-09-27 18:36:58) MBurmy:It's being reviewed by the Online Parochial Conference...
(2007-09-27 18:37:18) pastrbillyreuben: I knew Wash was being persecuted. Thanks for letting me know who was behind it.
(2007-09-27 18:38:16) pastrbillyreuben: What is your name, coach?
(2007-09-27 18:38:16) MBurmy:If Wash is found guilty, then he will be fired, and the program placed on probation for five years (banned from the postseason for the first year, and no scholarships for the next two, and only one for the two after that)
(2007-09-27 18:38:43) pastrbillyreuben: We're well aware of what Wash's enemies are trying to do to him.
(2007-09-27 18:38:43) MBurmy:Michael Burmeister, I am not a user on the boards, but I remain a good friend and supporter of Fr. Martin
(2007-09-27 18:39:26) MBurmy:Enemies? THERE ARE RULES HERE! Landover's team is not above the athletic laws...I suppose you videotape the opponents too?
(2007-09-27 18:39:39) pastrbillyreuben: Why do you hate the Lord so much that you would try to bring down a man of God like Wash?
(2007-09-27 18:40:00) pastrbillyreuben: Shame on you!
(2007-09-27 18:40:14) MBurmy:Man of God? GOD HATES CHILD ABUSE!
(2007-09-27 18:40:27) pastrbillyreuben: That's rich, coming from a Catholic.
(2007-09-27 18:41:17) MBurmy:96% of our nation's priests DO NOT abuse children...John Paul II had said, and Benedict XVI echoed, "There is no place in the clergy for anyone who would abuse the young"
(2007-09-27 18:41:49) MBurmy:How does 4% somehow equal 100%?
(2007-09-27 18:41:52) MBurmy:Huh?
(2007-09-27 18:41:54) pastrbillyreuben: except for neighboring, unsuspecting and unwarned diocese
(2007-09-27 18:42:23) pastrbillyreuben: 4% have been caught.
(2007-09-27 18:42:56) pastrbillyreuben: the true figure is much higher
(2007-09-27 18:43:17) MBurmy:Okay, what suits you; Pot luck dinners or the Eucharist?
(2007-09-27 18:44:29) MBurmy:Jesus said "I am the bread of life...He who eats this bread shall live forever, and I will raise him up on the last day...For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink"
(2007-09-27 18:45:28) MBurmy:"The bread that I will give is My flesh for the life of the world...Unless you eat of the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life within you."
(2007-09-27 18:46:44) pastrbillyreuben: no, He said, "This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me." and "This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you."
(2007-09-27 18:46:52) MBurmy:At the Last Supper "This is My body which is for you...This is My blood of the new covenant poured out for all for the forgiveness of sins...Do this in memory of Me."
(2007-09-27 18:47:18) MBurmy:So if he said "This is My body," why do you deny the Real Presence?
(2007-09-27 18:47:31) pastrbillyreuben: we eat the bread and drink the wine in remembrance. We aren't eating rotting flesh or drinking blood.
(2007-09-27 18:47:42) pastrbillyreuben: Oh, His presence is there alright.
(2007-09-27 18:48:02) MBurmy:Oh, so you take every other line literally, but this metaphorically?
(2007-09-27 18:48:56) MBurmy:The host is Jesus (body, blood, soul, and divinity), and the contents of the chalice are Jesus (body, blood, soul, and divinity).
(2007-09-27 18:49:50) pastrbillyreuben: I take it all literally. Jesus literally said to do this in remembrance of Him. He never said, and your fake "priest" will say cast some kind of witch spell and turn bread into real rotting flesh.
(2007-09-27 18:50:26) pastrbillyreuben: that's just disgusting, and unbiblical.
(2007-09-27 18:50:43) MBurmy:Read John 6, and when he says "He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood shall have everlasting life," is that literal or metaphorical?
(2007-09-27 18:52:25) pastrbillyreuben: Why don't you read read Genesis 9:4, Leviticus 17:11-12, and Acts 15:29, and tell me whether the prohibitions on drinking blood are literal or metaphorical.
(2007-09-27 18:52:56) pastrbillyreuben: John 6 is a parable.
(2007-09-27 18:53:20) MBurmy:Okay, if it was a parable, why didn't he tell it in parable form?
(2007-09-27 18:53:42) MBurmy:Does this sound like the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son, or the Thrifty Steward to you?
(2007-09-27 18:56:21) pastrbillyreuben: Meat in this case means spiritual food. It is still taken literally.
(2007-09-27 18:56:32) pastrbillyreuben: That's the dictionary definition.
(2007-09-27 18:56:43) pastrbillyreuben: http://1828.mshaffer.com/d/search/word,meat
(2007-09-27 18:57:08) pastrbillyreuben: It doesn't mean we all become a bunch of heathen cannibal savages
(2007-09-27 18:57:15) pastrbillyreuben: like you folks
(2007-09-27 18:57:42) pastrbillyreuben: 3. In Scripture, spiritual food; that which sustains and nourishes spiritual life or holiness.

My flesh is meat indeed. John.6.
(2007-09-27 18:58:11) MBurmy:That's not a Catholic dictionary...This is the only citation he can find in the Bible for that meanind...
(2007-09-27 18:58:16) MBurmy:*meaning'
(2007-09-27 18:58:27) pastrbillyreuben: no, it's the Webster's dictionary
(2007-09-27 18:58:39) MBurmy:Was Webster a Catholic or not?
(2007-09-27 1851) pastrbillyreuben: Why do you need a special "Catholic" dictionary? I thought the fact that your Bible is translated from the corrupted vulgate should be plenty enough to twist scripture to your liking.
(2007-09-27 19:00:21) pastrbillyreuben: you need to redefine words too?
(2007-09-27 19:00:48) MBurmy:Well, according to you, once somebody is born-again, he can be an unrepentant mass-muderer and still go to heaven...
(2007-09-27 19:01:34) pastrbillyreuben: the man isn't saved according to his own works. He is saved by God's sovereign grace.
(2007-09-27 19:02:05) pastrbillyreuben: do you think good works are required for salvation? our righteousness is but filthy rags to God.
(2007-09-27 19:02:31) pastrbillyreuben: That's not "according to me". That's according to the Bible.
(2007-09-27 19:02:48) MBurmy:Did I ever show you the case of the sinning minister?
(2007-09-27 19:03:09) pastrbillyreuben: it might not seem "fair" to the unsaved mind, but that's the way True justice -- God's justice -- works.
(2007-09-27 19:03:19) pastrbillyreuben: when would you have shown it to me?
(2007-09-27 19:03:29) MBurmy: Let's say your minister became a "born-again Christian" at the age of 15. Now he is 75. In the intervening 60 years the man has lived an exemplary life. So far as he or anyone else knows, he never has committed a single serious sin.
(2007-09-27 19:03:42) MBurmy:But then, at age 75, comes a change
(2007-09-27 19:03:50) MBurmy:During one horrible day, he robs a bank, deliberately runs over a cat with his car, commits adultery, blasphemes loudly in public, murders a neighbor, and then commits suicide, dying unrepentant.
(2007-09-27 19:04:02) MBurmy:Does your minister go to heaven or hell?
(2007-09-27 19:04:05) pastrbillyreuben: Your butt-buddy Thomas Martin asked me that exact same question.
(2007-09-27 19:04:25) MBurmy:That's where I learned it from, and he is not my "butt-buddy"
(2007-09-27 19:04:43) pastrbillyreuben: I told him that it depends on whether he was really saved at 15, and didn't undergo a false conversion.
(2007-09-27 19:04:50) pastrbillyreuben: If he was really saved, then Heaven.
(2007-09-27 19:04:55) pastrbillyreuben: Once saved, always saved.
(2007-09-27 19:05:14) MBurmy:Define "false conversion"
(2007-09-27 19:06:04) pastrbillyreuben: I posted a mini-sermon on the topic of Perseverance of the Saints just yesterday: http://landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4683
(2007-09-27 19:06:43) MBurmy:I don't believe in predestination.
(2007-09-27 19:06:49) pastrbillyreuben: Me neither
(2007-09-27 19:07:02) MBurmy:Yes you do...
(2007-09-27 19:07:20) MBurmy:You say God picks and chooses ahead of time (from the beginning) who is and who isn't saved, and He will cause people to believe lies, just so He can damn them to Hell.
(2007-09-27 19:07:30) MBurmy:That is predestination.
(2007-09-27 19:07:58) MBurmy:I believe, if a person goes to Hell, it's because (s)he refused God's grace in life.
(2007-09-27 19:08:54) pastrbillyreuben: God knows ahead of time who will accept salvation, and who will spit his gift back into His face. He chooses the first group -- they are his elect. He doesn't reveal Himself to the others. But the choice still belongs to each of us.
(2007-09-27 19:09:11) MBurmy:Believe me, God made us because He wants us to show His goodness on earth, and when we die, be happy with Him forever in Heaven.
(2007-09-27 19:09:37) MBurmy:And why does your church look like a sports arena?
(2007-09-27 19:10:33) pastrbillyreuben: Humans are all totally depraved. We are naturally incapable of saving ourselves. It requires God to intervene in our lives so that anyone can become saved. God knows who will accept His gift, and he doesn't intervene in the lives of the others.
(2007-09-27 19:10:38) pastrbillyreuben: I don't live in Freehold.
(2007-09-27 19:10:52) MBurmy:Freehold?
(2007-09-27 19:11:34) pastrbillyreuben: Freehold Iowa, home of the main Landover Baptist Church. It has to be built like an arena to accommodate the whole congregation.
(2007-09-27 19:12:10) pastrbillyreuben: I forget how many people it is, but I know it's in the tens of thousands every Sunday.
(2007-09-27 19:13:31) MBurmy:Since I logged in, do I get to be in Welcome to Jesusland II?
(2007-09-27 19:14:30) pastrbillyreuben: Unsaved folks aren't welcome in church, as Jesus commanded.
(2007-09-27 19:16:13) pastrbillyreuben: I didn't get to answer your earlier question about false conversions. I'll assume you are familiar with the parable of the sower. The "thorny ground" listeners are the false conversions.
(2007-09-27 19:18:10) MBurmy:If I lived in Freehold, I'd buy the "church" building, and turn it into a basketball, hockey, and arena football venue!
(2007-09-27 19:18:23) MBurmy:How much for the arena church?
(2007-09-27 19:18:48) pastrbillyreuben: It's not mine to sell
(2007-09-27 19:19:22) MBurmy:Well, buh-bye, may almighty God bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
(2007-09-27 19:19:26) pastrbillyreuben: I would think you'd want to do that to any place where the true Word of God is preached.
(2007-09-27 19:19:38) pastrbillyreuben: I'll pray for you.
(2007-09-27 19:20:01) MBurmy:No, the reply is "Amen"
(2007-09-27 19:20:47) MBurmy:Anyway...Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
(2007-09-27 19:21:03) pastrbillyreuben: I intend to.
(2007-09-27 19:21:11) MBurmy:The reply is "Thanks be to God."
(2007-09-27 19:21:42) pastrbillyreuben: I'm sorry, but I don't know all your false Catholic prayers and audience responses.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Chicken?

Then you forfeit, St. Thomas Aquinas wins, and Landover Baptist Church is now St. Albert The Great Catholic Church!

Yes, and Mary was immaculately conceived and Jesus told us to worship her. How many bottles of the communion wine have you got through?

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

You seem to have a firmer grip on your alter boy's rear end than you do on reality.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Any sane person knows not to play a football game with Catholics if they wish to maintain their anal virginity.

Chicken?

Then you forfeit, St. Thomas Aquinas wins, and Landover Baptist Church is now St. Albert The Great Catholic Church!

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Any sane person knows not to play a football game with Catholics if they wish to maintain their anal virginity.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

I challenge your Landover Sultan Strom Thurmonds to a game against my St. Thomas Aquinas Knights in an exhibition game.

If you win, you get to ban me from the boards permanently.
But if I win, the Pastors have to hand over Landover Baptist's deed to me, and I will turn the building into STA's sister parish, St. Albert the Great Catholic Church.

Do you accept, or are you chicken?

If you accept, just get ahold of parishoner Michael Burmeister on Facebook, and you two will settle this over a game of Blackboard Football on there.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Remember that kid that threw the three interceptions at the beginning of last year? Did they ever find the face that went with that body they found?

I am personally outraged about how Wash was abused over that kid’s death. The Freehold County coroner ruled it a suicide, I mean the kid left a note saying he was sorry for letting Wash down like that. People need to stop it with the conspiracy theories.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Remember that kid that threw the three interceptions at the beginning of last year? Did they ever find the face that went with that body they found?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

I must insist that blacks do not have the mental capability to play such a demanding position. Name one professional football team that has ever won the Super Bowl with a black quarterback. Not to mention that the average feral street negro is not fit for playing sports like the superior white man and that the abilities of the black man are performed far better by Caucasians.

Not that I disagree with this, but many years of running from the long, white arm of the law have given the blackies some very fast legs. Perhaps if you set up a sort of basic bargaining system, you could take advantage of this. For every touchdown the little black urchin catches, he gets a new hubcap for his parents' car? Or a pie for every interception?

Thirdly I would like to say once and for all that I never tore the radio antenna off my car and used it to lash my starting quarterback during practice before a game and that the 50 parents and relatives that witnessed it were simply mistaking my coaching techniques as brutal punishment against a 9 year old.

A little encouragement never hurt anyone. We're not catholics here--we are a disciplined team with one goal in mind--winning! You can't have a disciplined team without just that--discipline. It's just logic.

Lastly I would like to clear up any confusion about the so called bribing I did in the 4th quarter of the first game. I know that from the untrained spectator or coach of the other team's eye it may have looked like I gave the referee several bags of unmarked bills and that suddenly our team received 14 points and then was given the ball on a wild "snapping the ball" penalty by the other team on the opposing team's one yard line capped by a 1 yard TD run by me but this is all lies and hearsay.

I was there and it was certainly Divine Intervention. I think all the dirty Jews said the same thing when God went "Yoink" and hauled His Son back up to Heaven before they could (temporarily) kill Him again.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Brother Jeb I thank you for looking out for me but it may be best if I nip the steroid use accusations in the bud too. In all honestly I thought that the human growth hormone and testosterone supplements I was feeding my running back and offensive line were Flinstones Chewable Vitamins.

It's great to see a man who cares so much about the health of the next generation. So, now that Dr. Laurie has retired, who will be supplying your vitamins? If you need new connections, just email me.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Keep up the good work.

I'm glad to see that you didn't answer accusations of steroid use. Don't dignify them with a response, I say.

Brother Jeb I thank you for looking out for me but it may be best if I nip the steroid use accusations in the bud too. In all honestly I thought that the human growth hormone and testosterone supplements I was feeding my running back and offensive line were Flinstones Chewable Vitamins.




I mean come on! Which is which? I can't tell them apart. Frankly I find the whole steroids thing to be absurd. Flinstones vitamins are OK but steroids are not? They do the same thing! Look at the Flinstones box- it even says it is "#1 for growing kids". Now compare that with the description for the steroids- "#1 for stimulating growth in humans and animals". What's the difference?!?!?!?! This is just another example of an honest and mounting mistake on my part. Either way I'm not letting that crate of human growth hormones go to waste and my team WILL finish them before they get their dessert.