The Rapture brought me BACK!!!

[Mistress Cookie]

Hello All, and PRAISE!

I'm writing this from Atlantic City (!!) where I woke up on Sunday in a humble hotel. The last thing I remember is scaling a wall in China (?) where I was having a dream I was breaking someone out of a prison or a nunnery or something It was horrible, with little yellow rats or something scurrying underfoot everywhere.

I've been reading the papers here, and I don't know where our dear Pastors and Male Elders stand on this, but something must have happened on Rapture Day, Saturday, May 21, 2011, to bring me back. This article says:

Camping said that he's now realized the apocalypse will come five months after May 21, the original date he predicted. Saturday was "an invisible judgment day" in which a spiritual judgment took place, he said...May 21 is the day that Christ came and put the world under judgment."

I think perhaps our Precious Precious Lord™ in his infinate love and care saved me from the memories of the heathen land I was in (?) and whisked me back to the holy U.S.A....and there's also a wedding ring on my finger! Was it a gift from God™??? Do I have to give it back?

Is there any Biblical prophesy or passage that explains anything like this??

I'm so glad to be back in God™s favorite country, among real Christians again, could someone send a plane for me?
.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Rapture brought me BACK!!!

Be careful out there sister. Atlantic City is full of joos.

[Felicity]

Re: The Rapture brought me BACK!!!

I am so happy Jesus brought you back to us!

Do the people in China smell as bad as they say they do?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Rapture brought me BACK!!!

You are lucky you didn't wind up in Denmark or North Korea or Australia (or anywhere like that )

WELCOME BACK

There is a passage in Acts that might be illuminating

ACTS 8 26-40
And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet. Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot. And Philip ran thither to him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest ? And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him. The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth: In his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth. And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the prophet this? of himself, or of some other man? Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing. But Philip was found at Azotus: and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea.

Shout “Glory!”

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The Rapture brought me BACK!!!

My goodness, Mistress Cookie, you have been to some dangerous places. I'm so happy God has watched over you.

A plane? Yes, we can do that. Call my office and arrangements will be made.