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Friends,
I have decided to run for office, yes - even at my youthful age. Why? I am tired of the current state of affairs not only nationally, but locally. Let me explain, if you will indulge me.
One of the individuals running for office in my area is an openly Islamic fellow, Abdullah Al-Mahal Jones. He was formerly Southern Baptist but has since converted to the satanic rituals of the mooselimbs. Believe it or not, he wants to see this area become predominantly Islamic and he will use public office to spread his lies and false religion.
Running against Jones is a feminazi Lesbian, Julia "Tank" McCorkle. She is Irish. 6'2, 280 pounds, and has a penchant for wearing a lot of men's cologne (Stetson). Her agenda is no less disturbing; she wants to allow the local Metropolitan Community Church (where she sometimes serves communion) to build a youth center as an addition to their current building in the gay ghetto. She calls it a place where "gay youth can know safety, security, and love in the name of Jesus." ROFL. As if a Lesbian could ever know what love truly is - particularly the love of our Savior and Messiah. Oy! What does she know from love? Nothing. Meh!
Perhaps even more disturbing is the ecumenical Presbyterian minister that is also running for office in my hometown. His platform? One world government, one religion, (not Christianity, but a mixture of all faiths), and acceptance for homos, the disabled, and the mentally disturbed. (May God Himself help us). So you see, I have decided to speak out for Christ. I am starting a new party called the Jesus First Party. Under my administration, all people will be required to repent of their sins, be baptized, attend church 3 times weekly, and - an idea that came to me last night - tithe to Landover Baptist Church. There will be uniform styles of dress. Profanity is disallowed. No dancing, smoking, drinking, pre-marital relations, or gambling. Homers would be put in camps, where universal precautions against the aids would be mandatory. Joos will be required to attend courses that will teach them to renounce their joo-past, and embrace Christ as Messiah.
Would you be willing to sign a petition so that I might be placed on the ballot? I have three signatures thus far by the Grace of God. One is my Baptist landlady, one is my pastor, and one is from some homeless guy that was stealing from the fruit stand down the street from me (I just happened to have it with me when he had a moment free while he was being arrested). This would be for the glory of God, and not for any personal gain or selfish reason. Our LORD deserves men like me: handsome, charismatic, good with numbers, and despisers of homosexuality/other grievous sin. Think and pray about it. I can send the petition electronically but you will have to sign and mail it back per the regulations. Thank you for serving GOD and for your support.
I have decided to run for office, yes - even at my youthful age. Why? I am tired of the current state of affairs not only nationally, but locally. Let me explain, if you will indulge me.
One of the individuals running for office in my area is an openly Islamic fellow, Abdullah Al-Mahal Jones. He was formerly Southern Baptist but has since converted to the satanic rituals of the mooselimbs. Believe it or not, he wants to see this area become predominantly Islamic and he will use public office to spread his lies and false religion.
Running against Jones is a feminazi Lesbian, Julia "Tank" McCorkle. She is Irish. 6'2, 280 pounds, and has a penchant for wearing a lot of men's cologne (Stetson). Her agenda is no less disturbing; she wants to allow the local Metropolitan Community Church (where she sometimes serves communion) to build a youth center as an addition to their current building in the gay ghetto. She calls it a place where "gay youth can know safety, security, and love in the name of Jesus." ROFL. As if a Lesbian could ever know what love truly is - particularly the love of our Savior and Messiah. Oy! What does she know from love? Nothing. Meh!
Perhaps even more disturbing is the ecumenical Presbyterian minister that is also running for office in my hometown. His platform? One world government, one religion, (not Christianity, but a mixture of all faiths), and acceptance for homos, the disabled, and the mentally disturbed. (May God Himself help us). So you see, I have decided to speak out for Christ. I am starting a new party called the Jesus First Party. Under my administration, all people will be required to repent of their sins, be baptized, attend church 3 times weekly, and - an idea that came to me last night - tithe to Landover Baptist Church. There will be uniform styles of dress. Profanity is disallowed. No dancing, smoking, drinking, pre-marital relations, or gambling. Homers would be put in camps, where universal precautions against the aids would be mandatory. Joos will be required to attend courses that will teach them to renounce their joo-past, and embrace Christ as Messiah.
Would you be willing to sign a petition so that I might be placed on the ballot? I have three signatures thus far by the Grace of God. One is my Baptist landlady, one is my pastor, and one is from some homeless guy that was stealing from the fruit stand down the street from me (I just happened to have it with me when he had a moment free while he was being arrested). This would be for the glory of God, and not for any personal gain or selfish reason. Our LORD deserves men like me: handsome, charismatic, good with numbers, and despisers of homosexuality/other grievous sin. Think and pray about it. I can send the petition electronically but you will have to sign and mail it back per the regulations. Thank you for serving GOD and for your support.
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