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  • Alvin Moss
    Serving Jesus
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2013
    • 4468

    #1

    God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

    God became so wroth with Harry Reid, the falsetto voiced head Democrat of the Senate, that He caused a part of Mr. Reid's exercise equipment to break and catapult him across the room. Now, instead of being a hateful little old man with a girly voice, he is a hateful little old man with a girly voice, one eye and some fine bruises. His will be done. Glory!
    God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
  • Jim Farmer
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2293

    #2
    Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

    I don't believe his story about the exercise equipment. He's a mormon and as such is a homer (as we know all mormon men are homers), confirmed by his girly voice. He probably suffered his injury in a tiff with his boyfriend.
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
      True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
       
      • Jul 2014
      • 8380

      #3
      Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

      Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
      I don't believe his story about the exercise equipment. He's a mormon and as such is a homer (as we know all mormon men are homers), confirmed by his girly voice. He probably suffered his injury in a tiff with his boyfriend.
      Me neither, Brother Jim. Here's what he said:

      I’ve been using for the last three or [so] plus years, these bands. I use one that’s the second-strongest you can get, it’s dark grey. Anyway, I do those things hundreds of times three days a week. I do different routines. And I was doing almost finished at my new home in Nevada and the band broke and it catapulted me backwards and to one side.
      What or who is this "band" he goes on about, that fired him across the room like a missile with a faulty French-made guidance system? Is it some part of the infamous and unGodly "magic" underwear favored by his kind, or is it a group of lusty young men in some sort of perverted formation? Like you, I suspect the latter. The broken ribs might possibly be caused by the band snapping, but the eye injury was most likely the result of a smack in the face from one of his wives, when she heard the racket and saw what was going on.

      Honestly, I think the best thing we can do for these mormen is get them a spaceship and sell them tickets to whatever planet they think they come from, then fire them up into the firmament. Maybe the bearded weirdo Richard Branson could organize it? It would be a kindness in the long run.
      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

      Comment

      • Alvin Moss
        Serving Jesus
        True Christian™
        • Aug 2013
        • 4468

        #4
        Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

        He may have been referring to a band of strong men. There may be such a band in his pay, there to indulge his deviant fantasies.
        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78553

          #5
          Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

          Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
          I don't believe his story about the exercise equipment. He's a mormon and as such is a homer (as we know all mormon men are homers), confirmed by his girly voice. He probably suffered his injury in a tiff with his boyfriend.
          That's what I think. Most likely it was a spat between limp-wristed queers. All Demoncrats are queer, this is a well-established fact.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Regis Alexandrus
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Dec 2014
            • 218

            #6
            Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

            Perhaps God is telling him to repent from his career democratic membership and policies. We should pray for Senator Reid's conversion and repentance.
            Revelation 19:15 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God."

            Comment

            • Jim Farmer
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2014
              • 2293

              #7
              Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

              A very good point, Mr Alexandrus.
              Indeed, it may well have been God that flung him across the room.
              sigpic

              Comment

              • Regis Alexandrus
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Dec 2014
                • 218

                #8
                Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
                A very good point, Mr Alexandrus.
                Indeed, it may well have been God that flung him across the room.
                But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward.

                Jeremiah 7:24
                Revelation 19:15 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God."

                Comment

                • Alvin Moss
                  Serving Jesus
                  True Christian™
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 4468

                  #9
                  Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                  When one looks at Harry Reid, it is hard to imagine a scenario in which he is not hated by God. God hates sissies, Democrats and all whiney weenies. There can be no doubt that this is God's work. Perhaps the Lord intends to punish Senator Reid some before He finally calls him home.
                  God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                  Comment

                  • Alvin Moss
                    Serving Jesus
                    True Christian™
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 4468

                    #10
                    Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                    The godless sinner Harry Reid is scheduled to have a false eye implanted in his head next Monday. He says the surgery he is to undergo will help him with his eye sight. It is, of course, well known that Senator Reid lost his eye as a result of God's righteous wrath, but he may believe that no one knows.

                    I believe that the real question is whether this false eye is also a camera that is connected to his head somehow. Will he really be able to see through it? Or will it turn out to be just more lies?
                    God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                    Comment

                    • Johny Joe Hold
                      Mayor of Freehold
                       
                      • Feb 2010
                      • 12490

                      #11
                      Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                      I'm thinking they will want to make Reid better looking than he is now. Perhaps they will just reinstall his one good eye in the middle of his forehead.
                      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                      Comment

                      • Alvin Moss
                        Serving Jesus
                        True Christian™
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 4468

                        #12
                        Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                        These Yankees mock God with their Frankenstein creation. He will likely smite them. Surly, He will finally send at least a good whirlwind among them. Better that the entire God forsaken City of Washington, D.C be swallowed by the sea or ravaged by pillars of fire. We can only pray for justice.
                        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                        Comment

                        • knob polisher
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Jun 2014
                          • 171

                          #13
                          Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                          I'm told Harry Reid has done good work in making sure blacks have equal seating at the table or opportunity.

                          Comment

                          • Alvin Moss
                            Serving Jesus
                            True Christian™
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 4468

                            #14
                            Re: God Strikes Down Harry Reid and Plucks Out an Eye

                            Originally posted by knob polisher View Post
                            I'm told Harry Reid has done good work in making sure blacks have equal seating at the table or opportunity.

                            You were told a lie, friend. He is one of the Devil's people.
                            God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                            Comment

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