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4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics
You might have seen a thread here called "Read this before you flame us!" It really needs to be updated, but the main point stands: True Christians are no more right-wing than tens of millions of rank-and-file Republicans. The only difference is that we don't hide our true feelings.
For the last half-century Republicans have promised to return America to 1950, but have not admitted that we mean 1950 BC.
"You're Fired!"
Donald Trump leads in the polls because he's doing what True Christians do: the same things as other Republicans, only honestly.
4 facts we no longer have to hide:
1. Social conservatism is just slogans. True Republicans don't care about philandering, divorce, gambling or ties to organized crime. Who cares if Donald Trump owns casinos, does business with the Mafia, and trades in his old wife for a younger model every decade? That sort of thing would destroy a politician's career in the 1950's, but not in 1950 BC.
Take that, ISIS! Our sultan has the better Harem!
I'm so old I remember when conservatives valued being polite, chivalrous towards women, and restrained. Some sort of gibberish about "keeping discourse at a high tone" or something. Rush Limbaugh got that nonsense out of our culture, and now Donald Trump is working to remove it from politics.
2. The Republican Party is a single issue party. That single issue is kicking out the Mexicans. All of them. He's waffled and flip-flopped on everything else, but that's fine because everything else is irrelevant.
R.I.N.O. cuckservative Republicans talk tough on illegal immigration, but of course it's the legal ones that pose the real threat. Legal immigrants can vote, they can join unions, they can become respectable and therefore influential.
Illegal immigrants work for us and cost next to nothing. If they get uppity, we can get them deported. That's why Republicans didn't do anything about illegal immigration when we had total power in 2001 through 2007. Remember that? The Republican Party had overwhelming control of every branch of government. Why didn't we do so much as build a speedbump? Because we have a completely different plan.
The perfect solution is to strip citizenship rights from all immigrants - going all the way back to whatever ship arrived right after the Mayflower. This isn't politically feasible at the moment, but Donald Trump's "deport 'em all and let God sort 'em out" approach is a good way to start.
3. Working class Republicans are the real cuckolds.
You know how women love you more and more the worse you treat them? Turns out that submissive, masochistic tendency also exists among working-class Republicans. Why else have a crush on a guy who is famous for being the boss from hell, and brutally firing people?
Notice how he's especially rough on women. Kicking around women is probably where he learned the art of manipulating the submissive personality. It's certainly where I did.
4. Corruption is okay now.
If the failure of every attempt at campaign finance reform has taught us anything, it's that the best place for bribery and corruption isn't smoke-filled back rooms. Corruption is best done in plain sight. Donald Trump embraces this by bragging about his corruptibility:
Time to check if there's any nowhere islands near your house, because for the next 8 years we might run out of nowheres to build bridges to.
Why waste time with competitive contracting, when politicians can just award contracts to themselves? About about time we stopped pretending to fight corruption. Bush pretended to fight corruption and his attack on the world's weakest military power went overtime by 8 years and over budget by 3 Trillion bucks ($3,000,000,000,000).
Surely we'll get more opportunities for "financial irregularities" from a guy who BRAGS about corruption.
More advice: work on your horse-judging skills. FEMA is going to need a new head, after all.
For the last half-century Republicans have promised to return America to 1950, but have not admitted that we mean 1950 BC.
"You're Fired!"
4 facts we no longer have to hide:
1. Social conservatism is just slogans. True Republicans don't care about philandering, divorce, gambling or ties to organized crime. Who cares if Donald Trump owns casinos, does business with the Mafia, and trades in his old wife for a younger model every decade? That sort of thing would destroy a politician's career in the 1950's, but not in 1950 BC.
Take that, ISIS! Our sultan has the better Harem!
2. The Republican Party is a single issue party. That single issue is kicking out the Mexicans. All of them. He's waffled and flip-flopped on everything else, but that's fine because everything else is irrelevant.
R.I.N.O. cuckservative Republicans talk tough on illegal immigration, but of course it's the legal ones that pose the real threat. Legal immigrants can vote, they can join unions, they can become respectable and therefore influential.
Illegal immigrants work for us and cost next to nothing. If they get uppity, we can get them deported. That's why Republicans didn't do anything about illegal immigration when we had total power in 2001 through 2007. Remember that? The Republican Party had overwhelming control of every branch of government. Why didn't we do so much as build a speedbump? Because we have a completely different plan.
The perfect solution is to strip citizenship rights from all immigrants - going all the way back to whatever ship arrived right after the Mayflower. This isn't politically feasible at the moment, but Donald Trump's "deport 'em all and let God sort 'em out" approach is a good way to start.
3. Working class Republicans are the real cuckolds.
You know how women love you more and more the worse you treat them? Turns out that submissive, masochistic tendency also exists among working-class Republicans. Why else have a crush on a guy who is famous for being the boss from hell, and brutally firing people?
"I'd look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I'd say, 'Rosie, you're fired.'" - Donald Trump
Notice how he's especially rough on women. Kicking around women is probably where he learned the art of manipulating the submissive personality. It's certainly where I did.
4. Corruption is okay now.
If the failure of every attempt at campaign finance reform has taught us anything, it's that the best place for bribery and corruption isn't smoke-filled back rooms. Corruption is best done in plain sight. Donald Trump embraces this by bragging about his corruptibility:
“If you can’t get rich dealing with politicians, there’s something wrong with you.” - Donald Trump
Time to check if there's any nowhere islands near your house, because for the next 8 years we might run out of nowheres to build bridges to.
"I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively." - Donald Trump
Why waste time with competitive contracting, when politicians can just award contracts to themselves? About about time we stopped pretending to fight corruption. Bush pretended to fight corruption and his attack on the world's weakest military power went overtime by 8 years and over budget by 3 Trillion bucks ($3,000,000,000,000).
Surely we'll get more opportunities for "financial irregularities" from a guy who BRAGS about corruption.
More advice: work on your horse-judging skills. FEMA is going to need a new head, after all.
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