God Issues Final Warning To Yankees-Hurls Their Train Off The Tracks!

[Alvin Moss]

I saw the man on the six o'clock news tonight and he said that some kind of Yankee train up in Vermont was thrown off it's tracks. Well, I imagine that most True Christians have never has occasion to be involved with railroad tracks, but I can tell you from experience that those tracks are hard and they don't break and trains don't just come off of them without a reason.

It is all a great puzzlement for the Yankees and they are studying the issue to find out the cause. They are wasting their time, atheists that they are, because they will never figure it out. It was the hand of Almighty God that threw their train to the side of the road. I believe that this is a final warning from God before He sends great pillars of fire to destroy those wretches.

I believe that the immediate cause of this demonstration, though it is unlikely that this has not been brewing for some time, is the fact that Bernie Sanders, who is a communist and a Senator from Vermont, is running for the Democrat nomination for President. Democrats love communists and that is one reason that God hates them. God must truly despise Bernie Sanders.

I believe that this incident is a warning, direct from God, to the Yankees and other Democrats, especially those in godless Vermont. Since they are mostly heathen atheists, I believe that the warning will fall on deaf ears and chaos will ensue. Damn their black souls, it's about time.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: God Issues Final Warning To Yankees-Hurls Their Train Off The Tracks!

My company just last month won the no-bid contract to run the newly privatized fire department in Northfield, Vermont. Naturally, we had to take on a lot of new hires, and due to liberal-leftist minimum wage laws it was hard to find qualified people who could speak English and work for less than $1 per hour, so we were forced to take on a bunch of beaner employees. Of course, we checked to make sure they were legal - and sure enough they produced ID and social security cards. I admit, it was rather peculiar how they all had the same name, address and social security number, but hey, beaners tend to inbreed a lot and it would have been culturally insensitive of us to ask too many questions.

The good thing about beaners is that they're are hard working folks - especially when you remind them that we can call the INS storm troopers (also now privatized and run by my company) at any time. However, sometimes it's hard to communicate with wetbacks, and apparently a few had difficulty understanding the English-only online firefighting course we required them to complete in order to get certified.

Thus, a few mistakes were made while putting out a fire in the vicinity of the railroad tracks...



Whoopsie! Well at least it was only an Amtrak commuter train. Imagine how much worse it might have turned out had it been one of my company's toxic waste or military explosives transporters! Of course, we tend to run those only at night, unlabeled, in order to avoid unnecessarily alarming the public. As they say, "what you don't know won't hurt you."

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: God Issues Final Warning To Yankees-Hurls Their Train Off The Tracks!

Brother Fred, I hope you sued socialist Amtrak for damage to the fire hose. It's time Obama and his commie Big Guvmint "public transportation" are held accountable for all the harm they do to private enterprise. As for all them passengers injured on the train - well boohoo, next time behave like respectable Americans and drive a car. Trains are for Euroweenies!