President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

[Johny Joe Hold]

This is the time in our history to move the level of legal expertise on the Supreme Court to a higher plain. It is the perfect moment for Obama to nominate the man who has become his friend, President George W. Bush.

President Bush knows about laws, he signed many of them as a Governor and President. He is a Christian and is against both abortion and homer marriage. We Republicans need to get behind this nomination and make it happen.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

I was thinking along similar lines, Mr. Mayor, but not as inspired as yourself. My thought was Alberto Gonzales, the legal genius behind ending 1000 years of habeus corpus in Western civilization on the grounds that the Constitution only prevents "suspending" it but doesn't explicitly say it was ever granted in the first place. And obviously getting enhanced water boarding back in legal... waters..., if you will, after we hanged foreign war criminals for it a mere 50 years ago. This guy can play the short game too.

But George W. Bush would clearly be a superior choice. His gut-like brain is legendary.

[Nobar King]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

We would all love that!

[Free Market Fred]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

Of course, George W Bush would make a great Supreme Court Justice. As president, he clearly understood that the Constitution is just a piece of paper. And best of all, he knew that Big Guvmint was the enemy, the free market is our friend, and the perfect solution to all problems is deregulation and privatization.

That's why he worked so hard first to pass the Patriot Act, and then to privatize the military. The magnificent victory in Iraq proved just how successful that strategy was - it was my company's most profitable war to date.

To have a strong military, you also need a strong prison system. I'm proud to say that privatizing the prisons has resulted in the USA becoming the world's largest employer of slave labor, surpassing even Stalin's innovative gulag system. Furthermore, we've privatized parole and probation, so that even when our prisoners are not behind bars, we can charge them "probation management fees" - that's right, make them pay for the privilege of not being locked up! As they say, "Freedom isn't free!"

Thus sooner, rather than later, we are going to get the average wage in America down to less than what Chinks earn. At that point we will no longer need China, and can start bombing them!

Guvmint costs money, which is why it needs to be abolished. We've made great progress, but unfortunately the process is incomplete. Liberals in Congress prevented privatization of Socialist Security, for example. Nevertheless, thanks to the "revolving door," we've managed to accomplish by stealth the next best thing - a presidential cabinet composed of Wall Street executives. This actually has certain advantages over full privatization, since we can easily tap bailout funds which might not otherwise be available to us if we didn't have our people in place to force taxpayers to make up for our losses.

So really, the question we should all be asking: "Isn't it time to privatize the Supreme Court?" By doing that, we could settle important legal cases with "binding arbitration" rather than a messy public trial. Furthermore, we could classify Supreme Court decisions as "trade secrets" thus avoiding unpleasant publicity when, for example, we sentence socialists like Bernie Sanders to life imprisonment for threatening free-trade agreements.

Thus, privatization of the judicial system could be counted on to improve corporate quarterly results, maximize shareholder value, and increase national security! Looks like a win-win-win to me!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

Of course, George W Bush would make a great Supreme Court Justice. ... best of all, he knew that Big Guvmint was the enemy, the free market is our friend, and the perfect solution to all problems is deregulation and privatization.

To have a strong military, you also need a strong prison system. I'm proud to say that privatizing the prisons has resulted in the USA becoming the world's largest employer of slave labor, surpassing even Stalin's innovative gulag system.

Guvmint costs money, which is why it needs to be abolished.
!

Thank you Free Market Fred. On top of all those solutions, President Bush when he was Governor of Texas, put churches in charge of rehabilitating prisnors. This was management genius.

As one official in charge of the religious training in prisons said, "We can rehabilitate any kind of criminal. Child molesters? Yes, them too. Our business is sin. We get rid of it. Child molesters are sinners just like bank robbers. We can get them right with Jesus."

People in Texas felt they were safer when prisoners walked out early with Bibles under their arms.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

Thank you Free Market Fred. On top of all those solutions, President Bush when he was Governor of Texas, put churches in charge of rehabilitating prisnors. This was management genius.

As one official in charge of the religious training in prisons said, "We can rehabilitate any kind of criminal. Child molesters? Yes, them too. Our business is sin. We get rid of it. Child molesters are sinners just like bank robbers. We can get them right with Jesus."

People in Texas felt they were safer when prisoners walked out early with Bibles under their arms.

Absolutely spot-on analysis, Brother Johny! One of the first things we are going to have to do after we've privatized the Supreme Court is to do away with this silly notion about "the separation of Church and State." I don't really understand where that nonsense came from. It says right there on US currency, "In God We Trust," and if you can't trust money, who can you trust?


As for reforming prisoners, yes indeed, we always try to get our locked-up slave labor to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. We even give them points for parole and probation if they get on board with the God program. After conducting numerous studies, we've come to the conclusion that prisoners who have been "saved" are easier to manage and make better workers. Plus, they don't even blame us for sentencing them to 25 years for possession of pot, even when the police planted it on them. They just attribute their misfortune to "God's will" and accept that they're being punished for their sins!

Really, not even the mind-control drugs we distribute to the public as "food additives" are as effective as Jesus. The Bible - it's truly a miracle!

P.S. About child molesters - one of our great new innovations is to prosecute 16-year-olds for taking nude photos of themselves. I admit, it took cheek to find judges willing to convict a teenager of molesting him/herself, but so far it's been a great success! After all, younger prisoners are generally more capable workers - we aren't keen to staff our prison factories with geriatrics. In order to recruit more able-bodied slaves, we're thinking of expanding the definition of "child molesters" by raising the age of consent to 35, but we'll wait until after the November elections to make the change.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

Don't get me wrong-- I, too, think George W. Bush would be a fabulous jurist on the nation's highest court. He is not a lawyer, but no one can deny the depth of his thinking and intellect. The only problem I could see is that Mr. Bush will be 70 years old in July. Although Mr. Bush is in top physical condition from his years of strenuous brush-clearing on his Crawford ranch, I think we need a younger man-- in his 40s or 30s-- who would impact the Court for 50 years or more. I'm for anyone who will keep mid-20th Century morals dictating the later half of the 21st Century.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: President George W. Bush for the Supreme Court

He is not a lawyer, but no one can deny the depth of his thinking and intellect. The only problem I could see is that Mr. Bush will be 70 years old in July.

In all due respect, Brother Worthington, I know you are well aware there is no requirement that Supreme Court Judges be lawyers. In the case of President Bush, his advanced degree is in Businss Administration. What could be better than a Jurist who appreciates the burdens that regulations put on business.

As to his age, we both know of Jurists who have, as the press puts it, grown in the job. We don't want younger judges who learn and grow as the years pass. President Bush was doing the same things when he left office as he did at the start, ordering unsuccessful invasions and leaving children behind. He would never change.