[PetitionLady]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

I was just thinking that some people say that Donald has become too elitist and has lost touch with us normal folk. Maybe it would help if he started making fun of the people in New Jersey.

The "some people" you speak of are LYING liberal media hacks. We know what God says about LIARS.

YSIC

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

The "some people" you speak of are LYING liberal media hacks. We know what God says about LIARS.

YSIC

Yes and we must oppose them with the truth. But Satan is strong and the truth is often not enough. Do we not have one of the Devil's people as president now? Did not a communist Christ killer get enough votes to win the Democrat nomination, if not for the corruption of that party? Are we any less damaged by these Satanists because we tell the truth? Though we serve Jesus, we are not required to stand quietly while we are attacked and defiled by the Devil and his people. God wants us to fight Satan and Donald Trump is our champion. We must do all in our power to bring Mr. Trump into a position to destroy Satan and his people.


I have another idea and it may seem cynical, but I think we should use one of the Democrat's most powerful weapons against them. While Christians want to hear the whole story, many voters are not Christian and they don't know how to get the whole story. This is why the story of all Democrat and other communist programs will easily fit on a bumper sticker. What is on the bumper sticker is the whole story and they don't bother to go any further. An example would be: "The Rich Don't Pay Their Fair Share". The rich actually pay most of the income taxes and Democrats pay almost nothing, but even though Democrats don't pay anything, they still believe the bumper sticker. By not providing any hard facts with their lie, it becomes difficult to counter with fools.


We need the fool vote, too.


Donald Trump should shorten his explanations and not confuse the unwashed. He has a lot of truth to impart, but sometimes, less truth may be more effective.

[PetitionLady]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Brother Alvin, very well said and thought out. Thank you.

I don't suppose the fools would understand a bumper sticker that says, "I will keep the money I earn." pffffft - they don't work so they have no first hand knowledge of "earn."

If Mr. Trump weren't winning by a landslide already, I'd be worried. The Hillary satanists can't fill a thrift shop to see her while Mr. Trump needs a stadium. Those supporters waiting hours and hours to see him will surely wait a few minutes to vote for him come November.

This will not be a close race. IF Hillary is still alive and not in a neuro-coma by November, she will once again be tossed in the Loser Pile and heading straight to hell from whence she came.

PRAISE GOD!

Thank you again, YSIC

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Trump: No White House? Then a 'very nice long vacation'

(CNN)Donald Trump offered a fatalistic assessment of his personal and political future on Thursday, saying he will not abandon the controversial style that fueled his ascent despite lagging poll numbers and a string of damaging controversies.

And if that means losing to Hillary Clinton in November, Trump told CNBC: "I'm going to have a very, very nice long vacation."

My advice to Mr. Trump would be to spend some quality time on Richard Branson's Necker Island. At $65k a night, he could drop one of his multiple billions and stay there for 42 years. That's the kind of retreat from the world that only a Republican ex-president could dream of.

George W Bush - presumed nervous breakdown and alcoholism followed by full-time painting therapy in his barricaded Dallas estate.

George HW Bush - retired, chairman of some podunk charity and opened one little bullshit library.

Ronald Reagan - rode ponies and cleared brush non-stop until he went insane and died.

Gerald Ford - chairman of the same podunk charity as Bush, played golf, wrote a book of jokes.

Richard Nixon - wrote a book and went on TV a few times. Appeared to go insane after 2001 when he said gays should be treated equally called the 2nd Iraq War a big mistake.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Brethren and Sisters!

I really don't think that we should be giving advice to a perfect True Believer™ and a Good Friend of Jesus Christ, The Donald. He is the one who is constantly giving the best of advice to World Leaders and whom Jesus also listens to avidly when He prepares for the End of Times Festivities (1 Thessalonians 4:17). In addition, our own Beloved Pastor Ezekiel is, as we write our posts, working alongside The Donald to develop his policies towards absolute perfection!

However, there is one thing that The Donald and we all should remember during these desperate times: The purifying déluge of Justified War. I am looking forward to The Donald's announcement which insignificant Caribbean nation he'll decimate as his first act as POTUS.

Proverbs 20:18
Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.

This is the toy of choice for our youth and I am sure that The Donald would also appreciate one of these on his desktop!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[PetitionLady]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

With Mr. Trump's upcoming landslide victory, during his inauguration week, he should offer up his new hotel on PA Avenue, free of charge, to his most loyal supporters. Of course, that gorgeous hotel won't be able to hold all of us, so there should be a drawing or contest of sorts.

We know how very generous Mr. Trump is, so he has probably already thought of this.

TRUMP 2016!

YSIC

[handmaiden]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

As many active Christians are aware, I have had my doubts about Mr. Donald Trump, largely stemming from the fact that he is a loud mouthed Yankee. However, at this point, it seems that our choice for President is between two loud mouthed Yankees. The question then is- Which one is worse? Obviously, no Christian, or any real American for that matter, could vote for Hillary Clinton.


It is quite clear that Mr. Donald Trump is not receiving good, Christian advice and I believe that, as the leading Christian organization in America, it is up to the members of the Landover Baptist Church to offer good advice to Mr. Trump.


I pray that the thoughtful members of our church will assist me in offering that advice on this thread.


My first advice is that he make it clear that he will prosecute Hillary Clinton once he is elected. I also believe that the public would be relieved if Mr. Trump would promise to destroy Brazil with thermonuclear weapons in response to the looming Zika threat. I have plenty of other advice, but I don't want to dominate the discourse.


What is your opinion?

I have very few opinions that have not been properly vetted by the higher masculine authority of my True Christian brothers.




Blankly yours,


Handmaiden


P.S. I do prefer Coke over Pepsi, but I am open to counsel in case Jesus has questions.
P.P.S. I also like Jiff extra crunchy.
P.P.P.S. The Heinz/Hunts controversy has always escaped me, but I will switch to mustard-- which I don't particularly like-- if necessary.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Handmaiden


P.S. I do prefer Coke over Pepsi, but I am open to counsel in case Jesus has questions.
P.P.S. I also like Jiff extra crunchy.
P.P.P.S. The Heinz/Hunts controversy has always escaped me, but I will switch to mustard-- which I don't particularly like-- if necessary.

We are in complete agreement Sistren except for the part about mustard. I do not eat mustard at all. These are the best reasons that I have seen yet for voting for Hillary Clinton. I have no overstanding of how someone who likes ketchup could vote for Donald Trump.

[PetitionLady]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Dear Sister Handmaiden, I found out about the confusion regarding Heinz/Hunts. My dad explained it in detail. You see, John Kerry's wife has ownership in Heinz, therefore it should be boycotted.

As much as Kerry hates America is the same level we boycott Heinz.

That was easy.

YSIC

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

It has become quite clear that God's people will vote for His candidate-Donald Trump. It is not necessary to offer prizes or other blandishments. It is equally clear that Satan's followers will vote for his candidate-Hillary Clinton. Sadly, the election will be decided (as usual) by people who have no particular belief about anything and are only annoyed that their viewing of The Wheel of Fortune with Pat Sajac may be delayed if the voting lines are long. This is a disgrace, but it is one we must deal with.


I believe that Donald Trump would win by a vast landslide if he were to offer a free credit of $100 to every registered voter at one of his casinos if he wins. Also, the offer of a free pina colada would clinch the deal. This plan would cost the Donald nothing! He would just win back the $100 credit and then he would win enough extra to pay for the pina coladas. He would be the most beloved president since Ronald Regan and right from the first day of his term. It is totally a winning combination and the Donald should make the announcement immediately.

[handmaiden]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

It has become quite clear that God's people will vote for His candidate-Donald Trump. It is not necessary to offer prizes or other blandishments. It is equally clear that Satan's followers will vote for his candidate-Hillary Clinton. Sadly, the election will be decided (as usual) by people who have no particular belief about anything and are only annoyed that their viewing of The Wheel of Fortune with Pat Sajac may be delayed if the voting lines are long. This is a disgrace, but it is one we must deal with.


I believe that Donald Trump would win by a vast landslide if he were to offer a free credit of $100 to every registered voter at one of his casinos if he wins. Also, the offer of a free pina colada would clinch the deal. This plan would cost the Donald nothing! He would just win back the $100 credit and then he would win enough extra to pay for the pina coladas. He would be the most beloved president since Ronald Regan and right from the first day of his term. It is totally a winning combination and the Donald should make the announcement immediately.

Dear brother in Christ, I have read and attempted to understand what you have written. I just have one question: am I permitted to drink the pina colada?


Non-alcoholically-- or not-- yours,


Handmaiden

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Dear brother in Christ, I have read and attempted to understand what you have written. I just have one question: am I permitted to drink the pina colada?


Non-alcoholically-- or not-- yours,


Handmaiden

Presumably, this is a hypothetical question, as I am sure you would not need a bonus to vote for the Donald, being of the elect, as you are. There has been considerable discussion as to whether the Lord is in favor of drinking the alcohol or against it. Theoretically, you could drink the pina colada, as there is scripture permitting it. However, I believe that the Lord holds His chosen people to a higher standard and I would not personally drink alcohol, though there is some scriptural support for it. It seems chancy to me. The Lord could call us home at any time. Can you imagine going before Him for that final interview and have Him see you in your cups while He is deciding your fate?

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Brethren and Sisters!

I really don't think that we should be giving advice to a perfect True Believer™ and a Good Friend of Jesus Christ, The Donald. He is the one who is constantly giving the best of advice to World Leaders and whom Jesus also listens to avidly when He prepares for the End of Times Festivities (1 Thessalonians 4:17). In addition, our own Beloved Pastor Ezekiel is, as we write our posts, working alongside The Donald to develop his policies towards absolute perfection!

However, there is one thing that The Donald and we all should remember during these desperate times: The purifying déluge of Justified War. I am looking forward to The Donald's announcement which insignificant Caribbean nation he'll decimate as his first act as POTUS.

Proverbs 20:18
Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.

This is the toy of choice for our youth and I am sure that The Donald would also appreciate one of these on his desktop!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Sir, do you think my husband would mind too much if I printed it and left it at the breakfast table with your endorsement of the toy? I do not want to be a bother to him, as I try to be a quiet and meek wife (1 Peter 3:4) but my sons don't have this, and it seems to be a good toy for growing Christian soldiers but I'll defer to the men, who have larger and wiser brains than my puny female one.


Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Mr. Trump is a fine man for a Yankee and clearly the best choice for President. However, as a practical man, he is likely too focused on the here and now. Another piece of advice I would humbly offer him would be to apologize for the Yankee destruction of Texas and much of the South after the War of Northern Aggression. Such an apology would gain him much moral approval and add votes for his thrashing of the criminal Hillary Clinton. It may even have the effect of delaying the secession of Texas for a few more years.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Donald Trump Advice Thread

Mr. Trump is a fine man for a Yankee and clearly the best choice for President. However, as a practical man, he is likely too focused on the here and now. Another piece of advice I would humbly offer him would be to apologize for the Yankee destruction of Texas and much of the South after the War of Northern Aggression. Such an apology would gain him much moral approval and add votes for his thrashing of the criminal Hillary Clinton. It may even have the effect of delaying the secession of Texas for a few more years.

I don't know about you Brother Moss, but I think it is about time that this country compensate the South for Lincoln freeing the slaves. It was no doubt economically devastating that the South lost much of its capital investment, and probably led to the widespread use of polyester and "microfiber" that we see today - and the abomination of cotton / polyester blends.

Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together.

- Deuteronomy 22:11

Everyone in the South needs to dig out those old slave purchase receipts and get reimbursed. The Donald has promised to bring jobs back from Obamunism, and I can think of no better way than to recapitalize the South and bring back cotton.