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  • Alvin Moss
    Serving Jesus
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2013
    • 4468

    #1

    God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

    North Carolina has been looking a little purplish of late and the Lord God is apparently angry. Is anyone surprised? In His wisdom, God has not chosen to destroy North Carolina, probably owing to the large Christian population which resides in the hinterlands. Rather, He has sent a tropical storm to linger off the coast as a reminder of the power of His wrath. The storm is named Julia. Caesar was a member of the Julia family; he was called Julius but he was a Julia. I'm not sure what the message is there, perhaps one of the more learned pastors could opine.

    Now, Satan, in his turn, is sending Hillary Clinton among the North Carolinians. She is to fly there today, but she will not be going on her broom. She is weakened from old age and will be a passenger on a jet airplane if they can get her started. She will be there to deliver offers of bribes and lies. God will prevail, of course, but He may be angered by this display. These people should remember that the Lord can swerve that storm anywhere He wants.
    God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

    I'm praying the few Christian holdouts will survive the visit by Satan and his top ambassador Hillary, and those who have turned their backs on God will feel His Mighty Wrath upon their backs.

    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • I Man Rastafari
      Possibly retarded pothead
      • Oct 2015
      • 1019

      #3
      Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

      I have been to North Carolina. It is a hilly country where the white man has taken the higher elevations and relegated the Black man to the lower areas. This is because of racism. It is true that a hurricane would be disastrous for the Black man there and even worse because Black people in Babylon can not swim. But Jah will not drown his people and certainly not at such a crucial time when enough enlightened white people have come from Massachusetts and New York to allow us to wrest control from the old white men. The Black people will vote early and often for Hillary Clinton and she will win because she is for the people.
      Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

      Comment

      • Virginia Day Templeton
        Christ's Battle Axe
         
        • Dec 2006
        • 2827

        #4
        Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

        Originally posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
        The Black people will vote early and often for Hillary Clinton and she will win because she is for the people.
        Rastus, how many times did you vote for Obama?
        sigpic

        Comment

        • Roland
          Obese Swedish Meatball
          Delusional Forum Member
          • May 2014
          • 2193

          #5
          Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

          Originally posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
          [...]It is true that a hurricane would be disastrous for the Black man there and even worse because Black people in Babylon can not swim. [...]
          Hi Rastafari,

          Are you sure about that? Are you sure you are not reflecting your own shortcomings on others? Perhaps it is an area where you can improve yourself. Where I live, black people seem perfectly able to swim and looking at the recent Olympics, black people in the US too:



          Kind regards,

          Roland
          Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

          Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

          Comment

          • I Man Rastafari
            Possibly retarded pothead
            • Oct 2015
            • 1019

            #6
            Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

            Originally posted by Roland View Post
            Hi Rastafari,

            Are you sure about that? Are you sure you are not reflecting your own shortcomings on others? Perhaps it is an area where you can improve yourself. Where I live, black people seem perfectly able to swim and looking at the recent Olympics, black people in the US too:



            Kind regards,

            Roland

            Greetings my good friend Roland! I am afraid that I have been generalizing a little too much. I can swim because I am from Jamaica where the Black man has had to learn to swim. We have to swim for the coins that white tourists throw in the water from the cruise ships. Also there are some Black people in America who can swim but most Black people cannot swim. This is why we see so many Black people drowning in the lakes and at the beaches in Babylon every summer. They cannot swim but they like to get in the water anyway. This seems like a very bad idea but I am a foreigner and I do not overstand everything about America.
            Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

            Comment

            • I Man Rastafari
              Possibly retarded pothead
              • Oct 2015
              • 1019

              #7
              Re: God Sends Stern Warning To North Carolina, Satan Responds By Sending His Chief Demon!

              Originally posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
              Rastus, how many times did you vote for Obama?

              I have not yet had an opportunity to vote for Hillary Clinton as I cast both of my votes for Bernie Sanders but I intend to make up for that lapse soon.
              Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

              Comment

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