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  • Jesus and Linda Glocke defeat ISIS in Mosul, Iraq!

    In January, the year of our Lord 2015, Linda Glocke vowed to destroy ISIS.



    On July 9, two and a half short years later, Jesus answered her prayers in the affirmative!


    Why is this so important? Because it's proof positive that with Jesus, anything is possible (Matthew 19:26)! Think about it, some obscure, chunky, middle aged lady from the Midwest vows to defeat ISIS, a militaristic terrorist group from the Middle East. How nuts is that? It must be a pipe dream, right? But clearly she prayed to Jesus and put her faith in Him because only two and a half years later, Jesus answered her prayers!

    We know from the Holy Bible that nothing is impossible for God (Jeremiah 32:27). He created a serpent who can talk (Genesis 3:1), created thousands of languages out of one in a single afternoon (Genesis 11:1-9), forced the crusty, ancient, defiant womb of an old lady to become viable for a child (Genesis 18:14), rained fireballs from Heaven (Genesis 19:24; 2 Kings 1:10), infused bones with extra life-force (2 Kings 13:21), summoned forth fish ladened with treasure (Matthew 17:27), resurrected from the dead (Mark 16:5-7), and ascended up to Heaven one time, and yet miraculously on four different occasions (Luke 24:1-51; Mark 16:9-19; John 20:26; Acts 13:31; Acts 1:2-3, 9).

    My question is, why aren't more True Christians™ praying for ISIS to be defeated? I personally am too busy. I have many children to care for, train up, and a husband who is accustomed to his home being his castle. My Prayer Wall is already full. I'm just too busy. Jesus understands. I prayed about it once.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.


  • #2
    Re: Jesus and Linda Glocke defeat ISIS in Mosul, Iraq!

    On thing I do know as a True Christian™ is that God has a plan - but we don't often know just what that plan is. As with the "problems" in Northern Ireland some time back, it's was hard to know if we should have been praying for the protestants or the cathylicks.

    Similarly with ISIS, it's hard to know what exactly is going on there. Now I'm not one taken to studying the so-called mooselimb "holy book" (the Queer'an), but from what I can tell ISIS could be called the True Islam™ what with all the stonings, beheadings and what not that come under their Sharia Law. Now we are left with the Sunnis and Sheiites - and Lord knows who we should be praying for there (not to mention the Taliban). One thing you can usually count on with the mooselimbs is that there will not be any gays around.

    One thing we've come to understand, there is no "peace" with the "religion of peace". I'm particularly impressed with the Russian Military's leveling of the city of Grozny in Chechnya while dealing with some unruly mooselimbs. If anything, we should be praying for Putin - despite what some Democrats would have us believe.
    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
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