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  • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
    An old soul
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2013
    • 4920

    #1

    Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

    I've been thinking of making a children's book to explain politics to Trump supporters kids in a way they'll understand. It's slow going so far. I was thinking animals would be the theme because kids love that stuff.

    The lion with his glossy mane who lies about in the shade most of the day, generously sharing a meal not caught by him: no suprize, a liberal.

    The zebra, mean tempered conformity in a crisp outfit, God help you if you're the slowest, say hi to the lions for me: a conservative.

    I probably need a few more characters, elephants, donkeys, and some storylines before going to the publisher.
    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.
  • Dennis Lukes
    Innkeeper for Christ
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2018
    • 2379

    #2
    Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

    The bonobo, perverts who fornicate and masturbate at every opportunity with any available partner, all out of wedlock: obvious liberal.

    Chimpanzees will valiantly defend theirs homes and will launch preemptive raids against foreign tribes with valuable resources: conservative, specifically neoconservative.


    The gorilla, simple-minded, black-clad vegans who mostly sit around all day doing nothing, love to beat their chest in a foolish threat display: liberal antifa


    Orangutans are lone wolf survivalists who live off the land and off the grid, deep in the woods where the gubmint can't find them: conservative, libertarian
    I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
    Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
    But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
    From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

    Comment

    • Johny Joe Hold
      Mayor of Freehold
       
      • Feb 2010
      • 12503

      #3
      Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

      If I were using animals to teach Christian children I would use domesticated animals. Dogs look you in the eye like an honest conservative. Chickens, however, look at you with only one eye. What is the other eye doing? Perhaps looking for a way to double-cross you. Chickens are liberals
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment

      • Bezukhov
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Aug 2014
        • 85

        #4
        Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

        My cat is a Monarchist. He thinks he's King of the World.

        Comment

        • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
          An old soul
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2013
          • 4920

          #5
          Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

          Ghostly pale with a whitish face, chest, and belly, Barn Owls are silent predators of the night. This owl roosts in hidden, quiet places during daytime TV hours. Barn owls do not "hoot": Conservative.


          Sheeple: Liberal.
          If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

          Comment

          • WWJDnow
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Aug 2009
            • 6311

            #6
            Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

            Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
            The lion with his glossy mane who lies about in the shade most of the day, generously sharing a meal not caught by him: no suprize, a liberal.
            I disagree. The lionesses handle the food preparation while the lion defends the pride. That sounds like solid Biblical values to me!
            The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

            Comment

            • MitzaLizalor
              Completely CRAZY for the Lord
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2010
              • 14233

              #7
              Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

              Although not pets, rats lice and scabies are vermin.
              Code:
              I should mention that Canada and Australia both have Liberal parties that are not exactly "liberal" except occasionally or by accident. Similarly, although Australia doesn't have a Conservative party, England and Canada do but neither turnout holds to conservative Baptist values. New Zealand has no Conservative party as such (there's a crank outlier slightly less communistic that the rest) and the Falkland Islands are governed by Prerogative of Mercy. That means if someone breaks a law they are convicted and then shown mercy according to the number of sheep owned. [B][COLOR="Black"][SIZE="1"][hilite]POSTED FOR INFORMATION PURPOSES TO LESS FORTUNATE READERS[/hilite][/SIZE][/B]
              [/COLOR]Right. Now back to rats lice and scabies. Although not pets as such, these creatures have a long history of coexistence with humans (unlike zebras) and I'm classifying them as liberals.

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              a scabya rata louse

              Comment

              • WWJDnow
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Aug 2009
                • 6311

                #8
                Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
                The lion with his glossy mane who lies about in the shade most of the day, generously sharing a meal not caught by him: no suprize, a liberal.
                I disagree. The lionesses handles the food preparation while the lion defends the pride from armed black people. That sounds like solid Biblical values to me!
                The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                Comment

                • Romeo Rovagnati
                  Jesuit Insurgency Operative
                  Forum Member
                  • Aug 2016
                  • 658

                  #9
                  Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                  Sheeps are very conservative animals, they obey their Sheperd everytime.

                  Comment

                  • Dennis Lukes
                    Innkeeper for Christ
                    True Christian™
                    • Dec 2018
                    • 2379

                    #10
                    Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                    Originally posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
                    Sheeps are very conservative animals, they obey their Sheperd everytime.
                    Interesting point from the pedophile guy. I was all set to declare sheep liberals, but we do have the metaphor of the Christian as the sheep. So they could go either way. Sheep blindly following the Bible are conservative. Sheep blindly following scientists, and woke activists are liberal.
                    I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                    Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                    But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                    From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                    Comment

                    • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                      An old soul
                      True Christian™
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 4920

                      #11
                      Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                      Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                      Sheep blindly following the Bible are conservative. Sheep blindly following scientists, and woke activists are liberal.
                      This is going to make a very interesting plot twist, I can tell.
                      If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                      Comment

                      • MitzaLizalor
                        Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2010
                        • 14233

                        #12
                        Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                        These could be sheep and goats maybe? There's not much difference between a wild sheep and a wild goat.

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                        sheepgoat

                        Comment

                        • Unfalsifiable
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Jan 2008
                          • 836

                          #13
                          Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                          Bird
                          READ THE BIBLE

                          Comment

                          • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                            True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                             
                            • Jul 2014
                            • 8383

                            #14
                            Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                            What exactly are you trying to say there, Unfalsifiable?

                            I think we need to distinguish between serious, obedient, conservative, working dogs who live outdoors and those small, liberal, yapper-type dogs who are always demanding attention and shedding on the furniture.

                            Domestic cats are liberal autocrats by nature but can sometimes be cowed into conservatism. However, at that point one might as well have a dog instead.
                            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                            Comment

                            • Dennis Lukes
                              Innkeeper for Christ
                              True Christian™
                              • Dec 2018
                              • 2379

                              #15
                              Re: Which animals are conservative and which are liberal

                              While I previously characterized gorillas as liberals of the "Occupy" variety, please note that with sufficient training lowland gorillas can become extremely right wing. Like Clarence Thomas.
                              I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                              Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                              But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                              From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                              Comment

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