X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Pastoral Findings on the Election Debacle

    This is to inform you all that a True Christian™ Inquisition is being conducted over the next few weeks to investigate exactly who screwed up and gave the recent election to that negro socialist, Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

    To date, my findings are as follows:

    Sister M&M; Probably guilty of disseminating Hillary propaganda during the primaries, and whoring herself to the Obama gang during the general election. Crates of propaganda featuring Barack HUSSEIN Obama were found in her menstrual shack.

    Immediate demotion to Member status, pending final sentencing.

    Brother Temperance; Agitating and causing all of Europe to vote for Barack HUSSEIN Obama, while secretly being a hippie lawbreaker and layabout.

    Immediate demotion to Member status, pending final sentencing.

    Bobby Joe; Apparently insane, possibly from his undercover work in rooting out the RINOs among us. He's been shooting people's mailboxes because he believes that Barack HUSSEIN Obama is "hiding in them."

    Currently being held in the Landover Institution for the Insane, undergoing treatment.

    Pastor Wide-Open has been summoned to the Inquisition, and I expect his swift sentencing to be announced within hours.

    That is all.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Pastoral Findings on the Election Debacle

    Pastor, I simply refuse to come to the hearing. My name is clear, and you already found the culprits, so there is nothing to talk about.

    I will NOT have my good name dragged through the mud. This is my definitive answer.

    And even if I would want to come to the hearing - which I don't - I do not have the funds to fly to Freehold; Portway is currently still shitting himself hiding in his basement, and I have not received my salary since April, even though we have a black & white contract.

    I hope my answer puts this puppy to bed.

    YIC,

    Pastor Wide-Open

    Matthew 27:12
    And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing.
    Psalm 81:10:
    I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
    open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Pastoral Findings on the Election Debacle

      Oh LORD IN HEAVEN, we pray for you to deliver your sweet, sweet justice swiftly and clearly for all to see, that we may know who is a child of the king, and who is a perverted Harlem Harlot!

      Dear Heavenly Father, please hear our prayers for the safety of our families and for the wisdom of our True Christian inquisitors.

      In your Holy Name,

      Amen.
      sigpic
      The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
      - Proverbs 15:3

      CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


      CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Pastoral Findings on the Election Debacle

        Brothers and Sisters in Christ I am distressed. All the blame and finger pointing over this nigra being elected in this forum is troubling. God works in ways we cannot always fathom. This is an opportunity given to us by Him to set the stage for our takeover of the government and establishing a True Christian™ Nation.


        Using this nigras home country is only the beginning.

        Praise Jesus!
        Sara Palin in 2016!
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Pastoral Findings on the Election Debacle

          As usual, We Ladies are ignored entirely! Feel free to Bake your own Dungbread, then!

          Comment

          Working...
          X