What will our new "President" swear in on?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

We all know for certain that Barack Obama is NOT a Christian, but for one reason or another he continues to try to keep up the charade. On January 20th, he will once and for all come clean and show his true colors.

If you choose 'Other', please explain what you had in mind!

[Nobar King]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

He's a Muslim, so I assumed that he worships the Koran.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Probably the Qur'an, Das Kapital, and a homer porn magazine rubber-banded together.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

I apologize for editing the poll, but I'm sure it will be the Escalade.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

I imagine it'll be the Koran, NWA's Straight Outta Compton, and the latest video from Osama bin Laden, all thrown into a bucket of KFC.

[Wide-Open]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

The latest rumour is that he'll do his inauguration speech live from Gitmo, wearing an orange dress, whilst flushing a Bible.

I apologize for editing the poll, but I'm sure it will be the Escalade.

I like your thinking Mother Glendie, but I'm sure that even Obambi might find 22 feet wheels a tad oversized. Although... he could well be into monster trucks.

[SUV]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

In explanation of "Other" - it will probably be a booming-box, which'll be loudly 'rappin;' those "people" can't seem to go a minute without one blasting to Heaven. Hopefully, he won't be able to hear the proceedings and will say all the wrong things to swear-in to, which will be grounds for impeachment

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

I imagine it'll be the Koran, NWA's Straight Outta Compton, and the latest video from Osama bin Laden, all thrown into a bucket of KFC.

That's almost what I think, except I think it will be Church's instead of KFC, and Public Enemy's Fear of a Black Planet instead of NWA.

I base my assumption on this video of the scene in Chicago after Obama's win was announced.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

My concern is what filth will come out of his uppity negroe mouth. Those boys have a very different concept of what the word "swear" means than True Christians(tm) do.

All women and children will be prohibited from listening to the inaguration ceremony.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Friends, I know what a shock this is to all good Christian Republicans. But I assure you that I have personally presented President-Elect Obama with a Landover KJV1611 (authorized) Bible (and I mean the good one with the wolfskin cover), and advised him that the wrath of GOD will immediately fall upon him if he does not swear upon it and cling to it as GODLY President Bush clung to Vice-President Cheney.

I believe that he will abide as a True Christian, especially since our own scholars will be tutoring Sasha and Melia on a daily basis. Remember friends, when Obama comes to Hawaii, it is to consult with me.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Friends, I know what a shock this is to all good Christian Republicans. But I assure you that I have personally presented President-Elect Obama with a Landover KJV1611 (authorized) Bible (and I mean the good one with the wolfskin cover), and advised him that the wrath of GOD will immediately fall upon him if he does not swear upon it and cling to it as GODLY President Bush clung to Vice-President Cheney.

I believe that he will abide as a True Christian, especially since our own scholars will be tutoring Sasha and Melia on a daily basis. Remember friends, when Obama comes to Hawaii, it is to consult with me.

Well praise Jesus that you are there, good Pastor Pistle! They don't call you "Ol' Reliable" just because you're more regular than a Rolex With that liberal "Christian" Billy Graham ceasing his role as Presidential advisor, it was time that we installed a True Christian(tm) as top-man in the White House. And who better than Pastor Pistle, God's very own? I, for one, congratulate you!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Thank you, but I have declined to be the official White House Pastor. When Obama needs serious advice, he must come to me. In fact, he just did, and is in Hawaii as we speak.

Rest assured that I have a direct line, and that all decisions are approved by JESUS through me, in advance.

FYI, the wheels on the new, 2009 Presidential Limo are 19.5". The vehicle is based on my own car, which the Secret Service spent several months examining at length. It is a Chevy Tahoe 2500 HD frame with what is actually a military chassis on an over sized Cadillac-type specially built body. There are about six of them, to be delivered before inauguration day. If you parked it next to a standard Caddy Limo, it would be about 50% larger overall. I cannot get into specific details, but I can describe mine, and even show a picture of the new one from a classified source.

[TC Patriot]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Thank you, but I have declined to be the official White House Pastor. When Obama needs serious advice, he must come to me. In fact, he just did, and is in Hawaii as we speak.

Rest assured that I have a direct line, and that all decisions are approved by JESUS through me, in advance.

FYI, the wheels on the new, 2009 Presidential Limo are 19.5". The vehicle is based on my own car, which the Secret Service spent several months examining at length. It is a Chevy Tahoe 2500 HD frame with what is actually a military chassis on an oversized Cadillac-type specially built body. There are about six of them, to be delivered before inaugriation day. If you parked it next to a standard Caddy Limo, it would be about 50% larger overall. I cannot get into specific details, but I can describe mine, and even show a picture of the new one from a classified source.

Impressive and Godly!

Pastor you have helped put my mind at ease. Thank you so much.

Should we be planning for 2012 and working on finding a suitable running mate for Sister Sarah?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Impressive and Godly!

Pastor you have helped put my mind at ease. Thank you so much.

Should we be planning for 2012 and working on finding a suitable running mate for Sister Sarah?

Son, I have been gone too long. Sarah Palin is a Congregationalist Pentecostal witch. She pretends to love JESUS, but in reality she is pallin' around with witch doctors. I only hope she comes through Freehold one of these days so she can be put to the test.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: What will our new "President" swear in on?

Impressive and Godly!

Pastor you have helped put my mind at ease. Thank you so much.

Should we be planning for 2012 and working on finding a suitable running mate for Sister Sarah?

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." - 1 Timothy 2:12

What do you folks not comprehend about no woman being in a position of authority over a man? She can never be president. She can be a VP, which is a fairly pointless role, but never a president.