Teenagers molesting themselves!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Brothers and sisters, I've recently caught wind of a disturbing trend. As this article, more and more teenages are using their cell phones to send nude and semi-nude photos of themselves to their friends. Sometimes they post these self-portraits to the devil's web site, Facebook. Furthermore, they use cell phone messaging and email to send suggestive messages to each other.

Fortunately, diligent Christian-Republican prosecutors are on the job. They have started prosecuting teens who post nude photos of themselves. They are charging them with distributing child pornography. In fact, even photos of teenagers in bathing suits is enough to lead to presecution. If convicted, these oversexed teens will have to register as sex criminals.

I think this is great, but perhaps it should be taken further. There is mounting evidence that many teenagers masturbate. This sexual abuse of children has so far gone unpunished by the legal authorities. Of course, God will punish them by making hair grow on the palms of their hands, and they'll go blind, but that's no excuse for not criminally pursuing these perverts and prosecuting to the full extent of the law. Child abuse can never be tolerated.

I'm sure all right-thinking Christians will agree. Teens who touch their own privates in a depraved manner, or take photos of it, should be prosecuted just the same as if they were a 40-year-old child pornographer. Enough of this double standard.

Jesus is coming!
Brother Buford

[Bob4God]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

I absolutely agree brother. Can you think of any differences between a shady 45 year-old forcing a teenager to strip naked and pose for a camera vs. a teenager standing in front of the mirror taking pictures of himself with a cell phone? I know I can't!

Their cell phones ought to be confiscated, they should be slapped in leg irons, registered as sexual predators, and forced to pay their dues to society like any other rapist or sexual deviant!

[Nobar King]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

I mentioned this in January. Dirty high-schoolers shouldn't get camera phones: It's certainly the number one issue facing parents and kids who take pics of themselves with their camera phones.

Stronger prosecution might help.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

I absolutely agree brother. Can you think of any differences between a shady 45 year-old forcing a teenager to strip naked and pose for a camera vs. a teenager standing in front of the mirror taking pictures of himself with a cell phone? I know I can't!

Their cell phones ought to be confiscated, they should be slapped in leg irons, registered as sexual predators, and forced to pay their dues to society like any other rapist or sexual deviant!

Right you are, Brother. Sin is sin, and it doesn't matter how old you are. The naked human body is a disgusting, sinful thing, and must never be photographed under any circumstances. Praise Jesus!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

I never thought that cell phones should have cameras in the first place. After all, they are just phones. Put a camera in them and idle minds will figure out something to do with them – in this case underage prepubescent sex.

The next thing you know they will be twittering themselves.

[Christfag]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

That is just disgusting. Why are teenagers getting more and more deprived? did you know that it is more acceptable for teens to act more feminine? dispicable and and outrage. There has to be a stop to this.

[Robert Jones]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

That is just disgusting. Why are teenagers getting more and more deprived? did you know that it is more acceptable for teens to act more feminine? dispicable and and outrage. There has to be a stop to this.

Your name suggests you're a homer which makes you a sinner and God has words for you, but please, head over to the Introduction Forum and introduce yourself. Answer questions like, How old are you? What church do you attend? How did you come to find Christ as your personal savior? What's your favorite Bible verse?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

Cell phones with all their mp5 players will never see the hands of a Hutchins except for me. I do have a blackberry to keep in touch with my fellow True Christians(tm).
We have two hard wired phones at my home. one in den and a rotary pay phone out by the chicken coop for the hired help (I get 50% of every call, a sweet deal).

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Teenagers molesting themselves!

We have two hard wired phones at my home. one in den and a rotary pay phone out by the chicken coop for the hired help (I get 50% of every call, a sweet deal).

Smart business move, Brother James. Charging outrageous fees for phone use is one of the ways we maximize profits in my company's privatized prisoners, since it's a "captive market," as they say. We also work closely with telecom monopolist Carlos Slim (richest man in the world), who made his fortune by bilking impoverished peasants in Latin America.

The biggest chicken to pluck though is in the USA. In order to increase efficiency, we're planning on buying up AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, T-Mobile and Comcast, merging it into one big monolith before we jack up rates 10-fold.

Of course, we're not trying to establish a monopoly. That would be illegal. We fully intend to allow other technology companies to compete with ours. That's why we have no intention to enter the carrier pigeon and pony express markets.


Our competitors

Regulation of the free market is disastrous. It's thanks to a lack of regulation that we have literally hundreds of rich people today. As for the other 99.9999% who are poor, there is always reward in Heaven. Just keep praying, and paying.